Humour Books

The Summer Holidays Survival Guide

***FREE TO DOWNLOAD UNTIL OCTOBER 12TH!***

A comedy for every parent who has survived the school summer holidays

Two parents. Three children. One senile grandad. Six weeks. How bad could it possibly be?

For teacher, Ben Robinson, the school summer holidays mean one thing - spending six weeks with his kids. This year, however, he also has his father and one very angry wife to contend with. The name of the game is simple: survive.

Ben embarks on a summer of self-discovery that includes, amongst other things, becoming besotted by a beautiful Australian backpacker, an accidental Brexit march and a road rage attack. There's also the matter of saving his marriage, which is proving harder than he imagined, mainly due to an unfortunate pyramid scheme and one quite large bottom.

But when Ben learns his father has a secret, it takes the whole family on a trip to Scotland that will make or break their summer - and perhaps Ben's life.

From Jon Rance, bestselling author of Dan And Nat Got Married and About Us, comes a comedy about one man, one family, trying to survive the hardest six weeks of the year together.

**Featuring an exclusive extract from the Christmas special, The Family Christmas Survival Guide, out later this year!**

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

'Jon Rance makes me laugh.' Matt Dunn

'A satisfyingly British sense of humour. Recommended.' Nick Spalding

'Funny and poignant - the perfect combination.' Michele Gorman

'Funny, romantic and real.' Star Magazine, This Thirtysomething Life

'I cried, I cringed, I laughed and finished the book with a huge smile on my face! Jon Rance = brilliant!' Amazon reviewer, Dan And Nat Got Married

'Jon Rance has a delicious lightness of touch as he writes and delivers each comedic episode with great aplomb.' Amazon reviewer, Dan And Nat Got Married

'Dan and Nat Got Married was everything I wanted in a book, seriously. It made me laugh, it made me cringe, I loved Dan, I loved Nat, I loved Adam and Ellie, the dialogue and London setting was amazing.' Amazon reviewer, Dan And Nat Got Married

'Gripped from the start, full of emotion, laughter, sadness and love! If you want a book that makes you feel happy and smiling then this is the book for you.' Amazon reviewer, Sunday Dinners

'An endearing, heartwarming and realistic novel and would definitely come under the category of 'will make you laugh and cry at the same time'.' Bookaholic Confessions, This Thirtysomething Life

'A very candid, honest, hilarious read.' Chicklit Central, This Thirtysomething Life

'Fabulously funny diary-esque rom-com about a bloke who's scared of growing up. It's a debut novel with balls, literally.' The Bookboy, This Thirtysomething Life

'This is a touching, humorous, adorable read. I defy you not to read it all in one go, it's fantastic.' Bookaholic Holly, This Thirtysomething Life

This novel will resonate with anyone who's experienced life. That is because it's a book about ordinary people. It could be about you, it could be about me... It's About Us. Amazon reviewer, About Us

The book was well written, entertaining, enlightening and delivered nuggets of life wisdom without being preachy. Amazon reviewer, About Us

I laughed and I cried and most importantly I couldn't put it down. It's an absolute must read. Amazon reviewer, About Us

Well this book dragged me through the emotional mill and back again! I laughed, cried, was surprised, and I loved every minute of it. Amazon reviewer, About Us

Dirty Barry

The first casualty of adultery is ... the tooth!

Nuance... subtlety... subtext?

Nah, wrong author, pal. This is Scotland, not Narnia.

There's a bad guy - you won't like him at all (the clue's in the title) and he gets what's coming to him.

The fun is watching the comedy and misunderstandings that lead up to it... and the cast of characters who inhabit the story.

Meet CULLEN. An offbeat loner with a highly individual sense of right and wrong.

Barry Sullivan is a sordid dentist who resorts to blackmail to keep his string of married women compliant. But now Cullen has toothache - and a very different interpretation of the dental code of practice.

The Tartan Hiaasen strikes again with another tale which roars along - and which will have you roaring along with it.

Kim Kardashian Saves The World (After President Trump Nearly Ends It)

A #1 KINDLE POLITICAL HUMOR BESTSELLER! Uh-oh! Newly elected President Trump is ill prepared for the 3 a.m. phone call he receives from his National Security Adviser Sean Hannity alerting him to a nuclear strike in Canada's Northwest Territories. Taking advice from Secretary of State Sarah Palin, the sleep-deprived Trump makes an impetuous decision that could set the world on course for nuclear annihilation.

Fortunately, Trump is soon informed that help is on hand: "You know how there's The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice, sir? It turns out that as well as the CIA, there's also the Celebrity CIA."

Headed by Jodie Foster, the Celebrity Intelligence Agency (CELIA) sends globetrotting agent Kim Kardashian to London, then Russia, and finally the Arctic Circle as she races against time to resolve the crisis.

With a cast that includes everyone from Jesse Ventura to Justin Bieber, Rick Santorum to Maria Sharapova, and, of course, a reality TV star even more powerful than Trump himself, KIM KARDASHIAN SAVES THE WORLD (AFTER PRESIDENT TRUMP NEARLY ENDS IT) is both a fast-paced read and an urgent warning: "For people not paying close attention, the idea of voting for Donald Trump may have great appeal, if only for the fun of watching him play at being President," says author Richard Hine. "I wanted to write a story that reminds people to take this year's election very seriously, because the next President is sure to face challenges that are sudden, unexpected, and terrifying." UPDATE: Between Election Day and Inauguration Day 2017, 100% of all author proceeds from this ebook will be donated to The Trevor Project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/), the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth.

The Reading Group: December: a FREE short story (The Reading Group Series)

A FREE teaser to the wonderful THE READING GROUP, coming soon in November 2018.

Read it here first!



Grace knows that the holiday season is going to be different this year. No turkey, no tinsel, no gorgeously wrapped gifts under the tree . . . how on earth is she going to break it to her little boys that Christmas is effectively cancelled? And can she bear to tell anyone her embarrassing secret? Enter the Reading Group: Grace's life might have turned upside down but there's no problem they can't solve.

Meet the Reading Group: No topic is off-limits: books, family, love and loss . . . and don't forget the glass of red!



'Brims with laughs, love, family and friendship. You will love this heartwarming read!' Trisha Ashley.

