Humour Books

Wrong Text, Right Love : An Opposites Attract Romantic Comedy (Against All Odds Book 1)

USA TODAY Bestselling Author Claudia Burgoa presents an engaging love story full of mistaken identity, drunk texts, and hysterical mishaps.Sex talk is my job. I’m an influencer. I run a popular blog where I give all kinds of dating tips, and girls all over the world thank me for helping them with their love lives.I wish I could follow my own advice because my love life is totally dead. I just drunk texted my ex-boyfriend… except, I didn’t. That text ended up going to someone else.Oops.This new relationship is almost picture-perfect, just like my online life. I guess I give good…text.He doesn’t have to put up with my colorful personality--as my hot next-door neighbor describes me. Or my messy schedule.This long-distance relationship is the best thing that’s happened to me and I plan to keep it that way.Until we agree to meet up, and I’m freaking out. When he meets the real me, will he hate me forever?Or will we be one day telling our grandkids about that wrong text, right love?***Wrong Text, Right Love is a cute rom-com of two secret lovers who prepare to risk it all for love. Claudia Burgoa brings the flirty fun in this cozy novel of risking it all for romance.This is a standalone story with an HEA

The Negotiator (A Hot Romantic Comedy) (Harbor City Book 1)

Wanted: Personal Buffer Often snarly, workaholic executive seeks “buffer” from annoying outside distractions AKA people. Free spirits with personal boundary issues, excessive quirks, or general squeamishness need not apply. Salary negotiable. Confidentiality required. Workaholic billionaire Sawyer Carlyle may have joked he needed a buffer from their marriage-obsessed mom, but he didn’t need a waiting room filled with candidates to further distract him. (Thanks, bro.) But when a sexy job applicant shooes his mom and the socialite in tow out of his office, Sawyer sees the genius of the plan. And the woman. In fact, Miss Clover Lee might just get the fastest promotion in history, from buffer to fake fiancé...This free-spirit might look like hot sunshine and lickable rainbows, but she negotiates like a pitbull. Before Sawyer knows what hit him, he’s agreed to give up Friday nights for reality tv, his Saturdays for flea markets (why buy junk still baffles him), his Tuesdays and Thursdays for date nights (aka panty-losing opportunities if he plays his cards right). And now she wants lavender bath salts and tulips delivered every Monday? Yup, she’s just screwing with him. Good thing she’s got this non-negotiatable six-weeks-and-she’s-gone rule or Sawyer may have just met this match..

Books for Kids 9-12: BODY SWAP: Catastrophe!!! (A very funny book for boys and girls)

Swapping bodies might be fun for some but when 12 year old Jack Stevenson wakes up from a freak accident one day and finds himself in his dad's body, his life abruptly becomes one huge disaster after another. When he realizes that his dad will have to go to school in his place, things instantly get much, much worse. Will he be able to remain captain of the school football team and what will happen to Holly, the prettiest girl at school who he has a huge crush on and is hoping to be his girlfriend?What will all his friends think of his strange behavior and how will he ever cope with the sudden catastrophe he's been faced with?This hilarious book for girls and boys of all ages with have you laughing from start to finish and keep you wondering what is going to happen next.If you love funny books then you will not be disappointed with Body Swap - Book 1: Catastrophe. It is a great book for kids that everyone is sure to enjoy.

49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom (The 49... Series Book 1)

"This book made me and my kids cry with laughter. Our favourite one was Excuce 32." ★★★★★"This book has a quirky sense of humour that will no doubt appeal to fans of Wimpy Kid, Barry Loser and David Walliams. There are 49 interesting excuses including illustrations that range from slightly silly to completely outrageous. Even though I am an adult, I did smile a few times while reading this!" ★★★★★•  Is your bedroom a tip?•  Did you forget to tidy?•  Can you hear the sound of parental footsteps getting closer and closer?Here’s 49 (extremely silly) excuses for not tidying your bedroom!Join the comical adventure of these mischievous kids who will try absolutely anything to get away with not tidying their bedrooms. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt, you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won't help you get away with having a messy bedroom.Recommended Age: 8+

What Reggie Did on the Weekend: Seriously! (The Reggie Books Book 1)

On the weekend I looked for a new book. I always read the description first because, you know, I won’t read just any old thing. So I read the description for this book and thought it looked okay, so then I read the online sample and laughed so hard that a little bit of pee came out. Okay, a lot of pee came out. ALRIGHT! I PEED SO MUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY PANTS! There, are you happy now? It’s funny, okay? And it isn’t all about vomit and farts either (okay, a lot of it is about vomit and farts, but what’s wrong with that?)*Every Monday at school, Reggie writes an essay that begins with “On the weekend…” WARNING: You might want to have a spare pair of undies handy while you read about Reggie's weekends.*

Illustrated Would You Rather?: Jokes and Game Book for Children Age 5-11 (Silly Kids and Family Scenarios 1)

Looking for a perfect gift book with JOKES, SECRET GAME, AND ILLUSTRATIONS? Here you go!Would you rather swim faster than a shark; or speak in the voice of any person; or have a magical giant flying dragon; or create an odd superhero—Broccoliman? With this book, the options are limitless.Boys and girls of all ages love miracles. This book is full of magical creatures. Among them are dinosaurs, giant sea monsters, weird beasts, smart, friendly, and rare animals.The main hero of this book tries unusual hobbies, breaks sports records, visits remote countries, tastes strange meals, solves dangerous puzzles, and finds himself in the shoes of his favorite cartoon characters.As kids choose WOULD YOU RATHER crazy scenarios, they're sure to get the giggles! Moreover, every silly joke in this book is hilariously illustrated!Many kids of age from 5 to 11 years old enjoy coming up with their variations of these scenarios. It helps them to improve logical reasoning skills, skyrocket creativity, and develop a brilliant sense of humor.There are many important life lessons in the “YES or NO” Crazy Questions Game. At the same time, silly riddles and questions are extremely funny, especially because they are related to scenarios from the beginning of the book.The answers are often unexpected, thought-provoking, and fun to read together, even for parents, grandmas and grandpas, teachers, and elder siblings. Therefore, the whole family, church, or class will enjoy playing this cool quiz game.In this book, your boy or girl will discover:80 Silly “Would You Rather” situations which will often make little kids cry with laughter40 Ultra-funny unique hand-drawn illustrations picturing every single scenarioCrazy Questions Game with 80 sensational “Do you believe it or not” questionsMind-blowing answers with often surprising explanationsGold mine of information related to the scenarios—references to some of the oddest marvels which happened in different places of the worldand much more…Please also click the book’s cover to use Amazon’s ‘LOOK INSIDE’ feature and check out the wonderful illustrations of this funny picture book and see the examples of scenarios.This book is a corny bathroom reader and a top gift idea for the best friend’s birthday party, holiday, and even without an occasion.It's also an awesome read for a kindergarten, elementary school, backyard, beach, park, other outdoor space, summer camp, waiting room, airport, train station, boat, plane, metro, bus, car ride, and so on. It contains some of the best entertaining backseat road trip activities for kids.The readers even told me it could have become an award-winning book if there was such a thing as a crazy game-book award. So I’m sure your sons and daughters will love to read it!And let me tell you something else! A few children even used it as a coloring book and emailed me some jolly drawings of the book’s main hero. It was very touching, indeed!Some moms and dads use these one-of-a-kind scenarios as lunchbox jokes for kids, which was another unexpected idea for me.Please, check out the reviews and you'll see even kids and teenagers give their feedback. So it's definitely recommended as a gift for 5-11-year-old boys and girls.Thus, if you want to make your kid laugh like a hyena, then scroll up and click the “Buy now with 1-Click” button to get your book instantly!

Tongue Twisters for Kids

"Rubber baby buggy bumpers" - Say this three times as fast as you can. How about, try saying " Loopy lizards lying lazily aloft a little lane of logs," without messing up. This Tongue Twister book is huge collection of funny phrases, ridiculous rhymes, and silly sentences that will have kids laughing for hours. Each one challenges your mouth muscles as you try to say these tongue twisters faster and multiple times. A tongue twister is a phrase that is supposed to be difficult to articulate properly. Often times they take practice to say correctly. Tongue twisters are good practice for children as they learn to form words, phrases, and vowels. It's hard to say a tongue twister without a smile on your face. Each tongue twister in this book has it's own silly illustration. Kids will be entertained with these tongue twisters for hours.

Diary of an Adorable Fat Girl: Book One

BOOK ONE: Mary Brown is funny, gorgeous and bonkers. She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers that even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun.This series is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins 'Fat Club' where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye. As the series develops, Mary goes off on a whole load of adventures. Join her for all of them. See: for more details.The stories are laugh-out-loud funny and will resonate with anyone who has dieted, tried to keep up with any sort of exercise programme or spent 10 minutes in a changing room trying to extricate herself from a way too-small garment that she ambitiously tried on and is now completely stuck in.This is the first mini book. The second installment is here: note - this is a mini book. If you want to read the full novel, you can buy the first three books altogether here:

The Baby Brother From Outer Space!: World Book Day 2018 (Baby Aliens)

When Haroon's mum brings his baby brother into school, Izzy and her friends are ALARMED! The baby is clearly using mind control because the office ladies are being REALLY NICE. He spells space words with his blocks and he REALLY LIKES SCHOOL DINNERS! But it's when he starts USING HIS ALIEN PHONE that they know. Haroon's baby brother is from outer space and he's MAKING CONTACT WITH ALIENS! A brand new laugh-out-loud story created especially for World Book Day by Blue Peter Award winners Pamela Butchart and Thomas Flintham. Read more of Izzy's adventures! Read more of Izzy's adventures! Baby Aliens Got My TeacherThe Spy Who Loved School DinnersMy Headteacher Is a Vampire RatAttack of the Demon Dinner LadiesTo Wee Or Not To Wee!There's a Werewolf In My Tent!The Phantom Lollipop Man!There’s a Yeti in the Playground!Icarus Was Ridiculous!

Miranda and Me

Hello and welcome to the first book ever written by a dog - me, Miss Peggy Hart. I just couldn't wait any longer for Miranda's book all about me (Peggy and Me) to come out in October so decided to release my own book ahead of Miranda, and here it is! It turns out I am not just pretty face. And what a pretty face I hear you say. I know. Just look at me. I like to say I look like a cloud breathed by angels. I just say it how I see it. But my skills are not just my incredible natural beauty, I am also quite the literary whizz. And I hope you like my book . What's even more exciting is it contains Twitter stories from the nation's own #AndMe moments, the best of which Miranda and I have hand-selected to appear in this ebook! The great British public have spilled the beans on their own doting companions, canine or otherwise. Oh and it also contains a sneak preview from Peggy and Me AND an exclusive introduction from none other than moi and Miranda. Expect laughter and tears - fuelled by a rich reserve of chaotic cats, pompous pooches and the odd human along the way. I do so hope you like it because I love you very much and want to make you happy. I am lovely like that. Lots of licks and woofs to you and I hope to meet you in person one day.The Pegster signing out (but do follow me on Twitter @realpeggyhart).

Me, Milli, lemons and airplanes

Fast-paced and funny, with a few sticks of dynamite and some magic lemon sodaA deliciously fruity story about a 10-year-old boy who has been left all alone in the world after his parents, who owned the world’s smallest airline, disappeared on a flight.When Milli suddenly shows up with her plan to blow together an airplane (whatever that means) and lemons begin to fly, his lonely life becomes just a little bit too excitingJust long enough for young readers to give it a go for themselves. And if you would rather read for your children yourself, You shouldn't be surprised if you enjoyed it too.So get ready to follow Marius and Milli as they start their unlikely friendship and somehow accidentally makes a few people float away into the sky.

Knock Knock!: Over 100 Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Best Jokes for Kids Book 1)

Funny and Hilarious Knock Knock JokesYou will giggle so hard at these funny knock knock jokes for kids. There are over 100 super-funny and hilarious knock knock jokes created to make you laugh!Over 100 knock knock jokesExcellent for early readersFun for kids, teens, or adultsFrom the book...Knock knock!Who’s there?Manny!Manny who?Manny times I have knocked on this door!Knock knock!Who’s there?Aitch!Aitch who?Bless You!Knock knock!Who’s there?Boo!Boo who?Don’t cry. It’s just a joke!Comedy, humor, and joke-telling have many positive benefits associated with it. Jokes can bring a smile to the face of others and put you in a great mood! Here are a few more benefits associated with joke-telling:Help you bond with friends and familyLighten tense situationsHelp you make friendsGreat conversation startersPerfect for texts and status updatesScroll up and click buy to start laughing today!

