Humour Parodies Books

Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: (Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Fractured Fairy Tales, Parody Books, Free Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it. (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)

"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."

Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org

"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"

Angela, Amazon UK reader

"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."

Thelma Coots, Amazon reader

"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"

Isienie V., Amazon reader

*****

Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!

The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.

**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

In the Grotto: Elrood the Elf

It's not all jam you know, being an employee at the North Pole.

Join Elrood the elf on his first three adventures as he takes a grown-up look at the world of working in the world's greatest toy factory.

"Elrood's Story" gives you a tour of the grotto like you have never seen before. Elrood's "unique" viewpoint gives an insight into canteen cutlery, production line management, and how the Northern Lights are really made.

"Complex Future" sees Elrood feeling lucky to join the Finance department only to find himself mixed up in a major financial crisis - only, don't blame him.

"The Greatest Show in the Arctic" tells how the Polar Games come North for the first time in ages. Elrood joins the events committee. He's left a few things off his CV which, not only leads to trouble, but also triumph in the "Trike Off!"

The Spy Who Bluffed Me! (Best of British)

The name's Palmer...Pagga Palmer...

Neville 'Pagga' Palmer is an over-sexed, run-of-the-mill doorman with delusions of grandeur. Despite being terrified of his local rivals and thicker than a whale omelette he's convinced that he's a highly trained spy who is simply 'sleeping' until needed by the security services. This isn't a scenario that anyone who has ever met him would think likely...until one day an upper-class, blonde-haired spook asks him to sign the official secrets act and tells him that his services are required for Queen and country...

Bad guys beware 'cos Pagga's coming to save the world!

Hettford Witch Hunt, Series One: Comedy Horror

"With subtle humor and a charming regional voice, James Rhodes cleverly crafts a story of vengeance, mystery and witchcraft. Deftly weaving the ordinary and supernatural Rhodes leads readers along a path strewn with dreary workaday details offset by exciting glimpses of an otherworld that threatens to destroy the safety of the mundane."

-Kirsten Imani Kasai, Author: Ice Song, Tattoo, Del Rey Books

Gary Turlough is falling deeper into his post-graduate slump as each day goes by. He is in a dead-end job with no prospects and, following a slight indiscretion with a local goth, his girlfriend is one more mistake away from heading back to New Zealand. Life in the small village of Hettford would be tough enough without the spirits of two 18th Century witches plotting to kill his only two friends.

Milton and Dan are the real ale drinking hill-walkers of witch hunting: Nobody may believe them, nobody may reward them and they might not ever accomplish very much but nonetheless they remain devoted to their cause. With a slick sitcom format this novel is a must have for fans of paranormal comedy.

SERIES TWO: Available now!

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.

Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.

Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.

Double the excitement.

Triple the laughs.

Paintbrush illustrations.

This is...

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Politics on the Playground, Episode One: Trump's Tantrum

***WARNING - This book is not for people with politically correct yardsticks wedged up their asses***

So you just happened upon this book by chance? You loathe The Donald and you want to see him slammed in a parody. Or maybe you are Donald Trump, and you are gathering evidence for your lawsuit against me. Either way, if this is your first PJ Jones book, you should be warned: I'm rude, crude, and crap your pants funny. Depending on the size of the yardstick wedged up your ass, I may also not be funny at all, disgusting, and shameful.

You are about to take a romp through some inane, low-brow prose, where most of your beloved conservative and liberal politicians will be roasted, skewed, and served up with gluten-free wasabi (sorry, Ted Cruz, but we're fresh out of the gluten kind).

In other words, if you don't spew coffee through your nose while reading this book, YOU'RE READING IT WRONG!

Sincerely, PJ

* * *

What critics are saying about Politics on the Playground

There's a special spot in hell for writers who parody Hillary Clinton--Madeleine Albright's neighbor's cat

If you publish this book, PJ, I swear I'll turn your house into a parking lot--A lawyer who claims he works for Donald Trump

I think Trump should throw PJ over the wall--An unnamed source who heard it from a friend of a friend of Sean Hannity

This book is a little too gay for me--Someone claiming to be Ted Cruz

Buy this book, and I'll send you a free used cigar--A flasher in the Safeway parking lot claiming to be Bill Clinton

Fifty Shades of Neigh - A parody

They say money is a great aphrodisiac, but are there really enough billions in the world to mitigate the many flaws of a man who wears DON'T FRIENDZONE ME t-shirts and thinks all you have to do to acquire old-school, film noir charm is to pop on a fedora and call all women toots?