Love Finds You: The Helena's Grove Series Book 1

Note: This book was previously published under "Love Is Thicker Than Blood" by Ivy Alexander. New content has been added including an extended ending, with twists and turns you'll be sure to love!

Sweet romance with a twist!

Jennifer Berkley is a straightforward, ambitious, soon-to-be lawyer in the fast, driven city of New York. She doesn't have the patience or time to deal with people who can't or won't give her what she wants. When her father asks her to visit her aunt in Ohio as her last dying wish, Jen is immediately resistant, but reconsiders when her father makes her an offer she can't refuse.

Jen finds Ohio a much different pace than New York, and is beginning to enjoy country life when she meets Zack LaFaye, a good-looking, helpful man who is adored by her aunt. Each encounter with him leaves Jen flustered and annoyed. The question is glaring: does she have feelings for him, or does she hate him so much that she can't decide?

Amidst a country backdrop, Jen discovers feelings and experiences no city girl is prepared for. As the summer unfolds, she finds herself questioning everything. Using her skill and training as a lawyer, Jen uncovers a trail of deceit she didn't see coming. With a vengeance, she is determined to find out the truth. Someone is lying to her, but who?

Love Finds You is a clean romance novel full of charming intrigue, with twists, turns, love, romance and drama that will leave you breathless as Jen must decipher her feelings, and the truth.



Helena's Grove Series ebook Categories

- free romance books for kindle fire

- free romance series set

- free clean romance kindle books

- free sweet romance books

- free romantic comedy books

- free inspirational romance

- free romantic books

A Greek village waiting for God: FREE Laugh out loud comedy Greek fiction (Mynos Series Book 0)

FREE BOOK! FREE READ! If you are lusting after reading about Greece in books, then here is the beginning of a Greek village series - Greek fiction that is real laugh out loud comedy. Episkopi is a Greek village, waiting for God. Discover how the village steps back from the grave and humorously goes about breathing new life into itself. The power of a new-fangled computer which is first used to secretly provide all the old boys with lustful moments, is harnessed for the benefit of everyone. The Mynos Series encompasses traditional village life in Greece with two old goats reflecting on their way of life, one being the kafenion owner, the other a ten bob millionaire from having sold land for expats to buy a home. There's a story behind every person who moves to Episkopi and with each book you'll discover their life experiences and discover how and why they made their move to a place in the sun.

Let's Get Serious (Let's Get Funny Fiction)

What should you do when your boyfriend wants to propose live on air? Should you a) confess up front that you're already married before the cameras are in your face and risk losing him, because you never meant to lie but you never mentioned it either. On the other hand, b) try to avoid being alone with him (ever again) so that he will not get the opportunity to ambush you with a surprise engagement ring. Or c) play along with it and accept his offer of marriage and that leaves option d) which stands for divorce, which is what you should have done ages ago seeing as it's been five long years since you've actually seen your husband in the flesh. Speaking about the absent husband, just to complicate matters even further begs the question. Did they have to make a pact to hook up again five years down the line and get back together for good, if neither of them had found happiness with another person by then?

And this is the problem that Faye Allen faces on the programme where she works, while the TV presenter is busy trying to make her own mark on telly so that she can fulfil her ambitions and one day host her own show. Only a scandal like this could sink her career boat that was sailing along quite nicely, until this happened to scupper her dreams. As it is decided, that the best course of action to take in this situation is to head off to Gibraltar to get it all sorted and Faye has a close encounter with a monkey for all her troubles and it would not be for the first time. So read this funny fiction in order to find out how Faye handles having a fiance and a famous husband plus a demanding workload all at once, which ends up crossing the line right over into every single part of her life and completely wrecks havoc all-round as a result.

This is a British comedy romance, short novel that is approximately 51,000 words in length.

The Billionaire Bargain

Sexy Australian billionaire Grant Devlin is ruining my life. He exercises shirtless in his office, is notorious for his lunchtime hook-ups, he even yawns sexily. If I didn't need this job so bad, I'd take his black Amex and tell him where to swipe it.

He doesn't even know I exist, but why would he? He jets off to Paris with supermodels, I spend Friday nights with Netflix and a chunk of Pepperidge Farm frozen cake--waiting for his call. Because every time he crashes his yacht, or blows $500k on a single roulette spin in Monte Carlo, I'm the PR girl who has to clean up his mess.

But this time, it's going to take more than just a fat charity donation. This time, the whole company is on the line. He needs to show investors that he's settling down, and Step #1 is pretending to date a nice, stable girl until people forget about what happened with the Playboy Bunnies backstage at the Oscars.

My plan is perfect, except for one thing:

He picks me.

(Book One of three. Full series available now!)

ALSO BY LILA:

The Billionaire Bargain series

The Billionaire Game series

Billionaire with a Twist series

Rugged Billionaire

Snowed in with the Billionaire

Lucky in Love series:

1. Get Lucky

2. Bet Me

3. Lovestruck

4. Mr Right Now

5. Perfect Match

6. Christmas with the Billionaire

Carolina Booty

Jaxie Parker works for one of the best ad agencies in Atlanta and and thrives in the upscale fast lane. She loves everything about the big city including her power-packed days and party-filled nights. But life as she knows it comes to a screetching halt when the boss puts her in charge of the firm's annual pro bono project, which is to revitalize a small town. Unfortunately, Rumton, South Carolina doesn't have a mall or nightclub, much less a nail salon. For that matter, there's no hotel, either. Jaxie ends up rooming with an old man in an even older house that he shares with a dog and a thieving raccoon.

Just when Jaxie thinks that she's landed in a dreadfully uneventful place, things heat up pretty fast -- there's much more to Rumton than meets the eye. Sexy men. A sinister plot to steal from the town. A raging wind storm. Quirky townspeople. And loads of astonishing pirate history. It all adds up to some major Carolina booty!