In Search of a Love Story (Love Story Book One )

Emily Donovan doesn’t have a romantic bone in her body.At least, that’s what her friends Ryan and Ashley keep telling her. They’re convinced her bad luck with men is directly related to her life-long lack of interest in all things romantic. When Emily’s latest relationship crashes and burns, she decides to go along with her friends’ plans for a romance research project. Sure, the idea that she’ll have better luck if she learns about the great romances of literature and film seems a little silly, but Emily figures it can’t hurt.In no time at all, Emily finds herself buried under a mountain of romance novels, chick flicks, and sappy love songs, hopeful that her hard work will pay off with true love. When she meets Greg, Ashley and Ryan are convinced she’s found prince charming—after all, he’s rich, handsome, and totally into Emily. What more could she want? And why does it seem that her friend Elliot isn’t exactly happy for her?Faced with misunderstandings, miscommunications, and a seemingly endless string of missteps, she is nevertheless determined to give true love a try. In doing so, Emily will eventually find that true romance, the kind that lasts, has little to do with stereotypes or clichés, and everything to do with finding out what’s in her own heart.This is book #1 of the Love Story series. Don't miss the sequel, An Unexpected Love Story, available now!

Funny Jokes for Kids: 100 Hilarious Jokes

100 Funny Jokes for Kids 4-8 Years Old!Kids love jokes! Keep your children entertained and amused with this funny joke book for kids ages 4-8. There are jokes about animals, school, sports, knock knock jokes, and holiday jokes! Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes for kids and children.This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Also available in paperback and audiobook formats!100 funny jokes for kidsExcellent for early and beginning readersLots of fun and entertainment for your childGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudSpecial Note: The illustrations in this book are optimized for a vivid and colorful experience in e-readers, tablets, phones, and computers!Jokes from this funny book...Q: What dinosaur loves pancakes?A: A tri-syrup-tops!HAHA!Q: What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?A: Lots of very worried dogs!LOL!Q: Why was the principal worried?A: There were too many rulers in school!HAHA!Q: What did the coach scream to the snack machine?A: Give me my quarterback!100 Funny Jokes for Kids!The Funniest Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children)Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment.This funny joke book is full of funny jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about animals, school, sports, knock knock jokes, and holiday jokes will have you laughing for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning.Scroll up and click 'buy' to get this hilarious joke book!

Shaye and Grandad's Amazing Flying Machine: Book 1, The ride of a Lifetime. A funny FREE Illustrated Adventure book Series for Children of all ages.

REVIEWSA Fabulous children's book, with a great story.We all really enjoyed this book, it is funny and has some great illustrations. Shaye and his grandad are fabulous. Looking forward to reading book 2.----------------------------------------------------------SHAYE IS NOT LIKE ANY OTHER 10 YEAR OLD BOY BECAUSE SHAYE IS A FEARLESS ADVENTURER.After the most vivid dream William Williamson (Shaye's Grandad) had ever had, he had a BRILLIANT idea.The most crazy idea you could ever imagine. To be the first to build a bird like Flying Machine, and fly it around the world. A Flying Machine with feathers, a tail and wings that flap like a bird. Many have tried and all have failed, but Grandad is determined to succeed, with Shaye's help.But this will not be easy, and it could be dangerous, but Grandad and Shaye know they must build it.Best of all ten year old Shaye will fly it because Shaye has no fear of heights unlike his grandad who gets dizzy standing on a chair.Can they build it?Will it work?Will it even get off the ground?Only time will tell, but they must try.On their journey they meet some weird and wonderful people, and have some fun exciting Adventures.

Beefcake & Cupcakes: Girls' Night Out Never Tasted So Good Contemporary RomCom (BeefCake, Inc. Book 1)

Sugar is sweet, but so is revengeAll Lara Cavallo wants to do is make her bakery business, Cavallo's Cups & Cakes, a success, and be able to stop accepting alimony from her rotten, cheating ex-husband. But first she needs to find her clothes and escape the strange hotel room she wakes up in before she embarrasses herself any further in front the owner of that gorgeous naked keister she spots through the bathroom door. She needs to keep her mind on her cupcakes. She doesn't have time for beefcake, no matter how enticing.Cupcakes are sweet, and so is Lara…All Gage Tomlinson wants is to find a way to help his single-mom sister pay the hospital bills for his six-year-old nephew, badly injured in a hit and run accident. Working construction during the day and as the owner of the exotic male dance troupe BeefCake, Inc. by night doesn't leave much time for indulgence. Too bad the sweetest thing he's seen in ages passes out on him and then takes off before he even gets a nibble. He's got a sweet tooth, and only Lara's "cupcakes" will satisfy him.But when cupcake finally meets beefcake, it's hot enough to melt the buttercream right off the cake.Ingredients:Lara Cavallo, a baker who’s just starting out after a divorce,Gage Tomlinson, a stripper who’s been around the block and needs money for his nephew’s surgery,Cara and Bryan, two best friends who mean well,And Jeff, the ex husband who doesn’t.Mix them all together at the social event of the season and you get one sexy batch of dancing "cupcakes"!

Trouble in Mudbug (Ghost-in-Law Mystery/Romance Book 1)

Scientist Maryse Robicheaux thought that a lot of her problems had gone away with her mother-in-law’s death. The woman was rude, pushy, manipulative and used her considerable wealth to run herd over the entire town of Mudbug, Louisiana. Unfortunately, death doesn’t slow down Helena one bit.DEA Agent Luc LeJeune is wondering what his undercover assignment investigating the sexy scientist has gotten him into – especially as it seems someone wants her dead. Keeping his secrets while protecting Maryse proves to be easier than fighting his attraction for the brainy beauty. (Note: This book is part of the author’s backlist, originally released in print in 2009 by Dorchester Publishing)

Dial P For Poison (Movie Club Mysteries, Book 1): An Irish Cozy Mystery

“My career in the San Francisco PD ended the day I arrested my husband.”Maggie Doyle gives her cheating ex and crumbling career in the San Francisco PD the proverbial middle finger, and moves to the Wild West…of Ireland.Lured by her aunt’s promise of a restful Irish vacation, Maggie agrees to help out at the Movie Theater Café in exchange for bed and board. Things are looking up—until the most hated woman on Whisper Island is poisoned at the café. With her aunt as the prime suspect, Maggie and her rock-hard muffins are hurled into the murder investigation.With the help of her UFO-enthusiast friend, a nun, and a feral puppy, Maggie is determined to clear her aunt’s name. Can she catch the murderer before they strike again? Or will her terrible baking skills burn down the cafe first?Grab a copy and find out today!***Includes a recipe for the fatal cocktail—minus the deadly ingredient!***For more murder and mayhem with Maggie and her friends be sure to check out the other Movie Club Mystery books!

Clara Meets The Parents: Grab a margarita and escape to Mexico in this laugh-out-loud beach read. (Clara Andrews Series Book 2)

Grab a margarita, slip on your sunglasses and join Clara on her fun-filled trip to Mexico. Almost a year has passed since Clara Andrews found love in the arms of delectable American Oliver Morgan, and things are starting to heat up.The nights of tequila shots and bodycon dresses are now a distant memory, but a content Clara couldn't be happier about it.And it’s not just Clara who things have changed for… Marc is adjusting to his new role as Baby Daddy, and Lianna is lost in the arms of the hunky Dan once again. With her friends busy with their own lives, Clara is ecstatic when Oliver declares it time to meet the Texan in-laws. Discovering that the introduction will take place on the sandy beaches of Mexico simply adds to her excitement, but things aren’t set to be smooth sailing…Will Clara be able to win over Oliver’s audacious mother?What secrets will unfold when she finds an ally in the beautiful and captivating Erica?Clara is going to need a little more than sun and sand to get through this one... PRAISE FOR THE CLARA SERIES -"I love Lacey's style of writing!""Lacey London has achieved what other authors struggle to do by keeping the reader hooked!""There is a true art to writing a series of books that just keep getting better and Lacey definitely has it.""Reading this book is like having your best friend right there next to you..." BOOKS IN THE SERIES – Meet Clara AndrewsClara Meets the ParentsMeet Clara MorganClara at ChristmasMeet Baby MorganClara in the CaribbeanClara in AmericaClara in the MiddleClara’s Last ChristmasClara Bounces BackClara’s Greek Adventure

LOL: Funny Jokes and Riddles for Kids (Laugh Out Loud Book 1)

Funny and Hilarious Jokes and Riddles for KidsAlso available in PAPERBACK and AUDIOBOOK formatJohnny B. Laughing provides children with lots of fun and laughter with his hilarious and silly jokes. Young readers will have a blast sharing this awesome collection of jokes and riddles with their friends and family! This children's joke book will have youngsters rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child. Inside you will find silly and corny jokes, riddles, wordplay, and humor. Also included are some fun mazes for an added bonus!Makes a wonderful birthday gift or holiday gift for kids and joke lovers!100+ funny and hilarious jokes and riddlesChallenging mazes and puzzlesMakes the perfect gift for early and beginning readers"Another instant classic joke book by the world-renowned comedian, Johnny B. Laughing"From the book...Q: What did the salt say to the pepper?A: Hey! What’s shaking?♦ ♦ ♦Q: Why did the car get a flat tire?A: There was a fork in the road!♦ ♦ ♦Q: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?A: Frostbite!♦ ♦ ♦Q: What do cows make during earthquakes?A: Milkshakes!♦ ♦ ♦Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?A: He was feeling crummy!Funny and hilarious jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults!The Joke King, Johnny B. Laughing, is back with another worldwide mega-bestseller. He decided to remaster all of his joke books and recreate and update them all with even more funny and silly jokes for you to enjoy. The Joke King's collection makes a perfect gift for early and beginner readers, kids ages 6-10 (and up), and even makes a few silly adults chuckle every now and then. These jokes are perfect for text messages, status updates, and a few funny laughs in between.Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing-out-loud today!

Shaye and Grandads Amazing Adventures: The search for Sir Edward Cranach's gold (A FREE Mystery and Adventure book for Children of all ages) (Shaye and ... Amazing Adventures (Illustrated book))

REVIEWSExceptional readLoved the book it was a great story the cover picture was great. Reading about the different characters I felt I knew them in person. There was pictures throughout the book which visions what was happening. Everything about the story was very well written you felt that you were with them. I don’t want to say too much about it as don’t want to spoil anyone’s read however would honestly recommend this book.----------------------A Strange old House with hidden passages and a dark secret? A tough young girl Adventurer called Alex appears from nowhere?A mystery so incredible it would blow your mind.What lies in wait for our two fearless Adventurers only time will tell?When Shaye woke on what seemed like any other normal day he never expected even in his wildest dreams to be searching for hidden treasure. Or, to be stuck in a dark cellar with an odd smelling Zombie with false teeth and a Big wonky eye. Inside the big old creepy house, there are hidden rooms and secret passages and strange things you couldn’t imagine seeing even in the scariest films.William, Shaye’s grandad had decided to visit his oldest friends at the end of the road care home. A house once owned by Sir Edward Cranach an industrialist with a love of gold. Old Terry Chapman had found a strange little book in the library with five clues to where the gold is buried, but they are not alone in this quest, someone is watching them. Who is the shadowy figure? And can Shaye, grandad and his friends find the gold before the stranger?Sample-------------------“What was mum on about when she said she was worried about you grandad?”“Oh, nothing to worry yourself about lad, sometimes we all forget things. If I ever get as forgetful as Sid then I’ll start to worry.”“Why what happened to him?”“Sid was always meticulous about his clothes; he would spend hours getting dressed in the mornings, he even ironed his socks and underpants, until one day.”“What happened grandad?”“Well, on this day he got dressed as normal and headed to the local shop for his morning paper, it was a dark morning and everything was fine until he stepped inside the shop.”“What happened?” said a wide-eyed Shaye again.“His clothes were immaculate as usual, He was wearing a crisply ironed shirt, his favourite red-spotted bowtie a rather splendid tweed jacket and his highly polished brown shoes, you could almost see your face in them, but there was one vital piece of clothing missing.”Shaye scratches his head. “What was that?”“He had forgotten to put his pants on. He was standing in the middle of the shop in his bright orange underpants. It was all very embarrassing; he had to wrap his newspaper around his waist to go home. The old lady that works in the shop fainted and had to be taken home.”“What happened to him?”“He moved into, The end of the road care home, where we are going today lad, I will introduce you to him when we get there.”----------------------------------An Amazing fun Children's illustrated Mystery and Adventure book.GET IT NOW WHILE IT'S FREE, hurry it won't be free for long.

Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge (The Bex Carter Series)

Be sure to check out the first book of the Ava G. Chronicles!Bex is growing up! Read about her high school adventures in the hilarious new series, The Bex Carter Dramadies.Book 1 of the Bex Carter Series: Thirteen-year-old Bex Carter has a lot on her plate. Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies, however it turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her?#1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge#2: All's Fair in Love and Math#3: Winter Blunderland#4: The Great "BOY"cott of Lincoln Middle#5: Love, Politics, and Red Velvet Cupcakes#6: So Scandalous#7: My B.F.F. (Bogus Fake Friend)#8: Camp Lie-A-Lot

Confessions of a Queen B* (The Queen B* Book 1)

"Fans of YA will totally get a kick out of McHugh's novel not only because it's funny, but also because the characters are so real." -- RT Book ReviewsWINNER of the NATIONAL READERS CHOICE AWARD for best YA of 2015Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B—the Queen B*tch.After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposés on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways.Saving a freshman from bullies? Check.Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check.Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan.But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who’s posting X-rated videos from the girls’ locker room, she’ll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she’s never questioned—until now.And don't miss the sequel, The Queen B* Strikes Back, available NOW!

Self Service

Self Service is a comedy novel from author Matt Clay. It's the story of Martin, a 30 something year old man who splits up with his girlfriend after a supposedly romantic holiday and realises his life is lacking in direction. Through a series of increasingly more embarrassing incidents and dates, Martin attempts to find love but generally ends up in the beer aisle of his local supermarket. Fast paced with strong language throughout, the book aims to make the reader laugh out loud on as many pages as possible.

Menopause - I'm SO Over It

In this humorous take on the subject, find out why Laurie would rather walk down Main Street wearing her underwear outside her pants than juggle multiple menopause symptoms for one more day. Get a laugh out of her rant attacks, quizzes, songs, poems, and more. You can find something funny even in the midst of the misery often associated with menopause. Use this handy e-book when you want to laugh instead of cry about this challenging stage of life.

Love and Chaos: (Standalone Bad Boy Romance) (Growing Pains Book 4)

From USA Today Bestselling author, Willow Summers, is a hilarious and steamy romance.It was supposed to be easy. Just a quick trip to the wine country to help her good friend, Peter. She never expected to meet his bad boy brother...Muscled, tattooed, and riding a Harley, Jace has Cassie’s heart racing and blood boiling. Struggling to keep her desire on a tight leash, she must do everything she can to keep Peter’s secret. But resisting that dimpled smile is harder than she could’ve ever imagined…A standalone book based on the bestselling Growing Pains series. HEA. No cliffhanger!

Embarrassing True Stories

Have you ever had one of those moments, when something so horribly awkward and embarrassing happens, you just want to crawl in a hole and die?Well, you're not alone.This book is full of those moments. And as terrible as they may be when they happen to you, they're pretty funny when they happen to someone else.

100+ Insults: Funny Insults, Comedy, and Humor!

The Funniest Insult Jokes in the World!Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body? Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today!100+ funny insults and jokesHilarious insults, comedy, and humorHours of funny jokes and entertainmentWith this MASSIVE collection of funny insult jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny insults is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.Uses for funny jokes...Can aid in storytellingGreat for conversation startersImproves conversation and social skillsCan make others laugh, smile, and be more playfulCan lighten tense moods and create rapport with othersAre you looking for funny and hilarious insult jokes?You’re so dumb… you thought the Harlem Shake was a drink!LOLYou’re so fat… you fell out of both sides of the bed!HAHAYou’re so poor… you wash your paper plates!LOLYour feet are so big your shoes need license plates!This Hilarious Joke Book has 100+ Funny Insults About...You’re so dumb insultsYou’re so ugly insultsYou’re so fat insultsYou’re so skinny insultsYou’re so poor insultsOther insults…LOL Funny Jokes ClubThe LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all!Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!

Funny Feckin' Irish Jokes: Humorous Jokes About Everything Irish...sure tis great craic!

Do you Like funny feckin’ Irish jokes? Well then, you’ve come to the rite place! In this humorous eBook the author has made an epic collection of the funniest Irish jokes, from the popular kerryman jokes to the timeless Paddy Irishman jokes this eBook will have you in stitches! This book is a must for anyone intending to visit Ireland or for the many Irish diaspora abroad wanting to reconnect with their Irish humour. Did ya hear the one about the Irish boomerang?It doesn’t come back it just sings songs about how much it wants to!What do you call an Irishman who’s been dead for 50years? PeatHow do you get an Irishman on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the houseWhat do you call a Kerryman under a wheelbarrow? A mechanicPaddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns around to them and says; "What is this, some kind of joke?" Warning: Contains funny feckin’ Irish Jokes!Grab your copy today!Also available in paperback!

101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

Our Story:-The tale of Master and slave: 9 Super Hardcore Sex Humiliation and Parody Etotic Stories Bundle

ContentsFaye's Days1Our Story...The tale of Master and slave67Arms117Taming Gerald's Perversions330Waste Disposal367Three Expulsions408Slavery for Julie465Satisfying Stephanie531Graduation Party651

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

Author Al Macy is a character and a tightwad with a unique sense of humor. He and his wife squirreled away enough money to retire early, do interesting things, and take unusual trips. As he puts it:“Every day I wake up with nothing to do, and by the end of the day, I've only gotten half of it done.”During his working life, Macy was a neuroscientist, computer game programmer, jazz trombonist, chef, CEO, piano player, clam digger, and technical writer.The book is a journal of a car/bicycle/camping trip from California to St. Louis and back, but Macy promises that “if it starts sounding like one of your brother-in-law’s boring slide shows, I will stop this book, and we’ll turn around and go home. I mean it.”Interspersed with the journal chapters, you'll find thought-provoking life tips, stories from the past, and descriptions of Al's wacky inventions. You’ll hear poignant anecdotes about what happened when doctors discovered a golf-ball-sized tumor in his wife’s brain and how everything they owned burned.Here's an example of one of those chapters:Chapter 47 - Puking in a ThunderstormHere’s a mishap that illustrates the saying “You’re on an adventure when you wish you were home wishing you were on an adventure.”In 1982, Lena and I were visiting her folks in Sweden, and we went on a ryggsäcksfotvandringtur. To speak Swedish, all you do is take a bunch of English words, screw around with them, and squeeze them together. For example, in the big word in the last sentence, the only real foreign part is “rygg” which refers to one’s back. Other than that it’s just “Back - sack - foot - wandering - tour,” meaning “wandering around on foot with a pack on your back,” or “backpacking.”Apparently we have 1,019,729.6 words in English (.6 really?). In Swedish, the total depends on how you count them. Is "ryggsäcksfotvandringtur” one word, or just five words stuck together? Most Swedish dictionaries have around a half-million entries, but if you count words that are Velcroed together, it has many more.Speaking of Velcro, it was discovered when Georges de Mestral went for a fotvandringstur, and noticed the burrs that stuck to his pants. The word “Velcro” was added to our dictionary in the year nineteen something-or-other. I’ve learned that the phrase “Velcro forehead” refers to the overly dramatic gesture of tilting your head back and holding the back of your wrist against your forehead (”Oh, woe is me!”). Can you tell that I’m worried that this chapter is too short, and I am desperately looking for stuff to add?So anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Lena and I were on a short backpacking trip in the mountains of sweden. On our route to the more desolate sections, we passed houses that had sod growing on the roof. And when I say sod, I don’t mean the neat, well-mowed stuff you buy at the nursery. I mean long messy grass, other small plants, cuckoo birds, and gophers. And these weren’t museum displays put up for tourists, people were really living in these things. It’s where we get the saying “People who live in sod houses should throw stones, but no stones from the roof, please.”This was a great place to foot wander, but when we were the farthest from the car, Lena got sick (really sick), and both Lena and the heavens opened up at the same time. It gave me a case of Velcro forehead, and my main memory of that trip is of continually taking tiny plastic snack bags of vomit out and dumping them in the streams of water surrounding the tent.Luckily Lena’s Scandinavian constitution won out over the bugs, and the next morning she was all better and ready to drag me home, out of the wilderness. So, we had a general good time despite the puking adventure.If that kind of humor appeals to you, you need to buy this book. And if you're still on the fence, please use the Look Inside feature or download a free sample to your Kindle.

30 Days to Stop Overeating: A Mindfulness Program with a Touch of Humor

Let people know you’re practicing mindfulness! Post a picture of your book cover via social media and include #30DaysNow. Our various guides share the same lessons, so you can see how others are using mindfulness on their journey!Each mindfulness exercise has a unique hashtag for connecting with others so that you can share your insights and favorite lessons online.This 30 day mindfulness guide will help you awaken to the truth and discover that overeating is a dependency that you no longer need. This habit can be stopped, and you have the ability to stop it.  Live a healthier life, free from the habit of overeating.Disclosure (Shared Lessons and Exercises): Keep in mind that our mindfulness guides share the same lessons and exercises, so there is no need to purchase more than one; unless you are sharing with a group or giving the guides as gifts. Our mindfulness guides are created for various topics; however, they utilize the same lessons and exercises, so please be aware of this before purchasing. For example, 30 Days to Stop Overeating will mostly have the same lessons and exercises as 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety and so forth. By reading just one of our guides, you’ll be able to apply the same lessons and exercises to multiple areas of your life.Give the gift of mindfulness. See our other guides on Amazon or at if you wish to purchase a book for a loved one or for group study. See the disclosure above.Guides that make for great gifts include 30 Days to Reduce Stress, 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety, 30 Days to Stop Being a Shopaholic, 30 Days to Overcome FOMO…amongst others.Please don’t forget to leave a review and let everyone know about the life-changing power of mindfulness! Also, share your experience online by using #30DaysNow, and don’t forget that each mindfulness exercise has a unique hashtag for connecting with others so that you can share your insights and favorite lessons.Don’t go another day without trying mindfulness. Live your best life possible!

An Unlikely Place for Love (Virginia Collection Book 1)

Kate Tanner is getting more than she bargained for in this "woman disguised as a man" romance. Fleeing from her parents' killers, she disguises herself as Billy Ingram and leaves the big city Virginia life to work on a remote farm out in the middle of nowhere, North Dakota where the handsome, but aloof, Chad Walker hires her as a farmhand. Between trying to prove that she can handle the more demanding farm chores and trying to fit in with the other farmhands, she has her work cut out for her. Then, one morning, Chad discovers she's a woman, so she quickly makes up the excuse that "Billy's" sister, Kate, decided to come by for a visit. That's when things really get interesting. Lacy Montgomery is in love with "Billy" and nothing disgusts the woman. The farmhands are in love with Kate. She's in love with Chad who may or may not love her back. Her brother, the real Billy, shows up and she's forced to don on another female disguise to ward off Lacy altogether. Among the laughter and constant costume changes, Kate might discover that the most unlikely place for love is the perfect place after all.

Lily Loves to Love: ROM-COM FUN FICTION

Have you ever read a book and thought I do not want the main character to end up with the predictable hero? I wish she had gotten with the other man instead. Well here is your chance to change that scenario and choose whom you would like Lily to love. In this book, many comical things tend to happen to and around Lily Lockhart. As she deals with her job, her love life and her family, not to mention her friends so like a lot of us, she is simply an ordinary woman trying to survive this modern world and not always getting it right before mistakes come back to bite her on the bum. As the quirky but loveable girl just cannot help herself sometimes. This is all before trying her hand at a spot of charity work, when she decides that life is far too short to spend it selfishly.At the start of the year, she ends her engagement and before long, there is plenty of male interest heading her way. We are talking ‘The Handsome One’ (Sean) and ‘The Funny One’ (Tom). In addition, there is also ‘The Rich One’ (Peter) but Lily cannot choose between them. Therefore, in the closing chapters, it is down to you ‘the reader’ to decide who wins Lily's heart since there is a fun multiple-choice style ending to the story. Will you pick the boyfriend, the best friend or the boss? Only one problem, she is pregnant so ‘who’s the daddy’.

Dinosaur Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids

Funny & Hilarious Dinosaur Jokes for Kids!Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body!This book is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Also available in paperback and audiobook formats!Funny dinosaur jokesExcellent for early and beginner readersHours of fun and entertainment for kids and childrenGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudFunny and hilarious dinosaur jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adultsThe Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of dinosaur and prehistoric jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically!From this Funny Joke Book...Q: What should you do when a dinosaur sneezes?A: Get out of the way!HAHA!Q: What was the most flexible dinosaur?A: Tyrannosaurus Flex!LOL!Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?A: Because the chicken wasn’t invented yet!HAHA!Q: What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?A: Bronco-saurus!LOL!Q: What do you get when you cross a bomb and a dinosaur?A: Dino-mite!Funny Dinosaur Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children)Your prehistoric friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This awesome collection of dinosaur jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about dinosaurs of all shapes and sizes will make make you go wild with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king!Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your paws on a copy today!