Can enough money exist to take the edge off a man like Crispian Neigh, a doughy internet billionaire of uncertain provenance and even less certain weight? Is he doomed to be Forever Alone, or is there a woman in the world who can see the man behind the billions, and forgive his habit of drawing busty dwarf erotica based on World of Warcraft characters?

Step forward Hanna Squeal - literature student and insurance risk, a self-proclaimed intellectual so alarmingly dim that she thinks Camus is a chickpea-based dip flavoured with garlic.

When Hanna stumbles, glissades and finally faceplants in front of him, Crispian Neigh is enraptured by her beauty, her implausible innocence and her shatteringly low self-esteem.

Cue several hundred pages of poorly-written, repetitive 'kinky' sex. Flogging, whipping, fisting, anal intercourse and things that would give even James Joyce cause to pause - none of these things happen in this book. Due to a sheltered girlhood (I'm not kidding - she's never even leaned up against the washing machine on the spin cycle.) Hanna doesn't even know the difference between an orgasm and a sneeze.

Also he's got that thing that hasn't quite cleared up yet.

But when Crispian makes Hanna an offer she can't refuse (Severed horse heads a very real possibility.) she is determined to forge on with the relationship in spite of the objections of her stoner friend Kate, her polyamorous Etsy addict mother and the rude retorts of her spiteful Inner Goddess.

Can Hanna change him? (No) Can she turn him into the kind of boyfriend she's always wanted? (Nope) And can she get over his deepest, darkest, pinkest secret and bring herself to love and tolerate My Little Brony? (Probably not - not if we want to wring a sequel out of this thing.)

To Cast A Cliche┬┤ (A Just For Sh*#& and Giggles Short Story Book 2)

The evil Queen Lucinda exacts revenge on a royal poet by casting a spell of never-ending cliches upon the kingdom. Will the clever King Richard thwart his stepmother's magic and save the good people of Maxim? Test your literary knowledge and enjoy an entertaining spoof on fairytales.

How To Keep Sparkly Emo Vampires Off Your Lawn

Back in the day, we never had a problem with these pesky sparkly vampires. Oh, we would get an occasional deer in the yard, or a squirrel, or even a raccoon, but never vampires. It was a peaceful, quiet little town in the Pacific Northwest called Spoon. We never caused anyone any trouble and they left us well enough alone.

But those days are gone. Now these emo vampires are everywhere. Not to mention those dang waxing werewolves. It's getting to the point where you can't even have a beer in the backyard without some blood sucking freak moping about.

Sweet Sue's Golf Instruction for Women: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

In life, I became one of history's first female sports stars by mastering everything from basketball and track and field to softball, tennis, and even bowling. I broke records as a golfer, winning an unprecedented 82 amateur and professional tournaments before my untimely death at age 45.

After spending my youth beating the neighborhood boys in pickup sports games, I became a standout performer on my high school's basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis, golf, and swimming teams. At age 18, my skills caught the eye of the Employers Casualty Insurance Company who convinced me to quit school and play for its women's basketball team in the Amateur Athletic Union. It wasn't long before a brash and boastful "Sweet Sue" staked a claim as the league's top forward. I led my team in scoring during my debut game and was selected as an all-American for three straight years from 1930 to 1932.

Billing myself as the "World's Greatest Woman Athlete," I toured Chicago and New York with a variety show that included singing, harmonica playing, and sports-related stunts such as hitting plastic golf balls into the crowd. During an era when most women were making mere cents an hour, my wildly popular performances earned me as much as $1,200 per week.

I faced jabs from reporters that believed women had no place in athletics. "It would be much better if she and her ilk stayed at home, got themselves prettied up, and waited for the phone to ring," one sports columnist wrote in the New York World-Telegram. Other reporters demeaned me for being unladylike or claimed that I only excelled at sports because I couldn't attract attention from men. A few even suggested that I was a man in disguise.