"Ocean's latest is delightful and entertaining." -Romantic Times BOOKreviews

Story Stack: Action-packed story starters for ages 6-8 and 9-12

Not sure what to get the kids to read next? Let them decide! Story Stack includes Chapters 1-4 of the following fun, fast-paced and popular illustrated chapter books by Karen Inglis: Henry Haynes and the Great Escape (for 6-8yrs) | Eeek! The Runaway Alien (for 7-10yrs) | Chapter 1 of Walter Brown and the Magician's Hat (for 7-9yrs) PLUS Chapters 1-3 of The Secret Lake (for 8-12 yrs). The Secret Lake is Karen's bestselling time travel mystery adventure story, enjoyed by over 7,000 readers. Karen has been praised by teachers, librarians, parents and reading charities for getting the most reluctant readers turning the pages. Full books available to order in print and/or for Kindle once the kids have had their say :)

Order with one click for free today - we think the kids and preteens will be back for more...!

Rescue Me

Chelsea Andrews can't decide who's more dangerous; the creep on the Toronto city bus, or the handsome stranger who rescues her. She doesn't hang around to find out. Fate intervenes when out of work actor Matt Malone sublets the apartment next door, and Chelsea discovers the most dangerous thing about her charming new neighbor is the damage he's inflicting on her heart. She's had enough of men like Matt; her father was a philandering charmer who left devastation in his wake. But the more she gets to know Matt, the more she realizes he's not like her father at all.

Success has eluded Matt's acting career. His family is pressuring him to give up acting and work full-time as a chef at the family business, Malone's Irish Pub. Matt likes to cook but acting is his passion. He's nearly thirty now, and meeting Chelsea makes him think of settling down. Should he give up his dreams for love's sake?

Chelsea is starting to believe she can trust Matt with her heart when strange romantic notes begin showing up at the art gallery where she works. Then she's followed home from the bus stop late one night, and her apartment is broken into. All the evidence points to Matt as the culprit. Is he the kind, funny, sincere man she's falling in love with, or some kind of stalker? Will the real Matt Malone please stand up?

The Old Man at the End of the World: Bite No. 1

The end is nigh.... and Gerald Stockwell-Poulter has had quite enough of it already. Pesky business altogether. All this hiding and running about. Makes Brexit look like a doddle.

After 87 largely well-behaved years as a model citizen, less than four hours into the 'zompocalypse' and he has already killed a neighbour, rescued a moody millennial drug dealer and forged an unlikely allegiance with a giant ginger Scotsman. And it isn't even tea time.

Join Gerald as he and his newfound allies navigate the post-apocalyptic English countryside in their hilarious bid to stay off the menu.

THE GOOD LIFE meets DOUGLAS ADAMS meets SHAUN OF THE DEAD! - Dave F, Amazon

The first instalment of the Old Man at the End of the World. A novella of 20,000 words.

For fans of Frank Tayell (Surviving the Evacuation), Mark Tufo (Zombie Fallout), Diana Rowland (White Trash Zombie) and also Jonas Jonasson (The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared), Fredrik Backman (A Man Called Ove) and Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg (The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules).

Miranda and Me

Hello and welcome to the first book ever written by a dog - me, Miss Peggy Hart. I just couldn't wait any longer for Miranda's book all about me (Peggy and Me) to come out in October so decided to release my own book ahead of Miranda, and here it is!

It turns out I am not just pretty face. And what a pretty face I hear you say. I know. Just look at me. I like to say I look like a cloud breathed by angels. I just say it how I see it. But my skills are not just my incredible natural beauty, I am also quite the literary whizz. And I hope you like my book .

What's even more exciting is it contains Twitter stories from the nation's own #AndMe moments, the best of which Miranda and I have hand-selected to appear in this ebook! The great British public have spilled the beans on their own doting companions, canine or otherwise. Oh and it also contains a sneak preview from Peggy and Me AND an exclusive introduction from none other than moi and Miranda. Expect laughter and tears - fuelled by a rich reserve of chaotic cats, pompous pooches and the odd human along the way.

I do so hope you like it because I love you very much and want to make you happy. I am lovely like that. Lots of licks and woofs to you and I hope to meet you in person one day.

The Pegster signing out (but do follow me on Twitter @realpeggyhart).

Love and Chaos: (Standalone Bad Boy Romance) (Growing Pains Book 4)

From USA Today Bestselling author, Willow Summers, is a hilarious and steamy romance.

It was supposed to be easy. Just a quick trip to the wine country to help her good friend, Peter.

She never expected to meet his bad boy brother...

Muscled, tattooed, and riding a Harley, Jace has Cassie's heart racing and blood boiling. Struggling to keep her desire on a tight leash, she must do everything she can to keep Peter's secret. But resisting that dimpled smile is harder than she could've ever imagined...

A standalone book based on the bestselling Growing Pains series. HEA. No cliffhanger!

49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom (The 49... Series Book 1)

Is your bedroom a tip?... Did you forget to tidy?... Can you hear the sound of parental footsteps getting closer and closer?... Here's 49 (extremely silly) excuses for not tidying your bedroom!

Join the comical adventure of these mischievous kids who will try absolutely anything to get away with not tidying their bedrooms. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt, you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.

Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won't help you get away with having a messy bedroom.

Recommended Age: 10+

I Heart Christmas (Part One: Chapters 1–5) (I Heart Series, Book 6)

'Brilliantly written, this festive instalment of Angela's life is as funny and enjoyable as ever'

Closer

This is PART 1 of 3 (chapters 1-5). It is not the whole book

You can buy the three parts two weeks ahead of the release of the full-length eBook and paperback.

Angela's planning her very own fairytale of New York...

o Enormous Christmas tree

o Eggnog

o Eccentric British traditions

o Gorgeous man

But Santa's throwing her a few curveballs - new job (as if it's not mental enough already), new baby-craze from her best friend Jenny, and Alex determined they should grow up and settle down. Once friends start turning up uninvited on her doorstep (and leading her astray), can Angela really have a merry little Christmas? So much for happy holidays - something's got to give...

The Dark Lake (FREE PREVIEW - Prologue and First Five Chapters) (Gemma Woodstock Book 1)

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 11.0px Helvetica} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} A tight-knit community is shocked by revelations from decades past in this "enthralling" (Associated Press) literary mystery that "will keep you racing toward the end" (Lisa Gardner).

The lead homicide investigator in a rural town, Detective Sergeant Gemma Woodstock is deeply unnerved when a high school classmate is found strangled, her body floating in a lake. And not just any classmate, but Rosalind Ryan, whose beauty and inscrutability exerted a magnetic pull on Smithson High School, first during Rosalind's student years and then again when she returned to teach drama.