Love Love

**AMAZON BESTSELLER**Gabrielle Willis is smart. She's funny. And oh yes, she's a bit klutzy.When Gabrielle left sunny California bound for the energy of Manhattan, she was willingly leaving the life she had known for the new life she would create. But was she really leaving something behind or was she running away?On the outside, Gabrielle Willis has it all under control. A new life in Manhattan, a great roommate, and a good job. But she is haunted. Haunted by a memory she's tried to forget and by a family who's abandoned her. But what happens when what's on the outside is only an illusion and in perfect contradiction to what's buried deep within?Enter Dane Rhodes. He's gorgeous, smart, and sexy as hell. Just what Gabby wants, or so she thinks. But when she meets Brad Dixon, the sweet guy with the crooked smile, he begins to make her see that the very thing she is trying to run from is the very thing that just may push her to see the light.**This book contains mature language and sexual content and is only recommended for readers 17 and older. Chick lit with a quirky heroine and emotion.

101+ Knock Knock Jokes for Kids: Hilarious and Funny Jokes

101+ Funny Knock Knock Jokes for KidsJoke telling is very fun and can bring a smile to the face of others. Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children.Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment.This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home and school!101+ funny knock knock jokesExcellent for early and beginning readersGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudFunny jokes from this book...Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door!Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door!Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here?Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day!Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children)This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning.Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie LightningArnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity!Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes!

French Travel Memoirs - More Than A Year In Provence - Endless Tour de France Travel: Paris,French Riviera,Cote d'Azur,Bordeaux,Burgundy,French Cuisine

Praise for More Than A Year In Provence “I wish you tremendous success” Guy Kawasaki Author of APE, Enchantment, What The Plus.“Christopher's truly unique adventures cycling the backroads of France are a must read for anyone who's ever dreamed of a French country life. I just hope his sequel will reveal where his paradise village is!” Robert Reid Reid on Travel, Lonley Planet, New York Times“If it's true that travel broadens, this book will give you a 360° view of authentic French Country Life.” Jeff Steiner Americans in France,Live in FranceFRANCE TRAVELPeter Mayle started it all with "A Year in Provence." Inspiring Rick Steves, the Lonely Planet crew and all the France Travel Guidebook creators that were to follow.One guy who was not influenced by these fine folks, was the Author of this book. Simply because, at that time, he didn't know they existed!But not to worry. San Francisco Film Maker Christopher Strong had his own "Tour de France" dream. To spontaneously cycle the French Country backroads. With no fixed itinerary. Tasting the land and the people as well as the food and wine.FRANCE FOR DUMMIES And so finally, after a week of irregular and informal French Lessons from a Dutch friend, with no regard for the niceties of French Grammar, Christopher's French Vocabulary was limited to five words: "hello", "goodbye", "please", "thank you", and the essential "where's the toilet?"FRENCH KISSIn spite of, or perhaps because of his lack of French Language smarts, with no butt saving French Phrasebook, Christopher's first "Tour de France" was a resounding personal success. Even on the French Riviera!FRANCE TRAVEL GUIDE - MORE THAN A YEAR IN PROVENCEInspired by the overwhelming hospitality lavished upon him, Christopher decided to return and film his next adventure. He did. And he continued, year after year. Until finally he had an up close and personal lifestyle/adventure series - "Bicycle Gourmet's Treasures of France." An authentic view of France Today.FRENCH HISTORY After seeing the first results of Christopher's "Tour de France" filming, his friends, not suprisingly, suggested he write a book. Not a book on French Cooking or (shudder) French Diet mind you, but a "behind the scenes" account of his filming adventures. And his many encounters with French Wine.More Than A Year In that book.

Work Wife Balance (Kate King Series Book 1)

'This is well-written, very funny and I raced through it, occasionally squealing in horror at the antics of Kate’s colleagues. It’s also a joy to read about a strong woman with a big job and fiery opinions, a nice antidote to the sugary sweet sort of chick lit.' DAILY MAILKate King is furiously flailing to keep afloat. As her team bicker, finger-point and cheat their way through rumours of sackings and site closures, her ill-tempered husband is becoming increasingly embittered and secretive. Kate knows she must address his petulant question: “Surely there’s more to life than this?” but all her energies are required to dodge the corporate bullets constantly fired in her direction.Under pressure from an attractive, younger colleague, Kate is also concerned by her sudden invisibility to the opposite sex and the alarming appearance of back fat. Disturbingly, beige knitwear has started to call to her from the shelves of M&S.Growing more and more suspicious of her husband’s activities, pressure builds on Kate both at work and at home until her turbulent year reaches its climactic end. Can she continue to balance precariously between work and marriage, or is one end of the scales going to hit the ground with a resounding thud?

The Making of a Super Bowl Champion: 9 Super Hardcore Sex Humiliation and Parody Etotic Stories Bundle

ContentsCyberPartners1o's Weekend on a Leash44Shannon and the Milgram Experiment131The homeless and poor peoples winter feast224The Making of a Super Bowl Champion288Miss Harcourt's Guardian399Buns of Steel523Two Of A Kind595Monarch of the Glen628

Sassy, Single, and Satisfied: Secrets to Loving the Life You're Living

A brand-new cover on this bestselling book (over 200,000 copies sold!) will capture the attention of readers. Countering media messages that say happiness equals being in relationships with men, Michelle McKinney Hammond encourages singles to get busy living a life that blesses others and enriches their single experience.Always upbeat, always biblical, Michelle reveals how to find fulfillment now, including getting fit spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Readers will discover how to…squeeze the most out of being singleprepare their hearts, minds, and souls for matesbe wise about the man thinghave their deepest desires and needs metget their priorities in orderPacked with lively stories, wisdom for handling real-life situations, and a host of secrets for living life to the fullest, Sassy, Single, and Satisfied gives readers insights on life, love, men, happiness, and God’s love for them.

Sweet Rivals, Hate You, Love You ( Book 1) - An Enemies-To-Lovers Small-town Romance

A Mya Grey's new young adult clean romance. You will fall in love with this second chance  sweet small-town romance. From  enemies to lovers. Can a childhood rivalry revive their passion after so many years apart? You can hate somebody with a passion, but passion comes in many forms. Noah Snipe lives the life of a brazen man riddled with over-confidence -and why shouldn’t he, with such suave brown hair and daring green eyes.Noah and Lexi hated each other with a passion. Unbeknownst to the two, passion comes in many forms. Their rivalry starts with toy mishap in the sandpit as children. As the pair grows, it becomes a habit to get under each other’s skin, to battle, to slump and thrive at the hand of one another’s competition, until she kissed him a week before graduation ..and said it was a mistake.  8 years later....Out of nowhere, she came smacking into him. Now that rigid but pretty face stared at him from every angle of his mind. It seeped into his brain and he couldn’t think of anything else.  This time, Noah will make sure nothing can come between the two of them .. except ..  WARNING: CLIFFHANGER IN THE END

Soul Love: A Day In The Life (Soul Love Series Book 0)

Seven people, twenty-four hours... shall we get acquainted?From the author of the brilliant "SHOOTING STAR" series, comes a new drama - "SOUL LOVE"Jimmy is out of luck and out of work but he has love in his soul. He's been knocked to the canvas so many times he's lost count, but he refuses to stay down.With friends he can rely on, his trusty camera and a lust for living, Jimmy's life is about to take a detour.Victoria is rich, privileged, and bored. She constantly clashes with her powerful and unloving father. Her mother is distant and self-absorbed. Love, in her aristocratic family, is just another four-letter word. She has everything—apart from the one thing she craves, yet fears, most of all.Advantage and disadvantage are on a collision course. For Jimmy and Victoria, the end is just the beginning.Seven people – one day - because you'll see everything in a different light."This was a fantastic read, I highly recommend it. I love looking at people through Simon Northouse's eyes. He has a great sense of humor with an underlying thread of irony.""Beautifully written, and brimming with realism and humour. This new group of diverse characters has already ensnared me and I am slavering to read the next book in the series.""It’s 1983, a very hard time politically and sociologically in Great Britain. Into this mess of a world, we are introduced to nine memorable characters with snippets of their lives: from the privileged to those financially skint we see them all circle around Jimmy- the photographer. How will their lives change?…for better…for worse…stay the same?""After loving my way through the Shooting Star series, my opinion was that Simon Northouse should be bottled and sold in supermarkets everywhere. I take it back. He should just be sold EVERYWHERE!""The Soul Love series has kicked off with a bang... can barely wait for the follow-up books!"From the author of the successful SHOOTING STAR series, a brand new saga - SOUL LOVE.SOUL LOVE SERIES Prequel: Soul Love – A Day In The LifeBook 1: Love Is The GoalBook 2: Love On A Roll

151+ Funny Blonde Jokes: Funny Dumb Blonde Jokes

The Funniest Blonde Jokes in the World!Did you know that laughing can have a positive physical and mental effects on the body! Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today!151+ funny blonde jokesHilarious blonde insults and humorHours of funny jokes and entertainmentAre you looking for funny and hilarious blonde jokes?With this MASSIVE collection of funny blonde jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny blonde jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.Uses for funny jokes...Can aid in storytellingGreat for conversation startersImproves conversation and social skillsCan make others laugh, smile, and be more playfulCan lighten tense moods and create repoire with othersLaugh until it hurts...Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?A: Someone said that the drinks were on the house.Funny Blonde Jokes!Q: How would a blonde kill a fish?A: She would try to drown it.HAHA!Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?A: Put her in front of a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say hello.Funny Blonde Jokes!Q: Why don't blondes like audio-books?A: There are no pictures.HAHA!Q: What is dumber than the blonde jokes above?A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.Funny Blonde Jokes!LOL Funny Jokes ClubThe LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Laugh until it hurts!Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!Tags: blonde jokes, blonde joke book, blonde joke books, funny blonde jokes, blond, blonds, blonde jokes ebook, ebook, ebooks, books, jokes, blondes, blonde, kindle joke book, kindle books, funny jokes, book, comedy, funny, humor, kindle ebooks, club, dirty jokes, adult jokes, lol jokes, haha, funny joke book, funny joke books, funny jokes, hilarious, ebook, ebooks, blonde jokes, laugh, laughter, laughing, funny books, e books, ebook download, jokes, joke book, funny jokes, funny joke books

Deena's Helpful Tail: 7 Super Hardcore Sex Humiliation and Parody Etotic Stories Bundle

ContentsDeena's Helpful Tail1Sha'ana, the Sheik, and Saladin34Ready to Play?71But I Just Thought You Boys Wanted Some Lemonade109The Hacked Prisoner142The [email protected] Run176The Adventures of Karen537

Mouse Jokes!: Funny Mouse Jokes for Kids (Funny Jokes for Kids)

Funny Mouse Jokes for Kids!Joke telling is very fun and can bring a smile to the face of others. Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes about mice! Also includes vibrant and cute illustrations for early readers.KINDLE UNLIMITED & AMAZON PRIME can read this book for FREE!Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny mouse joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment.This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.Special Note: The illustrations in the book are optimized for a vivid and colorful experience in e-readers, tablets, phones, and computers!Jokes from this funny book...Q: How does a mouse feel after taking shower?A: Squeaky clean!HAHA!Q: How did the mouse make gold soup?A: She puts in 14 carrots!LOL!Q: Why do mice have long tails?A: Because they would look funny with long legs!HAHA!Q: How do mice celebrate a new home?A: Mouse warming party!LOL!Q: When should a mouse carry an umbrella?A: When it is raining cats and dogs!HAHA!Funny and hilarious mouse jokesExcellent for early and beginning readersVery colorful and cute illustrations for viewingHours of fun and entertainment for your childGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudBONUS INCLUDED! --> FREE Membership to Uncle Amon's Book Club!This funny joke book is full of hilarious mouse jokes! These funny jokes will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about mice and rodents will have you rolling in laughter for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning.Scroll up and click 'buy' to get the hilarious joke collection!100% Money Back GuaranteeTags: funny mouse jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, mouse, mice, cheese, rodents, mouse book, mice jokes book, ebook, mouse books, funny, mouse jokes, animal book, animal books for kids, animal books for children, animal jokes, ebooks, cheese jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, chicken books, baby mouse, cheese, books for kids, mice, childrens book, mouse books, mouse books, funny, haha, funny mouse jokes, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, lol, funny joke book, book about mouse, kindle book, kindle ebook, jokes online, comedy, mouse books for kids, mice, mouse, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughing, kids comedy

Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: A Crudely Fractured Fairy Tale (Funny Stories for Kids Book 1)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it.Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had an MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and may be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

Murder At The Grotto: A Bella Tyson short story (The Bella Tyson Mysteries)

All crime writer Bella Tyson wants to do is finish her Christmas shopping in peace at the exclusive London department store, Harridges. But when she sneaks into the store's world famous Santa's Grotto, she discovers something nasty under the Christmas tree...