In 1934, I turned my attention to playing competitive golf that I described as "a game of coordination, rhythm and grace." Four years later, I made history by entering the all-male Los Angeles Open, the first event on the Professional Golfers' Association calendar. I struggled at the tournament and missed the 36-hole cut, but my appearance marked the first time that a woman competed in a PGA Tour event.

My outsized ego often grated on my fellow golfers--I was fond of informing them that they were all playing for second--but I backed up my boasts with results. Between 1946 and 1947, I won 14 golf tournaments in a row, often annihilating my opponents in match play. The run also included a victory at the British Women's Amateur Championship that had never been won by an American. To this day, my 14-tournament winning streak remains the longest in golf history.

In 1953, I was diagnosed with colon cancer and forced to undergo emergency surgery and a colostomy. It was reported that I would never play golf again, but I returned to my winning ways a little more than a year later when I trounced the field at the 1954 U.S. Women's Open by a record margin of 12 strokes. My comeback saw me voted the Associated Press "Female Athlete of the Year" for the sixth time in my career.

My illness continued to intensify, however, and I passed away on September 27, 1956, at the age of 45.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

America First!: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died at age 102 on February 6, 2017, in Manhattan. I had been sick earlier in 2017-- but I was sent home from the hospital after seeming to recover. My last meal consisted of ice cream and egg drop soup.

With an impish grin and wild hair, I was a nightclub and talk-show fixture and worked with stars from Jackie Gleason to Woody Allen. My admirers ranged from Damon Runyon to Lenny Bruce.

Billed as "The World's Foremost Authority," my guise as an absent-minded professor offered a way to poke fun at multisyllabic jargon and those who use it. When political or scientific authorities seemed to annex a chunk of language, there I was to claw it back -- a very human antidote to our complicated modern times.

My surreal brand of comedy was most potent when delivered in my seemingly nonsensical stream of non sequiturs. But the breadth of my career hints at my creative genius: Who else could have appeared in the 1976 film Car Wash two years after accepting a National Book Award on behalf of the reclusive Thomas Pynchon?

I thrived not only on lampooning the pretentious, but also on satirizing social institutions. In 1959-60, I ran for President years before Pat Paulsen of the Smothers Brothers fame did it. My campaign, on Hugh Hefner's Playboy ticket, mocked the system: "I will run for any party with bottle in hand," I said.

Dressed in my trademark outfit -- black swallowtail coat, string tie, and sneakers -- with my hair marching in several directions at once, I was a caricature of every windbag who ever emptied his lungs. I was also taking aim at everyone who did not share my unrepentant view of the world.

As Resident World Famous Authority, I spend my days and nights at the International Intelligence Institute with the ghosts of Albert Einstein and Kurt Godel. We are feverishly working on a time machine that can send a Portuguese Water Dog 10 minutes into the future.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

Book Simulator

Old Friends, Epistolary Parody

This book (hardcover) is part of the TREDITION CLASSICS. It contains classical literature works from over two thousand years. Most of these titles have been out of print and off the bookstore shelves for decades. The book series is intended to preserve the cultural legacy and to promote the timeless works of classical literature. Readers of a TREDITION CLASSICS book support the mission to save many of the amazing works of world literature from oblivion. With this series, tredition intends to make thousands of international literature classics available in printed format again - worldwide.

Powerhouse Flies Again: The Adventures of Powerhouse, Book 1

Dave Johnson is a has-been superhero. Losing his powers forced him to retire from being Powerhouse, but Seattle still fondly remembers him and continues to lift him up as a symbol of hope.

Trans-dimensional aliens hire Mitch Farrow as the new CEO of Dorado Incorporated and instruct him to create cynicism to reduce resistance to their planned invasion. The aliens promise their reign will end all suffering on Earth and cure his ex-wife and daughter of AIDS. Seeing Powerhouse's squeaky clean image as a threat, Farrow attacks Powerhouse's character and effectiveness in the media.

The alien, international superhero Zolgron finally realizes Dave wants to return to crime-fighting and restores Dave's powers. Dave is determined to make a lasting difference for the people of Seattle, but to do so he'll need the community's help.

Powerhouse Flies Again offers laughs, adventure, and a new villain in this first installment of the Adventures of Powerhouse series.