As much as Rosalind's life was a mystery to Gemma when they were students together, her death presents even more of a puzzle. What made Rosalind quit her teaching job in Sydney and return to her hometown? Why did she live in a small, run-down apartment when her father was one of the town's richest men? And despite her many admirers, did anyone in the town truly know her?

Rosalind's enigmas frustrate and obsess Gemma, who has her own dangerous secrets--an affair with her colleague and past tragedies that may not stay in the past. Brilliantly rendered, THE DARK LAKE has characters as compelling and mysteries as layered as the best thrillers from Gillian Flynn and Sophie Hannah.

Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: (Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Fractured Fairy Tales, Parody Books, Free Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it. (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)

"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."

Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org

"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"

Angela, Amazon UK reader

"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."

Thelma Coots, Amazon reader

"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"

Isienie V., Amazon reader

*****

Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!

The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.

**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

Waking Up Married in Vegas, What will Fiance Think? (Romantic Comedy)(Married Couple)(Humor)(Short Story)

Donna Colby wakes up with a hangover and finds a man in her bed who is NOT her fiance. She has no memory of how she got there. In a matter of moments, she finds that she is married. What will she tell her fiance of several years? Even worse, what will she tell her MOM?

More:

She got three steps outside the door and almost ran into HIM.

"Good morning, Honey." The man, her new husband said, "I didn't think you were coming out today."

He folded her in his arms and kissed her with unbridled passion. He caught her off guard and she was having trouble thinking how to react. In the instant before their lips met, she saw he was very cute. He was tall, having to lean down to kiss her. He was well built, and solid. She closed her eyes and felt herself melting. He was one heck of a kisser!

He was a better kisser than Albert was, she thought guiltily. He was even better than Freddie Nolan back in college who had been her gold standard for comparison. Until now.

The kiss continued and he pulled her tighter. It was very, very nice. A warmth was developing rapidly inside, spreading fast. She was becoming tingly and achy in all the right places.

She became aware of something happening between them. He was rising fast. Her eyes flew wide as realization of some very dangerous facts. He was naked against her. He was erect. He was HUGE!

"Back up, dude!" She warned, pushing him away. "And get some clothes on. You could knock a vase off waving yourself around like that!"

"Sure, honey." He said, smiling. "Do you think you should put something on too?"

"Oh, God!" She gasped, blushing from head to toe. She had forgotten her state of dress... er... undress. She covered her breasts with one arm and her bottom with her other hand. "Turn around! Don't look at me!"

"What's wrong, honey?" He asked concerned, reaching toward her. "You're acting very strange this morning! If I didn't know better, I'd swear you don't know me!"

"Don't touch me," Donna shouted. "I don't know you!"

"This isn't funny!" He said. "You know we've spent every waking moment together since we met."

"Well, As far as I'm concerned, we haven't met." Donna replied. "Could you please get some clothes on?"It was very distracting with him waving around like that.

"Sure, honey." He chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Donna demanded.

"You wouldn't let me put any cloths on for the past two days. You said you liked to look at me. And that it saved time when we made love." He said. "NOW you want me dressed,"

"Oh. My. Lord!" She ran back into the bathroom and slammed the door. She was hyperventilating again.

"I'm a slut!" She thought. "A TOTAL slut! Only a slut would keep a total stranger naked for ... TWO days!" They had been together for TWO days. She had kept him naked. To save time?

"Oh, my god!" She thought, "I must have had a psychotic break!"

Wait a minute. If they were married, did that still mean she was a slut? That made it ok to act slutty, right? She was still trying to wrap her mind around BEING MARRIED.

Seven Fun Stories for 4-7 Years Olds

Seven Fun Stories for Kids

The Most Important Space Mission Ever - Captain Dom, is ready for an important space mission to find alien life forms. But, just before blast off Dom has to stop the countdown. He's forgotten something and he can't go into space without it.

Crocodile in the Bath - It's Matthew's bath time, but there's a pesky crocodile in the tub. Mum can't help, so it's up to Matthew to think of ways to get rid of that crocodile.

T'Rex's Lunch - T-Rex is hungry and wants to eat the clever Hadrosaur, but the Hadrosaur has other ideas.

The Bee Who Couldn't Dance - "Go find me the best flowers to make the sweetest nectar," said the Queen Bee. Unfortunately, Daisy can't do the Waggle Dance to tell the hive where the most buzztastic flowers can be found. Will she learn to dance before the baby bee larvae scream the hive down with hunger?

Baby Bath Time Fun - Tom's sister Lottie screams every time her toes touch the water in the big bath, can Tom convince Lottie that bath time is fun?

Steven Snuffles - Steven Snuffles can't stop sneezing. Captain Jolly has a boat race to win. Can Steven Snuffles help her out?

Michael's Pet - Michael wants a pet and when a caterpillar hitches a ride home on Michael's jumper a magical friendship begins.

Mango Cake and Murder: A Funny Quick Read Culinary Mystery (Mom and Christy's Cozy Mysteries Book 1)

What do you get when you combine mango cake, murder, and Mom?

An unlikely recipe for a better life!

When Mom convinces Christy to ditch her "lousy" job and help with the catering business, their fledgling partnership suffers a few setbacks. One of them can't cook, they're short a catering van, and the guest of honor at their first party is murdered.That would be bad enough, but then, Christy's cousin, Celia, becomes the prime suspect.

Solving a murder is no easy task, but when drunken death threats, a dashing detective, and terrifying taxidermy are added into the mix, the case becomes almost impossible to crack. Who knew a small town like Fletcher Canyon could be filled with so much craziness?

Will the disaster-prone duo find the real killer before Celia's reputation is destroyed, or will Celia end up in prison for murder? Find out in this quick comedy cozy!

This novella is the first book in the Mom and Christy's Cozy Mysteries series, and is a complete mystery that you can read in an hour or two. It does NOT contain strong language or graphic violence. But it does contain a cute cat!

The Submarine Full of Bees: A Bedtime Story For Kids Aged 5 to 10

A Bedtime Story With Added Buzz

This story is a little bit different from other stories. Usually stories are about other people but this story is about you. And usually stories are made up but this story is all true. It's about the amazing underwater adventure you had today with those bees.

I know what you're thinking: you're thinking: I didn't have an adventure with any bees today!