Quinceys Quirky Quiz Books Photo Dingbats Volume One: Photo Puzzles Volume 1

If you like to watch Catchphrase, then take a look at this book of Photo Dingbats that I have created. These puzzles are known by various names such as Rebuses, Pictograms and Dingbats. They consist of a picture that represents a well known saying or word or phrase.Keep your brain active with this volume of fifty puzzles.

Fat Boy

Way out west, in the tumbling greens of England, something’s going down. Two boys attempt an escape from the clutches of their poisonous parents… A good policeman fights to sidestep the corruption that blows like hellfire down his neck… A calamitous filmmaker and her witless lead actor scramble desperately to overcome their mucky pasts and make a Hollywood hit… A trio of nude-nutted nasties thrash their way through the picturesque countryside, collecting debts but finding more than they expected… Then there’s Captain Grubbe: the eminent, manipulative and falsely titled antichrist. He hosts a spectacular annual Christmas party, and this year’s is set to be even more extraordinary than usual.Fat Boy is a treacherously fictitious rhapsody, taking a tongue-in-cheek look at the best and the worst of humanity and treating it with the disrespect it deserves - love and hate, corruption and extortion, car chases, gunfights and high jinks, all set against the green and pleasant landscapes of the English countryside. It is ludicrous. It is raucous. It is a modern classic."Fat Boy really was something else; refreshing, different and quintessentially British. I will certainly be following this author with some interest in the future." - Grant Leishman, Readers’ Favorite"The best thing about this book is the descriptions the author employs to create character and scene. It is so scrumptious that I found myself lost in its delicacy and sad when it had gone." - Nicole Howard, Writer's Digest

Text Fails : Hilarious Collection of Autocorrect Bloopers, Super Funny Texting Mishaps, and Comedic Chats That Will Make You Crack With Laughter

Yearning for Some Laughter and Humor in Your Life? Text Fails by Robert Thornton Will Surely Get You a Brand-New Six-Pack from All Laughing!Open the way for laughter – forget about boredom because this book brings endless hours of fun and humorous texts.Since texting was invented, most people scarcely have the opportunity to check their writings before sending, particularly in forcing circumstances or while drunk. That's why autocorrect is a great tool; it helps us avoid blatant mistakes we make while texting and saves us from embarrassment when we are not sure how to spell certain words – until it does the opposite.Some people swear that autocorrect has a one-of-a-kind method to make diverting and off-kilter changes to individual writings, possibly because their word reference file has a way of indicating their shrewd recommendations in a senseless manner.You expect autocorrect to save you, but instead, it gets you in huge trouble – fired from your job, for example. So be careful with autocorrect, but for now, enjoy the funniest compilation of text fails that got other users in some humorous situations.Here is what this text fails compilation can offer you:Endless hours of fun and laughterPerfect way to escape boredomFunny text fails between family membersBoyfriend and girlfriend text failsAutocorrect fails that got someone in troubleAnd much more!If you want to escape boredom and have endless hours of fun, then this is the perfect book for you. So what are you waiting for? Open the way for humor and laugher…Scroll up, click on "Buy Now with 1-Click", and Get Your Copy Now!

HeartSnark: A literally light-hearted account of my heart transplant, or Shakespearean strippers, bison meatloaf, and urinal harems!

FREE February 24-28, 2021, in honor of Rare Disease Day.Finalist, 2020 Next Generation Indie Awards, Humor.Finalist, 2021 Reader's Choice Book Awards, Memoir.The most hilarious heart transplant memoir you'll read this year! (probably ever)In late March 2019, high school English teacher Terry Kroenung rode a quick 10 miles on his bike. 10 days later he had an emergency heart transplant. Really. Imagine his surprise. Based on the irreverent Facebook diary he kept during the ordeal, this memoir recounts his experiences with near-fatal pacemaker implantations, defibrillation scorch marks, 7-hour cardiac ablations, surgical staples, and the up-and-down recovery process. Along the way are 6 pregnant nurses, Canadian axe throwers, alien face-huggers, shopping bags full of exorbitantly-priced drugs, and the most horrifying photo of a dead heart that even the doctors had ever seen. If he hadn’t gone to the Emergency Room purely to avoid a faculty meeting, somebody else would have written this book. There he was told that despite the 100-mile bike rides and 10K races, he had heart failure. Again, imagine his surprise (and epic denial). What followed was a confusing frenzy of tests: treadmill stress, VO2 stress, enough blood samples to fill a tanker truck, and 3 radiation tests to finally get a reading, which, naturally, turned out to be wrong. But at least after that last one, he didn’t need a nightlight anymore. To keep himself -- and his shell-shocked wife, family, and friends -- from dwelling on the life-or-death enormity of it all, he used Facebook to keep a running diary of everything that happened, no matter how trivial or absurd. His snarky, pun-strewn and geeky commentary on events, as well as more dubiously-termed ‘wit’ that he added after the fact (essentially playing Mystery Science Theatre with himself), make up the book that you’re somehow still reading about. A portion of the proceeds of this book will go to benefit Donor Alliance and their life-saving work increasing the supply of transplant organs.

Easter Cookie: A Frenemies to Lovers Romantic Comedy (A Year In Love Book 1)

Sinful weekends in Vegas have never been this fun.NatalieThinking outside the box has gotten my business to the top. Few companies can put together an event with the jaw-dropping quality I deliver. I'll be damned if I let Mr. Stephen Know-it-All Clark steal this potential client from me. We might have this 'frenemies with benefits' thing going, but I'll outbid his proposal and kick his perfect behind without breaking my stride.Or my designer stilettos.All I've got to do is not get distracted by his rippling six-pack.That should be easy.Right?Yeah, right.SteveGetting the Sexy & Sinful Spa & Resort account is the difference between expanding or filing for bankruptcy. My partner has just visited the resort. She made personal connections with the general manager and brought back invaluable suggestions. We've put together the perfect proposal and a killer presentation. What could go wrong?Famous last words.All I've got to do is not get distracted by Ms. Natalie Todeschini. Too bad her curves have been my downfall since high school.Too darn distracting.That should be easy.Right?Yeah, right.What if what happens in Vegas doesn't stay there?Download today the first installment in this delicious new series and find out if Natalie and Steve survive Easter weekend in Sin City.Easter Cookie - Book #1 in the brand-new A Year in Love Series. Sexy Romantic Comedy stories that will have you curl your toes and split your side._________________________________Check out these other books by USA Today bestselling author Liz Gavin:Knight’s Edge Series – Rock Star romanceTristanNoahAidanDukeKnight's Edge Collection - 4 full-length novels in one boxed setLuck Series – Suspenseful RomanceLuck of the IrishSt. Patrick’s LuckSexy & Sinful Series - Steamy Contemporary RomanceOur Valentine (Reverse Harem)A Year in Love - Steamy Short StoriesEaster CookieCookie WarsFirecracker CookieThankful Cookie – coming out in November 2020Highland Celts Series – Fantasy RomanceCeltic Fire

Dog Jokes: Funny Jokes for Kids

100+ Funny and Hilarious Dog Jokes for Kids!Joke telling is very fun and can bring a smile to the face of others. Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in storytelling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean jokes about dogs and puppies.Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with this funny dog joke book. Beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. Also available in paperback and audiobook formats!Jokes from this funny book...Q: Where do you usually find lost dogs?A: It all depends on where you lose them!HAHA!Q: What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?A: A bud hound!LOL!Q: What do you call a happy Lassie?A: A jolly collie!HAHA!Q: What kind of dog is a human's best friend?A: Palmation!LOL!Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the front yard?A: Put him in the backyard!HAHA!Q: Why did the dog run in circles?A: Because it is not that easy to run in squares!Funny Dog Jokes for Kids!The Funniest Dog Jokes for in the World! (Clean Jokes for Children)100+ funny dog and puppy jokesExcellent for early and beginning readersHours of fun and entertainment for your childGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudThis funny joke book is full of funny dog and puppy jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about dogs and puppies will have you laughing for hours. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning.Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your paws on this funny joke book!

Yo Mama Jokes Bible: 350+ Funny & Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes (Funny Yo Momma Jokes Book 1)

Yo Mama Jokes Bible!350+ Funny & Hilarious Yo Mama JokesYo mama is so fat…Yo mama is so skinny…Yo mama is so old…Yo mama is so tall…Yo mama is so short…Yo mama is so stupid…Yo mama is so poor…Yo mama is so ugly…Yo mama is so bald…Yo mama is so hairy…Yo mama is so lazy…Other Yo mama jokes…ALL NEW YO MAMA JOKES!Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Christmas wrap was Snoop Dogg’s new song!Yo mama is so fat… she posted a picture on Instagram and it crashed!Yo mama is so tall… Shaq looks up to her!Yo mama is so ugly… she looks like she has been bobbing for apples in hot grease!Yo mama is so skinny… when she wears skinny jeans, they look like bell-bottoms!Yo mama is so old… she has an autographed Bible!Yo mama is so short … you can see her feet on her driver’s license!Yo mama is so hairy… that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!Yo mama is so fat… she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad!Yo mama is so stupid… she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth!Yo mama is so old… her memory is in black and white!Yo mama is so poor… she put a Happy Meal on layaway!Yo mama is so ugly… she’s the reason blind dates were invented!Yo mama is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag!Yo mama is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind!Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. LaughingThe Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of yo mama jokes!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically!Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!

Contaminated Samples

A free sampler containing the outrageous first chapters from Frankie’s three books My Shit Life So Far, Work! Consume! Die! and Scotland’s Jesus. Perfect for when you want to feel deeply offended.MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR: 'I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking "Why would anyone want to know this shit?" I've always read them thinking "I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!"'So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it.WORK! CONSUME DIE!: Stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell.SCOTLAND’S JESUS: Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

The Sparrow (The Returned Series)

In Jason Mott’s haunting and unforgettable debut novel, The Returned, an impossible miracle is occurring all across the globe.This is Part 2 in the exciting and much anticipated prequels to Jason Mott’s The Returned.Praise for Jason Mott–‘With fine craftsmanship and a deep understanding of the human condition, Jason Mott has woven a tale that is in turns tragic and humorous and terrifying’ – Eowyn Ivey, Author of The Snow Child –‘Fantastically readable’ – The Times–‘Could be the next Lovely Bones’ – Entertainment Weekly–‘Fantastically readable’ – The Times–‘Gripping’ – Shortlist–'Mott tackles some big themes here, especially the vagaries of spirituality, and scores with one of the most emotionally resonant works in many seasons' – Essence Magazine–'It will…make you question what it means to be human and what you'd do in a similar situation' – The Sun–'Get in early before the hype begins' – Star Magazine–'The Returned transforms a brilliant premise into an extraordinary and beautifully realized novel. My spine is still shivering from the memory of this haunting story. Wow.' -Douglas Preston, #1 bestselling author of The Monster of FlorenceThis is the beginning of the ReturnedPart 1 – The FirstPart 2 – The SparrowPart 3 – The ChoiceThe Returned

Can We Milk It?: YES WE HAVE! (World of Cow)

A collection of 250 World of Cow cartoons from 2010-11

Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb (A Zombie Apocalypse Novel Book 1)

When life gives you lemons, kill zombies -- turns out lemon juice neutralizes the undead.After a failed attempt at running away, best friends Nathan and Misty return home expecting to face angry parents. Instead, they discover the military has destroyed the bridges out of their rural town and everyone's fled--except a small horde of the living dead. The stress of flesh-eating zombies may be more than their already strained relationship can handle.Even with the help of the town geek and lemonade-powered Super-Soakers, there's not enough time to squeeze their way out of this sticky mess. Unless the trio eradicates the zombie infestation, while avoiding the deadly zombie snot, the military will blow the town, and them, to pulp. Their only shot is something with a lot more punch. Something like the Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb. But even if their friendship survives, there's another problem: Someone has to lure the undead into the trap.The reviews are in and Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb is a must read:"I could not put this book down. I really hate reading, but this book I could read 1000 times..." 5-Stars --A kid review from Campermaniac"The entire book is a joy to read, and it's hard to put down, too!" 5-Stars --JJ, Amazon Vine Top 500 Reviewer"Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb is a quick, fun read filled with humour and zombie slaying action that I'm sure all ages will enjoy." --Ken, Paperless Reading Blog"SUPER ZOMBIE JUICE MEGA BOMB was a fun, fast pace, unique read that I look forward to reading more from the author and MUST have a sequel. I would sell a blue smurf for a sequel to this book." 5-Stars --Gothical Book Reviews"The adventure was suspenseful and page turning, mixed with a great deal of humor. It was like reading a book about my sixteen-year-old daughter!" --Jennifer, Goodreads Reviewer"This book was the perfect blend of 'B movie' humor and the zombie gore I love... I loved this book!" 5-Stars --Angela Fristoe, Author of Songbird"The humor is what really caught my attention when I started reading SZJMB, and the action kept me engaged to the end. should engage even the most reluctant of readers." --Manga Maniac Cafe"I read it all in one day. Very rare that I say I couldn't put the book down. I did not sleep until I finished reading it. I'd recommend this book to anyone (above 10 years of age) even if you're not into zombies." 5-Stars --David Santos, author of The Hopeless ChristianticIncludes two free short stories.Print version is approximately 204 pages (40,000 words).Parents note: This book contains no cursing or strong language, and no explicit gore or violence. However, scenes of intense zombie action may be disturbing to younger readers.Punctuation in some reviews may be corrected.