Oh yes you did! But you can't remember because that magic flower made you forget.

Let me explain ...

****************************

In this humorous and wildly imaginative read-aloud bedtime tale, the listener hears about a submarine expedition he/she embarked upon earlier that day to explore the uncharted depths of a muddy puddle. It's one of the thirty-one stories that make up the critically acclaimed collection A Month of Bedtime Stories, oh yes it is!

Reviews of A Month of Bedtime Stories:

A wonderful book well worth adding to any collection - Book Reviews and Giveaways

I loved each one and never once was ready to put the book down - Chodi Kid Books

Looney, wacky, imaginative and borderline crazy tales that McFarlane pens with absolute abandon - Grady Harp, Hall of Fame Top 100 Reviewer / Vine Voice

Grab a copy today

FOR RICHER OR POORER: ....A Romantic Comedy - (THE HENRY BLYTHE NOVELS Book 4)

A stand alone novel - number 4 in the Henry Blythe series.

Shortly after starting work at Blythe Enterprises, Sophie MacDonald, at the suggestion of her boss Henry Blythe, headed off on a two week holiday with her best friend Emma Tomkins.

Emma's Uncle Seymour owned a villa on the Mediterranean island of Capri which was 'a bit of a waste' apparently, as it was rarely used.

In search of sun, sand, sea and sex......and even more sex, this is Sophie's and Emma's story.

Will they find what they are looking for?

Will that Italian paradise island ever be the same again?

And exactly how much damage can they do in only two weeks?

Lily Loves to Love: ROM-COM FUN FICTION

Have you ever read a book and thought I do not want the main character to end up with the predictable hero? I wish she had gotten with the other man instead. Well here is your chance to change that scenario and choose whom you would like Lily to love. In this book, many comical things tend to happen to and around Lily Lockhart. As she deals with her job, her love life and her family, not to mention her friends so like a lot of us, she is simply an ordinary woman trying to survive this modern world and not always getting it right before mistakes come back to bite her on the bum. As the quirky but loveable girl just cannot help herself sometimes. This is all before trying her hand at a spot of charity work, when she decides that life is far too short to spend it selfishly.

At the start of the year, she ends her engagement and before long, there is plenty of male interest heading her way. We are talking 'The Handsome One' (Sean) and 'The Funny One' (Tom). In addition, there is also 'The Rich One' (Peter) but Lily cannot choose between them. Therefore, in the closing chapters, it is down to you 'the reader' to decide who wins Lily's heart since there is a fun multiple-choice style ending to the story. Will you pick the boyfriend, the best friend or the boss? Only one problem, she is pregnant so 'who's the daddy'.

The Best of Laugh Yourself Silly Jokes for Kids Sampler: Children's Juvenile Humor Ages 6-14 Riddles Knock-Knock Jokes

LAUGH YOURSELF SILLY is just what this book will do to readers, with a ton of jokes and hysterical illustrations, there's something for every kid ages 6-14! This 70-page book features samples from some of the best jokes from each book in the series: jokes for kids, knock-knock, spooky, sports, school, holidays, animals, food, funny situations & more, Plus--new, original jokes you won't find in other joke books! Sign up at the author's website, hariddle.com, to get the full book - free! Get info about upcoming titles in the series.

A Lonely Dog on Christmas

Christmas Day is fast approaching. For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember.

A Lonely Dog on Christmas is not intended for children and contains language unsuitable for young readers.

Grandad Miller, Serial Killer... and Friends

'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer... and Friends' is a trilogy of darkly humorous, homicidal novels by Mark C Sutton, bringing together in one collection the warped and twisted stories of Brian Miller, a psychopathic OAP with a bad back, the nerdish lunatic Stephen Hartley AKA 'The Dead Winter Mountain Murderer', and the violent mafiosa-style gang of elderly women known collectively as 'The Borzelliero Bunch'.

Grandad Miller, Serial Killer

You'll never feel safe on your allotment again...

Brian Miller is a devoted family man in his seventies, with a sinister secret; in the nineteen sixties, he murdered three people and got away with it. But Brian put aside his murderous ways, focusing instead on enjoying a happy life with his new young family. Many years later, a personal tragedy results in Brian's long dormant blood-lust to rise to the surface again, and the ageing serial killer is reborn, leading to a trail of death and destruction with an increasingly high body-count. Grandad Miller seeks revenge on all manner of victims, from a loutish fellow member of his local allotment, to a trio of violent muggers, from a former school bully who made his life a misery many years ago, to a feisty, ageing, hairdresser who has given his wife a disastrous perm down at the local salon. Will the lovable, homicidal grandfather be able to avoid capture by the authorities, or will his increasingly bad back put paid to Brian's nefarious ways for good?

The Dead Winter Mountain Murders

They say that Stephen Hartley is one of the United Kingdom's worst serial killers... perhaps... but he's definitely the most nerdy.

When the body of a woman is found buried in a peat-bog near Scarr Mountain, a police investigation quickly unearths many more grim discoveries in the surrounding area. Soon, their number one suspect is in custody... a geeky, squeamish, anxiety-ridden cry-baby with a passion for model trains, golf, bad sci-fi movies, nerdy pod-casts, soft rock ballads, Albanian underground techno, and hideous home-made pizza's.

Welcome to the world of Stephen Morris Hartley, AKA 'The Slayer of Scarr Mountain'.

Bingo and Bullets - Book One: The Borzelliero Bunch

Crabley-on-Sea is a town under siege... from its own 'killer wrinklies'...

'Bingo and Bullets' is the tale of a ruthless criminal empire with a difference; all of its members are elderly women with a taste for foul language, violence, extortion, murder, and, of course, unusual moniker's. Led by the mysterious Edna 'Big Bunn' Borzelliero, and following a Mafiosa-style hierarchy, 'The Borzelliero Bunch' are hell-bent on taking control of the quiet seaside town of Crabley-on-Sea for their own personal gain. 'Bingo and Bullets' chronicles the lives and crimes of the various members of 'The Borzelliero Bunch', such as the quick-tempered capo, 'Li'l Lil' Petrocino, the volatile and untrustworthy psychotic, 'Ulcers' Scarpelli, and the vicious husband-abuser, 'False-Teeth' Felnetti.