Jenny Learns Her Place: 13 Super Hardcore Sex Humiliation and Parody Etotic Stories Bundle

ContentsHelga's Hydronic Torture Machine1War and Peace62Jenny Learns Her Place114Diary164Gaining The Upper Hand216Monique's New Friends Are Hard to Loose253Crimson and Blue293Pleasing Nathan342Submissive Secrets384Bounties of the Sea425Let's Play Tresspassers538Getting even with Mary Anne569Ladies Room Slave661

Episode Bad Love: A Romance Novel, Alpha Male Insta Love Series (Medical Billionaires Series Book1)

Romance Book "Bad Love" Alpha Male Insta Love Series by Best Selling Author Lauren Snow! PROMO for LIMITED timeBad LoveTrey Frances (32) is the incredibly good-looking, but spoiled and fickle heir of a prominent real estate tycoon. He’s got a bit of a temper on him. But that hardly gets in the way of him charming the panties off of women he comes across. His spell works on most ladies. Others, not so much. And Rheese Armitage (28) falls in the second category. Rheese is a no-nonsense, laser-focused junior college student who is concerned about one thing and one thing only: becoming a doctor. She’s interning at Durham-Nguyen General Hospital while waitressing at a local bistro to get through school and make ends meet. The doctors she shadows praise her for her hard work. She’s thriving and getting along well with the patients she’s assigned. That is until the suave, assertive Trey Frances winds up under her care after a nasty bar brawl. A broken rib, a split brow and a black eye were the souvenirs he brought with him. While he’s being nursed back to health, Trey gives Rheese a hard time, truly testing her patience. He makes several passes at her which she boldly denies. She’s iron clad. There is no getting through to her it seems. But when she ends up on the verge of getting evicted from her place, she melts into the most vulnerable thing there ever was. She doesn’t want to ask for help. But Trey is worth billions and he’s just within arm’s reach. All she has to do is ask. You’re too pretty to be so uptight, he says. I know you’ve got something heavy on your mind. Just talk to me.Trey’s words make her cave. She tells him everything. And to her surprise, he offers to help. But what are the are condition? he tells her there are.Rheese’s heart races. What is he going to ask me to do?Free Books and more updates >>> <<< Discount Promo Limited Time

Trump Drumpf: A Novel

So Much Can Change in Seven Short Years…President Trump and Vice President Facebook scramble in 2023 to hang onto power. Both the man and the corporation have different ideas on how to cling onto control.Meanwhile, in Chinese Detroit, Buckeye Jones, one of the last remaining human journalists, learns the deal President Trump made with China is not a good one.As the world reels from the chaos caused by seven years of lunacy, the survival of humankind depends on an unlikely cast of characters and corporations.

Hot Shots FC

This is the first book in the 'stupidly funny' football series, Hot Shots FC. It is for children aimed 6-12 who like football, or being silly, or laughing out loud again and again!It follows the fortunes of Hat Trick Boy, who is selected to join local side Hammers FC. But there is a problem: his friends aren’t picked. So Hat Trick Boy has to choose between his friends and his football, and he makes a mistake. He deserts his friends and decides to join the rather rough Hammers FC. But he doesn't know his friends are about to set up the greatest junior football club ever, Hot Shots FC...

The Best of Laugh Yourself Silly Jokes for Kids Sampler: Children's Juvenile Humor Ages 6-14 Riddles Knock-Knock Jokes

LAUGH YOURSELF SILLY is just what this book will do to readers, with a ton of jokes and hysterical illustrations, there's something for every kid ages 6-14! This 70-page book features samples from some of the best jokes from each book in the series: jokes for kids, knock-knock, spooky, sports, school, holidays, animals, food, funny situations & more, Plus--new, original jokes you won't find in other joke books! Sign up at the author's website,, to get the full book - free! Get info about upcoming titles in the series.

The CEO of the Cockpit

An old, fictional airline captain pontificates about the issues of the early days after 911. Have things changed much since then in the flying word? Nope. Join the CEO of the Cockpit as he entertains and makes flying a long leg with him entertaining and witty.

100 Best Jokes: Family Edition

One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes !Have fun and laugh!

Funny Things: A Joke Book With a Few Sombre Yarns

This is the first joke book in the A Joke Book With a Few Sombre Yarns series – original content throughout. Each book focuses on a particular subject and does a great job of making its author laugh and cry – not bad for a man who knows nothing about comedy or tragedy. Man-made things... Cancel that! Woman-made things... Cancel that! Things and places that are made and arranged by human beings – the author guarantees he will review the status of “human beings” every week, or every day rather, to insure it maintains a satisfactory approval rating – will be the focus of this book. Phew!

Return to Kenya

A mini safari, an uneatable cucumber, a tear an unvitation and the sheer joy of travelling. All the more delicious for being a surprise invitation to Susie's favourite country in the world: her beloved Kenya.International book tours are an unheard-of dream for most authors. But after the ecstatic reception of her safari memoir Safari Ants, Baggy Pants & Elephants, Susie is over the moon to find herself returning to her beloved Kenya to launch the African edition in Africa's largest chain of bookshops, Text Book Centre, Nairobi.Although her surprise trip is a huge success, this is Susie Kelly, and her magical week in Kenya isn't without mishap, even if she does remember her bras this time. 'It does something to you, this infinite space, so tranquil on the surface, yet so teeming with life. You feel at once insignificant and amazing, just for being here. I wanted to hold out my arms and gather it all in, hold it pressed to my heart, never let it go. I wanted to lay it softly between sheets of tissue and put it in a drawer to be brought out and stroked every day. I wanted to bottle it in a crystal jar and place it on a sunny windowsill to be forever in my sight. This magnificent, beautiful country, birthplace of mankind, owner of my heart...'Praise for Susie Kelly's Safari Ants, Baggy Pants & Elephants'I’ve just been on a wonderful safari trip to Kenya! At least that’s how it felt.' Mrs Bloggs Books'One of the best travel books I have read to date. I thoroughly enjoyed reading every drop of it.' – Vine Voice Reviewer'There are a handful of authors who achieve that elusive trick of making you laugh out loud. For me it’s James Herriot, Bill Bryson and Susie Kelly.' – French Entrée Magazine'Susie is a great ambassador for Kenya. The best safari experience you are likely to get, without going on safari!' French Village Diaries'No bras and makeup! I adore reading Susie's books, so full of humour and everyday hiccups!' Goodreads

101+ Funny Music Jokes: Hilarious Music & Musician Jokes, Comedy, Puns, and Humor

101+ Funny Music & Musician JokesDid you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body? Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today!101+ funny jokes for about musicGreat to send as text messages to friendsSilly and hilarious jokes, comedy, and humorHours of funny jokes and entertainmentWith this hilarious collection of music and musician jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.Uses for funny jokes...Can aid in storytellingGreat for conversation starters and textsImproves conversation and social skillsCan make others laugh, smile, and be more playfulCan lighten tense moods and create rapport with othersFunny Music and Musician Jokes!101+ Funny and Hilarious Jokes!The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all!Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!Tags: funny jokes, funny, music, musical, musician, music jokes, joke, blonde jokes, joke book, funny joke books, funny dirty jokes, musician jokes, silly jokes, ebook, ebooks, jokes, funny, kindle joke books, funny jokes, book, comedy, lol, jokes, funny, jokes, haha, joke, laugh, laughing, giggle, humor, comedy, uncensored, funny, humor, kindle ebooks, joke club, dirty jokes, adult jokes, funny jokes books, hilarious jokes, funny books, funny jokes, laugh, laughter, laughing, funny books, e books, ebook download, jokes, joke book, joke of the day, funny jokes, funny joke books, funny quotes, funny

The Halfshaft Games: humorous fantasy (Fantasy-Humour Series Book 3)

Humorous fantasy from the author of "Slave-Girls and Amazons" and "Cave-Trolls and Amazons".The Games have commenced. A contest of strength, of courage, of the sheer will to survive, all televised for the amusement of the viewers back at home. Pursued through the Forest by a motley collection of trolls, witches, Amazons and amorous dwarfs, Halfshaft the befuddled wizard (proud possessor of two different spells) runs for his life. His only companion is Cherry, his narcissistic team-mate, whose principal achievement is proving that you don't need music to twerk. Together, they attempt to survive against all the Games can throw at them. Which is difficult, in a wizard's robes and sandals. Colourful humorous fantasy/parody for adults.

Seriously Stupid Criminals

Can you drive a Hummer to pick up your welfare check, or text your parole officer asking for illegal drugs? Unfortunately, these criminals did. While researching her other true crime books, Synova was indicated with seriously stupid criminal stories. She collected these humorous stories and shared them with her readers. Enjoy true crime at it's most hilarious level.

The Noble Guardian (FREE PREVIEW) (The Bow Street Runners Trilogy Book 3)

FREE EXTENDED PREVIEW A Cross-Country Trip through Regency England Brings Intrigue, Rogues, and High Adventure  The must-read conclusion to Michelle Griep’s Bow Street Runners Trilogy: Life couldn’t be better for Abigail Gilbert—but it’s been a long time coming. Having lived with a family who hated her, love is finally within reach. Abby sets off on a journey across England to marry one of the most prestigious gentleman bachelors in the land—until highwaymen upset her plans and threaten her life.   Horse patrol captain Samuel Thatcher arrives just in time to save Abby. But to him she’s simply another victim in a job he’s come to despise. Tired of the dark side of humanity, he intends to buy land and retire.   Abby pleads with him to escort her on the rest of her journey. He refuses until she offers him the thing he desperately needs to achieve his goal: money. Delivering her safely will earn him more than enough to settle into a quiet life. So begins an impossible trek for the cynical lawman and the proper lady. Each will be indelibly changed by the time they reach her betrothed, if they don’t kill one another first—or fall in love.

A Lonely Dog on Christmas

Christmas Day is fast approaching. For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember. A Lonely Dog on Christmas is not intended for children and contains language unsuitable for young readers. 

Drag the Man Down (George Sisco Book 1)

When the drinks are flowing and the money’s good, crime is one temptation George Sisco finds hard to resist...After three years behind bars in a Rhode Island state prison, all George wants is to live a somewhat normal life. Maybe he'll meet a nice the restaurant he always talked about in the yard.But after a couple of beers and a half bottle of bourbon, George heads out in the middle of the night and breaks into a local boxer’s home. He walks out six minutes later with a championship belt and a box full of cash he found bolted to the bottom of the bed.When he meets Sam, a pretty waitress working her way through school at the diner, George promises himself he's done with crime...and the only life he's known will be a thing of the past.If it were only so easy…The floodgates open when George runs into some old friends. Violence and double-crossing follows when a simple plan goes a little too far. And every move they make drags them deeper into a hole they can't seem to escape. With the cops on their tail, it’ll take everything George has to find a way out of a bad situation that only gets worse... But what if one more crime's the answer?***Drag the Man Down is part of a two-book "series" but can be read as a stand-alone. Book two will be released in August 2020.***

Cave-Trolls and Amazons: humorous fantasy (Fantasy-Humour Series Book 2)

Two cobbled-together armies square up across the Forest battlefield, ranks of trolls and wizards lining up against a host of witches, Sirens and Amazons. But they are fighting a war neither side can hope to win.Only a handful of people stand between them and oblivion, each of whom has problems of their own.Halfshaft, a failed wizard, enlists the help of a gigantic cave-troll in his quest, but his hopes of saving the world are severely dented when he discovers his "ferocious" companion has a lucky handkerchief.Takina, a blonde Amazon in the tiniest of fur bikinis, has been abducted by trollesses and set to reluctant work at a desert sex-slave market. But when the camp is besieged, she suspects that she may have bitten off more than she can swallow.Rod, whose dearest wish is to get back down the pub before last orders, has been co-opted on to a small but select band of witches' donkeys. But even with the help of the wizard and the Amazon, he discovers that it is hard to be heroic with a witch in the saddle."Cave-Trolls and Amazons" is a colourful and imaginative quest-fantasy romp, stuffed full of humour, adventure and squirrel-skin bikinis. Sheer unbridled escapism from the author of "Slave-Girls and Amazons".