Warning: Contains graphic violence and strong language. Not suitable for minors.

Tom vs Jerry ultimate memes (Tom and Jerry Book 4)

Tom and Jerry is loved by all people irrespective of age and mostly loved by kids. I have collected over 600+ memes of Tom and Jerry. Hope you enjoy them a lot.

Contaminated Samples

A free sampler containing the outrageous first chapters from Frankie's three books My Shit Life So Far, Work! Consume! Die! and Scotland's Jesus. Perfect for when you want to feel deeply offended.

MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR: 'I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking "Why would anyone want to know this shit?" I've always read them thinking "I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!"'

So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it.

WORK! CONSUME DIE!: Stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell.

SCOTLAND'S JESUS: Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

The travel diaries of John Dot: Margate (Mid Life Backpacker Book 1)

A midlife calamity. A last-chance retreat. He's packed all of his emotional baggage...John Dot's life is falling apart at the seams, much like the waistband of his trousers. As a 47-year-old bogged down by gloomy moods and irrational fears, he's a perfect fit for the drab British seaside. But with a long-suffering girlfriend who's way out of his league, John knows his only chance to keep her is by trying something drastic...

He plans a weekend holiday to the sandy beaches of Margate, hoping his efforts to wine and dine Olivia will get them in the clear. He never expected the series of misadventures that would hurl him far outside his comfort zone...

Can John keep it together or will his inner humbug bring the romantic getaway to a crashing halt?

The Travel Diaries of John Dot: Margate is the hilarious first installment of the Mid Life Backpacker series, a set of comedic travel novels. If you like dry British humor, dark journeys of the soul, and travelogues with a twist, then you'll love Kevin Kelly's coastal confessional.

Download the book to embark on a comedic midlife crisis today!

(Not So) Good in a Room (California Dreamers Romantic Comedy Series Book 1)

She's not the kind of girl he can take home to daddy.

(NOT SO) GOOD IN A ROOM, a romantic comedy novella, is a modern reimagining of Cyrano de Bergerac.

Awkward screenwriter Nellie Berg is great with words, as long as she can write them down. She's written over thirty action scripts, but has been unable to sell a single one to Hollywood. Instead of working the room, every time Nellie tries to pitch her scripts to producers she becomes overcome with anxiety and completely blanks out.

When Nellie meets another aspiring screenwriter, Roscoe Rhodes, at Pitchfestapalooza they form an unlikely friendship. Roscoe is everything Nellie is not: outgoing, witty, charming...and good in a room. Roscoe suggests that Nellie hire his cousin, Chris, an unemployed actor to pitch her scripts to producers.

Things get complicated when Nellie falls for Chris and she seeks Roscoe's help to seal the deal. Roscoe realizes he actually has feelings for Nellie. And Hollywood falls in love with the hot the new pretend screenwriter, who has never even read an entire script let alone written one.

WARNING: This book contains foul language, sexual innuendo and a little bit of hanky-panky. Buyer beware.

CALIFORNIA DREAMERS is a series of interconnecting romantic comedy stories that can be read as STAND ALONE NOVELLAS or as part of the SERIES.

The CALIFORNIA DREAMERS SERIES:

(Not So) Good in a Room (Nellie's Story)

Beautiful Abyss (Chris's Story)

So Far Away (Maddie's Story)

Rookie Mistake (Cody & Maya's Story)

BEST COLLECTION OF SCHOOL MEMES : ULTIMATE SCHOOL MEMES: BACK TO SCHOOL DAYS

This book is meant to be read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

In this book, I've collected over 800+ funny school memes which makes you remember your lovely days at school.

I hope you enjoy a lot.

134.2 QI Facts to Leave You Flabbergasted: Free EBook Sampler

'This may look like a free ebook sampler, but it's actually a portal. While you may read this in just twenty minutes, each little nugget is only the visible tip of an information iceberg.'

In this free ebook sampler to accompany the new book 1,342 QI Facts To Leave You Flabbergasted, come face-to-face with some of the most mind-blowing facts in the QI universe, such as: The sun gets 4 million tons lighter every second; The first scientifically named dinosaur bone was called Scrotum humanum because it looked like a giant pair of human testicles; A 'batman' was a unit of weight in the Ottoman Empire. Ben Affleck weighs about nine batmans; Making all the chain mail for The Lord of the Rings wore the costume designers' fingerprints away.

Enjoy the incredible world of QI facts.

Committable

It's too early to tell, but Ripple Johnson may go down as one of the greatest amateur sleuths in the history of commercial fiction (remember, if it says it on the internet, it's true.) By day, he's a high school assistant principal with questionable job security. By weekend, an overqualified yet blasphemous church youth leader. And by the dark of night, a clandestine infomercial host too talented to maintain his double life for much longer. But no matter the day, and no matter the job, and no matter if he suddenly and uncontrollably sounds like a British playwright when lying, he will stop at nothing (that's not always true; he stops at lots of stuff) to seek justice for those he loves.

Somebody is blackmailing Ripple's best friend Kimmie, only they don't know why and they don't know what the blackmailer wants. As Ripple goes in search of how that is even possible, he uncovers past and present secrets and indiscretions that challenge his mental and emotional resolve. As the search wears on, every person who might possess a clue keeps disappearing, showing signs that Kimmie is not the only one being blackmailed. And with each passing page, Ripple grows a little more unstable, a little more unpredictable, and a little more determined to find out just what in the hell is going on.

With help from his best friend (who is experiencing what may be male menopause) and a new girl that appears out of nowhere and applies shock paddles to his listless and troubled heart (and has sex with him for the first time in like five years,) Ripple is in a seemingly unwinnable race against time and truth. But as those truths become more and more outrageous and despicable, he is forced to make a decision that could destroy an already shaky ability to self-preserve, but also a decision that could save the only family he knows. Committable is a fun and often funny novel with a whole bunch of heart and just the right amount of suspense, mystery, family drama, love story, and craziness to make it a very enjoyable read. You will NOT be disappointed.

Halloween Pranks: Seven pranks for the week leading up to Halloween

A fully illustrated prank book for the week leading up to Halloween. Quick and easy pranks to pull on your kids, friends or lovers - if they deserve it - during the season of spook!

There is no easier way to say you love someone than to show them, right? And if showing means making them smile, even better. Try a seasonal love prank to make your kid, friends or lover laugh!

If you are running low on ideas, no worries! Haunted Holly, the top agent from the WeLovePranks Agency will show you how in the Halloween Pranks prank book!

Quinceys Quirky Quiz Books Photo Dingbats Volume One: Photo Puzzles Volume 1

If you like to watch Catchphrase, then take a look at this book of Photo Dingbats that I have created.

These puzzles are known by various names such as Rebuses, Pictograms and Dingbats. They consist of a picture that represents a well known saying or word or phrase.

Keep your brain active with this volume of fifty puzzles.

Sooner or Later...You Will Get Caught

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY

Kids often do things they know they shouldn't do. And they all think they won't get caught. But this true story proves the adage - "It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but sooner or later....you WILL get caught"

This fun read begins with a young girl, and her budding career in parental note forgery. Thirty years later, it comes back to haunt her in the most amusing way -proving once and for all that what goes around, comes around! Perfect short read for those "waiting for the kids to get out of school/practice/dance/etc." moments.

Includes a bonus excerpt from Stranger Danger - How to Talk to Kids About Strangers.

Knock Knock Jokes For Kids: The Best Knock Knock Jokes For Kids (joke books for teens, jokes for kids, funny books, knock knock books, joke books for kids 10-12, joke books for teens)

Knock Knock Jokes For Kids - The Best Knock Knock Jokes For Kids!

Funny Jokes and with illustrations.

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Knock Knock Jokes are like

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Goat

Goat who?

Goat to the door and find out.

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Knock, knock

Who's there?

Figs

Figs who?

Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

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Animal Knock Knock Jokes

Food Knock Knock Jokes

Name Knock Knock Jokes

Places Knock Knock Jokes

Bonus Funny Knock Knock Jokes

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Buy it now and have some fun!

Two Legs, Three Legs, Four Legs: More Rescue Dog Stories With Duncan the Canine Tripod and his Friends Seamus, Shannon and Minnie (The Long, The Short and The Tall Book 2)

Meet the "Gang of Four", Seamus, Shannon, Minnie and Duncan the Canine Tripod.

All Rescue Dogs, they became firm friends over the years. Their story was told in Book One. "The Long, The Short and The Tall. Life with Rescue Dogs."

Now the Gang rides again! Read some more of their stories: happy stories, scary stories, but always true stories. Enjoy a walk out with them over Pendle Hill. Learn how Duncan almost lost another leg!

Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you. Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you.

101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

The Haunted Dollhouse (The Ghost Store)

Lottie Landers is 15 years old. She can see ghosts and she helps them with any unfinished business.

In this first story, Lottie's dad brings a dollhouse into the family store. A ghost is attached to it. It doesn't take Lottie long to connect with the ghost, but when she does, her heart fills with sadness.

This is going to be a difficult case for Lottie, but she is determined to help the ghost.

In the Grotto: Elrood the Elf

It's not all jam you know, being an employee at the North Pole.

Join Elrood the elf on his first three adventures as he takes a grown-up look at the world of working in the world's greatest toy factory.

"Elrood's Story" gives you a tour of the grotto like you have never seen before. Elrood's "unique" viewpoint gives an insight into canteen cutlery, production line management, and how the Northern Lights are really made.

"Complex Future" sees Elrood feeling lucky to join the Finance department only to find himself mixed up in a major financial crisis - only, don't blame him.

"The Greatest Show in the Arctic" tells how the Polar Games come North for the first time in ages. Elrood joins the events committee. He's left a few things off his CV which, not only leads to trouble, but also triumph in the "Trike Off!"

A Common Language

Kalli Hardford is forced to leave her home in the US to attend an elite music college in the UK when she is accepted on scholarship. There she meets the members of Data Venia, a group on campus focused on excellence. When Kalli's scholarship is put at risk she must choose between friendship and getting ahead. All of the members of Data Venia must face their past to start their careers.

Hot Shots FC

This is the first book in the 'stupidly funny' football series, Hot Shots FC. It is for children aimed 6-12 who like football, or being silly, or laughing out loud again and again!

It follows the fortunes of Hat Trick Boy, who is selected to join local side Hammers FC. But there is a problem: his friends aren't picked. So Hat Trick Boy has to choose between his friends and his football, and he makes a mistake. He deserts his friends and decides to join the rather rough Hammers FC. But he doesn't know his friends are about to set up the greatest junior football club ever, Hot Shots FC...

So you want to become a Sub

So you want to become a sub is a quick crash-course for a potential sub interested in entering the BDSM lifestyle. It is written with the female perspective in mind, searching for a male Dom. In this short, seven chapter book you will discover some very true and helpful information, but remember, it is meant to be a light and fun read.

They Win. You Lose.: Sex, Violence & Songs from the Shows (The Implosion Saga (Book 1))

They Win. You Lose. By Stan Arnold

Sex, Violence and Songs from the Shows.

They Win. You Lose. is the first book of The Implosion Saga. It's a very funny thriller. Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers. They drink too much and don't earn enough.

So when the Mafia come calling, demanding back rent of ?6,000, they have ten minutes to do a runner. All they have is an old Morris Traveller (a Woodie, if you're in the US) and a tank full of petrol.

Their sudden flight takes them to the sex trade in Southsea, out-of-body experiences, horrendous amateur dramatics, Death Metal pubs, foul-mouthed, 80-year-old punk grannies and hit men dressed in pink Mexican outfits.

Under constant threat from enforcers, they get offered a mystery job in Las Vegas. When they arrive, six Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes are waiting for them. They make their escape using the world's most mercenary taxi driver.

During the next 24 hours, they chicken out a freight train, walk six moonlit miles across the desert with cactus-punctured groins, find out what badly manufactured LSD can do to you, avoid Thelma and Louise suicide-a-likes, have sex with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, make a commitment in front of a Bourbon-fuelled Elvis at Big Derek's Gay Marriage Emporium and blow up a Harley Davidson. The final showdown takes place with the mafia boss in the world's most unspeakably lurid theatrical environment. A very neat twist propels them from sudden death into a totally different way of life.

Or does it?

A Beginners Guide to Criminality: how to be a successful villain

So you're thinking of converting to a life of crime; contemplating turning your back on society and normality for an alternative vocation; giving serious consideration to saying "t'hell with the laws of the land!" and "I'm going out to take what's not rightfully mine!"?