Travels From Heart and Home: Welcome to a travel writer's world

Veteran travel writer Jules Brown – author of numerous Rough Guides – welcomes you to his world in this snapshot sample of a travel writer's life. From Africa to Australia, via Canada, Italy, Iceland and more, Jules embarks on a search for heart and home that's at once adventurous, hilarious and heartwarming. In nine beautifully written tales he sets off on his first ever Rough Guides trip to Scandinavia, goes husky-sledding in Canada and seeks out his namesake Julius Caesar in Rome. On the way he follows in the footsteps of his one-of-a-kind father – oh, and he also eats a puffin and crash-lands in Iran. Join the journey and enjoy the trip of a travel writer's lifetime.

Dog Humor: A Funny Little Book For Dog People

Dog cartoons, comics, jokes, funny top 10 lists, dog trivia and weird facts.The perfect book for dog lovers!"Oliver Gaspirtz is funnier than my dog."-Ray Lesser, Funny Times"With both wit and wisdom, Oliver Gaspirtz has a knack for capturing the joys and idiosyncrasis of pet ownership."-Donna L. Marcel, Dog World

Big Book of Nonsense Part 1

Jam-packed with the very best nonsense rhymes and tricky tongue-twisters, this wonderfully exuberant collection contains quirky, color illustrations from Colin West and lashings of his wildly wacky verse! With sections such as 'Moments with Monsters' and 'Curious Creatures' this brilliant book features poems and wordplay to satisfy nonsense-lovers everywhere!

Flushed: A funny short story (The Meantime Stories Book 1)

"I was unable to stop reading this absurd and awfully seductive tale of power, politics and poo. Most highly recommended." -Readers' Favorite (5/5 STAR REVIEW)During a summit, the President faces his biggest challenge yet: A clogged toilet. What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, drenched in Nordic Noir (human folly, plentiful abrupt deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

Art For Everyone : Humorous Poems for Adults

Funny, thoughtful, and anarchic. Bert Smith writes about everyday things and bigger societal issues with the same fearless disregard for conventional wisdom.A little gem of a book – Bert's Mum.Great fun, but I've told him to get a proper job – Bert's Dad.★ Interview with the AuthorQ - Do you have any unusual writing habits?A – I write all the time. I could be sat on a train then start writing something off the top of my head, usually in the notes on my phone. I also enjoy writing in the bath.Q – Where do you get your ideas from?A – I wake up in the early hours of the morning with random ideas buzzing around in my head, so, I write them down and come back to them later. I also get ideas from conversations with friends, films, and listening to people speak in the supermarket! This book has poetry about art, poems about brothers, poetry about the sea, a poem about a serial killer's drawers, spray tans, etc… I have lots of weird and wonderful ideas.Q – Why should readers give this book a try?Because it's interesting, funny, and doesn't take itself too seriously.You don't have to be into Da VinciRaphael or Van Goghsunflowers aren't for everyone believe me I knowmaybe you appreciate a poem or verseyou may even appreciate Banksy's mural of a nurseyou can find art anywhere if you look closely enoughin the design of a caran unmade bedor a designer shirtyou could produce a piece of artas individual as your thoughtsput it down on paper or scrawl a wall in chalkan outlet for the mind is good for mental healthit serves as a distraction from the chaos in the worldI wouldn't be surprised if there's a piece of art in youit could be a drawinga sculptureor a collage stuck with glue✓ Give this unique collection of poetry a try today.

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: A Star Wars Parody

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.Double the excitement.Triple the laughs.Paintbrush illustrations.This is...Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Taking Off

A few years after graduating college, Ty was fed up with "working" and "acting responsibly like every other adult is expected to," and chose instead to quit his job and backpack across Europe and Asia. Taking Off is the mostly true memoir of his trip.Yes, this may come as a shock, but a twenty-something wrote about his experiences travelling. Kind of like when Ashley from HR sent you the link to her vacation blog. The differences being that this book is longer, has less pictures of Ashley in a bikini, and gives you no real obligation to read it since you'll never bump into Ty in the break room where he'll ask you how you liked it. But regardless of obligation, you can still appreciate this book, as it consists of several humorous, interesting, and worthwhile anecdotes that are way more interesting than anything that self-absorbed narcissist Ashley could ever write.This book is completely, 100% free. So if you're interested, give it a read. If you like it, tell a friend about how good it was. If you don't like it, lie to an enemy about how good it was. Either way, make sure to flaunt the book's completion to someone. You're literate for God's sake, and the contemptible people with whom you surround yourself need to be made aware of your superiority.

The Ridiculously Divine Comedy: A Sample of True Tall Tales

Laugh-Out-Loud Faith!Looking for tall tales to tickle your funny bone and encourage you in God's purpose and calling? Then you will love this ebook-only sample of true stories from actor and comedian Torry Martin! Whether dealing with pythons in South Africa, Toto the puppet in Seattle, or reindeer in Alaska, Torry shares his blunders and the life lessons they've taught him along the way. This selection of comical adventures from his books Of Moose and Men and The Call of the Mild promises laughter and inspiration, all while pointing you toward a loving, present, and personal God. Enjoy these true Torry tales in The Ridiculously Divine Comedy! "Torry is a man full of adventure with a heart for each being he finds in his path, fueled by his keen desire for God."- Tosca Lee, New York Times bestselling author

Warped: A funny short story (The Meantime Stories Book 3)

"It has to be the funniest, wackiest tale I have read in a long time." -Readers' Favorite (5/5 STAR REVIEW)In this wacky and hilarious sci-fi spoof, Captain Lisa Henderson and her 3,500 passengers on the commuter spaceship Agatha X are stuck inside a wormhole. Their safe return home may depend upon a cinnamon roll.THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, drenched in Nordic Noir (human folly, plentiful abrupt deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

The Bin and the Bomb: A Humorous Travel Story about an Apartment in Paris

Excerpted from a story included in the new collection, Porcelain Travels. Matthew's minuscule seventh-floor apartment has a top-to-bottom view of the Eiffel Tower. But it's what the little studio lacks that sets it apart. Bathing. Using the toilet. Avoiding hypothermia. Matthew quickly finds that daily living poses highly unusual challenges—not the least of which being the constant threat of an explosion. A living situation that tested Matthew's resolve and made him question his sanity, it's also one he'll never forget.

The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes

A collection of the very best Yo Mama Jokes: Yo Mama So Fat, Yo Mama So Ugly, Yo Mama So Stupid and many more!

Nobody's Poodle

How could anybody abandon a dog like Gizmo … ?When loveable Labradoodle, Gizmo, is uprooted from his home in cold, grey, muddy England to start a new life in Tenerife, he’s stoic. But just when he’s learnt the local woof-speak and survived an out-of-botty experience at the vet he’s abandoned on the mean streets of Costa del Scorchio.Every day’s a struggle. His soulmate, Katie, is snatched from him. He’s captured and nearly torn apart in El Bastardo’s dog-fighting ring … But Gizmo’s a survivor. He’s a spokesmutt for the underdog and a canine philosopher.You’ll learn how his universe works. How dogs invented the internet (‘SmellNet’), email (‘SmellMail’) and wifi (‘Whiffy’). And you’ll celebrate their dogged, Zen-like stoicism in the face of human stupidity, indifference, and cruelty.With a cast of wonderful woofers and a story that’s the mutt’s nuts, NOBODY’S POODLE is the dog’s danglies of a book!

Indian Fairy Tales

This book was converted from its physical edition to the digital format by a community of volunteers. You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

Donald Trump Out of Office Countdown

It really did happen. We've got 4 years ahead of us with The Donald in the Oval Office. But hang in there—it'll be over before you know it!Since the election, many have started counting the days until the end of the presidency of the man who said, "One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government." Truer words have never been spoken. Now you can count down each and every exasperating day with this totally "yuge" Out of Office Countdown (R) filled with hilarious and less-than-hilarious WTF moments. Yes, there is hope—and now you can count down the days.

Eminently Respectable Capers

He was a university boxing champ with a bruised and battered face. But could anything have prepared young Father Sammy for his appointment as Secretary/MC to an irascible and eccentric old Cardinal?At first, his new boss seems like a shining example of childlike and bumbling innocence. But Sammy soon discovers the Cardinal has a fiendish sense of humour.When His Eminence throws the young priest into a knockout adventure of hilarious and mortifying encounters, from midnight motorbike chases to an operatic appearance and a mistaken shooting, Sammy finds himself in the match of his life.

Donald Trump Is a Tremendous President, and CNN Is a Tremendous Piece of Garbage: Deport the Crooked Media and Also Deport Mexican Illegals and Obama and People Who Prefer Fake News to Fox News

The media? The media is a joke! President Trump is doing many, many amazing things in office, and he's always sure to let us know that--but CNN, MSNBC, The New York Times, and The Washington Post don't devote themselves to telling us what Trump is telling us about Trump. Instead, they focus on distributing fake news and ludicrous views. That sums up what most people in the media do, except for those fine folks at Fox News. Aren't they great? And isn't Wolf Blitzer an idiot? He and most other journalists and analysts in the media are anti-Trump propagandists who should be replaced with Trump's Twitter. And no one knows that better than President Donald Trump and political pundit Anderson Jimmerson. Read this book and learn what makes Trump so tremendous, and what makes the media so much of a joke, and what makes Obama so much like Benedict Arnold, and what makes Hillary such a crooked lunatic.

The fishing trip that never was

It was summer 2012 in southern England. After months of solid rain I start dreaming of going sea fishing. I find by searching on Google, a stranger with a fishing boat down at Rye, a medieval fishing port on the South Coast of England. I eventually meet up with him and a friend who take me out fishing. The trip nearly ends in disaster, this is the hilarious and true story of the 'fishing trip that never was'.

Phosky and Reedox: Life As a Human Red Blood Cell

How about a humorous look at life on a microscopic level within the human body. I'm talking about the cellular level stuff! Ever wonder what it's like? Well here's your chance to observe it.

A Series of Frustrated Outbursts by a Fake Librarian

The #2 "bestselling" free book on iBooks is now available for Kindle!Library technician Roland Saint-Laurent documents the ups and downs of library work in this "hilarious" new book! This book contains a series of entries covering various aspects of his life on the job, from petty staff back-biting to lurid accounts of patron insanity. Sometimes heart-warming, but mostly prurient, you'll love spending an evening curling up with this delightful volume!

Poverty Reduction Policies and Practices in Developing Asia (Economic Studies in Inequality, Social Exclusion and Well-Being)

This book looks at the major policy challenges facing developing Asia and how the region sustains rapid economic growth to reduce multidimensional poverty through socially inclusive and environmentally sustainable measures. Asia is facing many challenges arising from population growth, rapid urbanization, provision of services, climate change and the need to redress declining growth after the global financial crisis. This book examines poverty and related issues and aims to advance the development of new tools and measurement of multidimensional poverty and poverty reduction policy analysis. The book covers a wide range of issues, including determinants and causes of poverty and its changes; consequences and impacts of poverty on human capital formation, growth and consumption; assessment of poverty strategies and policies; the role of government, NGOs and other institutions in poverty reduction; rural-urban migration and poverty; vulnerability to poverty; breakdown of poverty into chronic and transitory components; and a comparative study on poverty issues in Asia and other regions. The book will appeal to all those interested in economic development, resources, policies and economic welfare and growth.

From the Bottom Drawer of: Alan Zweibel: The Prize, The Ride Home, Sexting with Alan Dershowitz

Alan Zweibel dusts off some hilarious material written years ago that stand the test of time. An original Saturday Night Live writer, award winning author and playwright, Zweibel releases three never before published short stories: “The Prize”, “The Ride Home”, and “Sexting with Alan Dershowitz” pulled from Alan’s Bottom Drawer delivered directly to your eReader. You’ll be laughing within seconds...Okay, minutes...Okay, the next day. But that's still good, right?“One of the best comedy writers around, Alan Zweibel is my bounce guy. We’ve been friends for so long we have our own comedic shorthand. We totally get each other’s sense of humor.”– Larry David“He’s wonderfully funny and very smart and he’s a big guy, but very sensitive.” – Billy Crystal“Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world.” – Dave Barry“Read Alan Zweibel and you’ll be reminded of the likes of Robert Benchley and S.J. Perelman. You can’t help but be moved by his warmth and insight even as you laugh your ass off.” – David SteinbergABOUT THE AUTHORAn original Saturday Night Live writer who the New York Times said has “earned a place in the pantheon of American pop culture,” Alan Zweibel has won multiple Emmy, Writers Guild, and TV Critics awards for his work in television which also includes "It’s Garry Shandling’s Show", "Monk", PBS’s "Great Performances", and "Curb Your Enthusiasm".A frequent guest on talk shows such as "The Late Show with David Letterman", Alan’s many theatrical contributions include the Tony Award winning play "700 Sundays" which he collaborated on with Billy Crystal, Martin Short’s Broadway hit "Fame Becomes Me", and the off-Broadway play "Bunny Bunny – Gilda Radner: A Sort of Romantic Comedy" which he adapted from his best-selling book. Alan has written the 2006 Thurber Prize winning novel "The Other Shulman", the popular children’s book "Our Tree Named Steve", and a collection of short stories and essays titled "Clothing Optional". His humor has also appeared in such diverse publications as Esquire, The Atlantic Monthly, The New York Times Op-Ed page, The Huffington Post, and MAD Magazine. The co-writer of the screenplays for the films "Dragnet", "North", and "The Story of Us", Alan recently received an honorary PhD. from the State University of New York and in 2010 the Writers Guild, East gave him a Lifetime Achievement Award.Alan is currently working with Billy Crystal on the feature film version of "700 Sundays" to be directed by Barry Levinson, executive producing a documentary mini-series for Showtime with Steve Carell and David Steinberg and writing a novel titled "Lunatics" with Dave Barry which Putnam is publishing in January. And on the TV screen he will be appearing as a new character in the upcoming season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and in a short film for "Funny or Die".But the production that Alan is most proud of is the family he’s co-produced with his wife Robin, their children Lindsay, Sari, and Adam, Adam’s wife Cori, and grandchildren Zachary and Alexis.

Politics on the Playground, Episode One: Trump's Tantrum

***WARNING - This book is not for people with politically correct yardsticks wedged up their asses***So you just happened upon this book by chance? You loathe The Donald and you want to see him slammed in a parody. Or maybe you are Donald Trump, and you are gathering evidence for your lawsuit against me. Either way, if this is your first PJ Jones book, you should be warned: I’m rude, crude, and crap your pants funny. Depending on the size of the yardstick wedged up your ass, I may also not be funny at all, disgusting, and shameful. You are about to take a romp through some inane, low-brow prose, where most of your beloved conservative and liberal politicians will be roasted, skewed, and served up with gluten-free wasabi (sorry, Ted Cruz, but we’re fresh out of the gluten kind). In other words, if you don’t spew coffee through your nose while reading this book, YOU’RE READING IT WRONG! Sincerely, PJ* * *What critics are saying about Politics on the PlaygroundThere’s a special spot in hell for writers who parody Hillary Clinton—Madeleine Albright’s neighbor’s catIf you publish this book, PJ, I swear I’ll turn your house into a parking lot—A lawyer who claims he works for Donald Trump I think Trump should throw PJ over the wall—An unnamed source who heard it from a friend of a friend of Sean HannityThis book is a little too gay for me—Someone claiming to be Ted CruzBuy this book, and I’ll send you a free used cigar—A flasher in the Safeway parking lot claiming to be Bill Clinton


CAT BOOK is a photography book of my late nebelung ragdoll russian blue cat and her funny poses and stares. There are funny captions throughout. "Kitty" was eloquently photogenic as you will see.

The Old Spice Guys' Grooming Guidance Guide for Guys with Beards & Other Poems

The Old Spice Guys’ Grooming Guidance Guide for Guys With Beards (TOSGGGGFGWB) is an excellent piece of fan fiction for fans of facial hair and is heralded as a marketing masterpiece by the beard community.In 2018, Old Spice released their beard collection, which includes beard wash, beard conditioner, beard oil, and beard balm. The launch of this beard collection was the inspiration behind each poem and the catalyst for every feeling felt within the digital pages of this book.Each line of every poem takes a deep dive into how it feels to have a clean, soft, nourished, and sculpted beard. While this piece of literature explores the existential nuances of beard grooming, each page also acts as an educational tool to guide men through the basics of beardness.

The Punster's Pocket-book or, the Art of Punning Enlarged by Bernard Blackmantle, illustrated with numerous original designs by Robert Cruikshank

This book was converted from its physical edition to the digital format by a community of volunteers. You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.


In 2008, during the global financial crisis, Ireland, led by a disastrous government, went into financial meltdown. Here, that crazy-mad time is recalled in rhyme and song. Enjoy.

Mikey Works at the Grocery: Epiphanies, Jokes & Anecdotes from a Supermarket Associate

This is a little book of little thoughts. I work in a supermarket. When no immediate crisis is upon us, it is boring work. The mind wanders. Little stories present themselves in the behavior of our customers and our associates. Other ideas come in the course of the day's activities or as memories. This book presents little thoughts related to my job at the grocery. A previous book included those of a political nature. And a book to follow includes little thoughts of a down-homey nature.Also included are some peculiar photos from over the years that have been repurposed as jokes, mostly about myself and my work.

Snapped: A Short Story

Suchard is a wedding-and-baby photographer whose only ambition is to take better portraits. When an old client Rainer comes to him with a commission to film Rainer’s own murder, albeit faked, Suchard is understandably reluctant. However, the fee Rainer offers is impossible to refuse and Suchard finds himself in the pump-room of Rainer’s house, his camera lens protruding through a hole in the wall and a gun in his pocket. By the pool, Rainer’s wife has raised a heavy earthenware mortar over her husband’s head. What could possibly go wrong?This story first appeared in the collection Mango and Sticky Rice and Other Stories.

The Crazy Blog Book

Short and Sweet. Wild and crazy. The unfriendly truth. A book of humorous crazy but superior Blog Posts. A must read, anti-depressant. Try it you will like it.

Vox Pop

Funniest, most requested poems in this pamphlet from BBC Radio 4 regular poet Kate Fox.From small girlfriends to exercise mockers and the Glastonbury Festival where she's Poet in Residence for their website in 2013, her wordplay, wit and warmth shines through: "Funny, endearing, cynical"- Sunday Telegraph, "Funny and quirky"- Sarah Millican

Tales of Shitty Work in Spain

Are you planning to work in Spain? Apparently it is a first world country but you had better be ready to struggle with a handful of situations which unfortunately are more common than one would expect. Most of them have been first-hand experienced and the rest have been told to me by reliable shit-covered victims. Welcome to Spainstan, where shifty employers and shitty work abound. What prevails here is "menajement", a blend of Spanish menaje (household) and management which could be defined as homespun management.The tales start at the job search stage, go on with the interview and end up with being employed and fired, together with the corresponding shitty legal situations you may meet.

Are You Managing Your Website, Or Is the Web Managing You?: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.I died on October 5, 2011, at age 56, of pancreatic cancer—way too young to go.In life, I was a computing entrepreneur and inventor; and I was the co-founder, chairman, and recognizable face of the world's greatest multinational technology company. I was the man behind the astonishing success of computer animation. I did more to determine what films we watch, how we listen to music, and how we work and play than any other person on the planet.On my first job interview, I was competing against a Ph.D. in computer science and two candidates with MBAs. I had no academic credentials. But I was hired because I taught myself how to use and program a computer. My first boss told me he hired me because in the computer game, any device or program is obsolete when it first hits the showroom or the Internet. The critical key to computers is the feel that comes from trial and error, curiosity, and play. No institution of higher learning can prepare anyone to succeed in the computer game.One of the things I've always found is that you've got to start with the customer experience and work backwards to the technology. You can't start with the technology and try to figure out where you are going to try to sell it. I've made this mistake probably more than anybody else, and I've gotten the scar tissue to prove it.As I tried to come up with a strategy and a vision for manufacturing computers, I asked, "What incredible benefits can we give to the customer? Where can we take the customer? Not with "Let's sit down with the engineers and figure out what awesome technology we have, and how are we going to market that." I was described as a control freak and was known to have rejected hundreds of ideas in the quest for my idea of perfection. I frequently apologized for putting a bullet in the head of some things being working on, but I always had a larger vision. I said: "Focusing is about saying no. You've got to say no, no, no … and the result of that focus is going to be some really great products where the total is much greater than the sum of the parts."This inspired almost evangelical devotion among techno-geeks. I was the high-priest of the personal computer religion. My public performances were adulatory affairs akin to revivalist rallies. I wore a black turtleneck, jeans, and trainers. I preached the message that salvation lay in my latest gadget. I was the poet of the computer world. I’d gone to India and become a Buddhist. I took LSD and believed it had opened my mind to new ways of thinking. My story – humble birth, rise and fall, miraculous comeback – was even likened by fanatical fans to the life of Christ.

Eighteen Cents

Damn right Leonard wanted his eighteen cents. Even if he had nowhere to put it. (Humor/460 Words)

The China Syndrome

Leonard's mom had left all those dishes to his wife. And there wasn't a damn thing Leonard could do about it. (Humor/700 Words)

Waiting For Crazy Horse

Young Leonard couldn't wait until he could go back and see the finished Crazy Horse monument. He's still waiting. (Humor/640 Words)

Mighty thinks for Kiddiwinks!

Fun, rhyming, short stories, a view of the world as seen through the eyes of kids, who use innocent words as they think they are pronounced, but sometimes coming up with a whole new meaning! Such times are often funny, often revealing, but always putting a whole new slant on life for adults and kiddiwinks alike! Designed for adults to read to kids so imaginations are used to build the pictures contained within the words and rhymes of the poems.

Misinterpreted Intervention: a sub-fictional autobiography

This is my navigation through a litany of tragically unintended turns for the worst before I could even fathom a semblance of balance. The constant clichés that continuously tortured me, to believe in the religiously conditioned reasoning for why I was still alive, had become so unbelievable that I couldn't even imagine what normal actually looked like. I could only interpret my misfortune as an unhealthy morning ritual because I couldn’t trust positivity or the promise that “things will get better.”I had to redefine my entire life in a way that I would be able to forge new meaning behind some of my darkest moments. If I was going to find nuanced ways to define the importance of life and death, though, captured from a lifetime of chaos . . . I had to look outward, behind new but slightly used eyes, and wearing shoes that sometimes never fit. This is my “autobiography,” but also a sub-fictional story of the struggles I undertook to distract myself from my own reality, to ultimately build a new one.

The Model Village

A crime in a village is not unusual, but the crime in this particular village was one of a different kind.

Total Mayhem Volume 2

He gives the referee a headache, he gives the defender and goalkeeper a headache, he even gives himself and the coach a headache He makes the media crazy, because with him, there is no lack of news, whether on or off the court. His affair with all kinds of women is enviable. He is a combination of angels and demons. How many people hate him, how many people like him.!

FIABE DELLA BUONANOTTE: 2 LIBRI IN1: STORIE E RACCONTI PER BAMBINI SOGNATORI. Un Viaggio tra Emozionanti Favole Piene di Insegnamenti di Vita Importanti (Italian Edition)

Stai cercando un libro che possa rendere l'ora di andare a dormire un momento meraviglioso per i tuoi bambini?Vorresti che tuo figlio si addormentasse facilmente in un sonno tranquillo?Se SÌ, continua a leggere...Questo libro contiene 2 manoscritti:FIABE DELLA BUONANOTTERACCONTI PER L'INFANZIAQuesto libro contiene anche svariate immagini da colorare per bambini per rendere ancora più utile il suo utilizzo creativo!Alcuni libri possono essere lunghi o avere storie troppo stimolanti che rendono i tuoi figli pieni di domande prima di andare a letto.Queste storie sono state create per ispirare i tuoi figli a sviluppare la loro consapevolezza aiutandoli anche e soprattutto ad addormentarsi la notte.Alcune delle lezioni che questo libro include:• Il valore delle emozioni• La favolosa gioia delle avventure e come vivere avventure sicure• Il valore di essere creativi e come aumentare la creatività• Ridi e rilassati con tuo figlio prima di andare a letto• L'importanza dell'ottimismo nella vitaE altro ancora!Questo libro contiene i passaggi essenziali di cui hai bisogno per aiutare tuo figlio ad addormentarsi meglio.Sei pronto a regalare a tuo figlio una meravigliosa esperienza di sonno e tante storie magiche e originali?Acquista la tua copia oggi e aggiungila alla tua speciale routine della buonanotte!Scorri verso l'alto e fai clic sul pulsante Acquista ora!

The Book of F*cks: for when you're fresh out

Have you run out of f*cks? Do you need some more? Or does your cup runneth over?A comedy poetry book where every page is a new kind of f*ckery.