Who can blame you! In these times of high unemployment, low wages, austerity cuts, increased cost of living and social decay (not to mention a faltering judicial system) why wouldn't you consider a slightly unorthodox profession? After all, the latest games consoles, interactive TV's and new cars don't come cheap - not to mention booze and cigarettes!

Maybe you've tried the conventional Monday to Friday, nine to five existence and decided that lifestyle just isn't for you. Perhaps you've never worked a day in your life and criminality comes naturally to your clan and as such a life of crime is your destiny - upholding the proud family name.

Venturing down the criminal path is not a decision to be taken lightly though; there are many factors you must consider in advance if you want to make the most of your villainous plans. This short guide will provide all you need to know about crossing over to the dark side and setting off on your journey of self-discovery and debauchery as you pillage and plunder your way up the criminal ladder from petty thief, to powerful crime lord.

A Pun in the Oven

More ridiculously funny - and ridiculous - rhymes from the Loonyverse inside Phil Maund's head. Discover how the formerly naked Emperor got his revenge, why Clara the Clairvoyant was so upset, revisit Eentsy Weentsy Spider, and see the truth revealed about Archimedes and his bath. These and more will have you in more stitches than his wife's embroidery machine.

The Epic Santa Chase: An Angus Adams Christmas Short Story

What would you do if a thief in a Santa costume took off with your iPad? If you're anything like Angus Adams, you might embark on a wild chase across the city, although perhaps not with a giant chicken and a nun in tow. Determined to stop the thief, Angus uses everything he's got and more. This fast paced story will have you running alongside him right up until the surprise ending that you won't see coming.

(A Christmas short-story for kids 9-12 years.)

Sinister Inventions (For Smoother Living)

Innocence, the stupidest boy in the world, is convinced killer mosquitoes from the sun are coming to destroy Earth. So he sets out on a quest to persuade Liquorice, a reclusive inventor girl, to sew up the hole in the Ozone layer to keep them out. Together they must save the world! (If only Liquorice would take him seriously...)

It's got KitKat-addicted pheasants, it's got a space rocket, it's got mouldy orange juice, it's got a shady-eyed, evil boss... And yes, it's even got a curly-whiskered cat called Dame Bartholomew Crustacean!

The fishing trip that never was

It was summer 2012 in southern England. After months of solid rain I start dreaming of going sea fishing. I find by searching on Google, a stranger with a fishing boat down at Rye, a medieval fishing port on the South Coast of England. I eventually meet up with him and a friend who take me out fishing. The trip nearly ends in disaster, this is the hilarious and true story of the 'fishing trip that never was'.

The Spy Who Bluffed Me! (Best of British)

The name's Palmer...Pagga Palmer...

Neville 'Pagga' Palmer is an over-sexed, run-of-the-mill doorman with delusions of grandeur. Despite being terrified of his local rivals and thicker than a whale omelette he's convinced that he's a highly trained spy who is simply 'sleeping' until needed by the security services. This isn't a scenario that anyone who has ever met him would think likely...until one day an upper-class, blonde-haired spook asks him to sign the official secrets act and tells him that his services are required for Queen and country...

Bad guys beware 'cos Pagga's coming to save the world!

Hettford Witch Hunt, Series One: Comedy Horror

"With subtle humor and a charming regional voice, James Rhodes cleverly crafts a story of vengeance, mystery and witchcraft. Deftly weaving the ordinary and supernatural Rhodes leads readers along a path strewn with dreary workaday details offset by exciting glimpses of an otherworld that threatens to destroy the safety of the mundane."

-Kirsten Imani Kasai, Author: Ice Song, Tattoo, Del Rey Books

Gary Turlough is falling deeper into his post-graduate slump as each day goes by. He is in a dead-end job with no prospects and, following a slight indiscretion with a local goth, his girlfriend is one more mistake away from heading back to New Zealand. Life in the small village of Hettford would be tough enough without the spirits of two 18th Century witches plotting to kill his only two friends.

Milton and Dan are the real ale drinking hill-walkers of witch hunting: Nobody may believe them, nobody may reward them and they might not ever accomplish very much but nonetheless they remain devoted to their cause. With a slick sitcom format this novel is a must have for fans of paranormal comedy.

SERIES TWO: Available now!

Risking it All: The Rosewoods - A Short Story

Things are not going well for Brady Fleming, Rosewood equestrian coach and Olympic hopeful. Thanks to a careless fall off his horse, he is now on crutches - out of training and a job. Not to mention he's had to promise Brooklyn he'll back off so they could be just friends, which is the last thing he wants. The worst part is he knows she's into him too; she's as much as admitted it. And that kiss... There is no denying their chemistry after that kiss at the costume dance. But he can't date a student and he balked when she asked him if he was willing to risk it all to be with her. Now that his job and training are on hold, his outlook has changed and he's beginning to realize what really matters and what he wants from his life.

Maybe that girl who showed up on campus and turned his heart inside out is worth risking everything for after all.

Read Risking it All, a short story from Brady's perspective, in preparation for Making Ripples, The Rosewoods book 6.

Flushed: A funny short story (The Meantime Stories Book 1)

"I was unable to stop reading this absurd and awfully seductive tale of power, politics and poo. Most highly recommended." -Readers' Favorite (5/5 STAR REVIEW)

The President's world is about to turn upside down in this acclaimed and hilarious short story about power, politics and an obstinate toilet.

During a summit, the President faces his biggest challenge yet: A clogged toilet. What's the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matter into his own hands?

THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, drenched in Nordic Noir (human folly, plentiful abrupt deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It's glittering darkness, and clouded light.

Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.

Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.

Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.

Double the excitement.

Triple the laughs.

Paintbrush illustrations.

This is...

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Politics on the Playground, Episode One: Trump's Tantrum

***WARNING - This book is not for people with politically correct yardsticks wedged up their asses***

So you just happened upon this book by chance? You loathe The Donald and you want to see him slammed in a parody. Or maybe you are Donald Trump, and you are gathering evidence for your lawsuit against me. Either way, if this is your first PJ Jones book, you should be warned: I'm rude, crude, and crap your pants funny. Depending on the size of the yardstick wedged up your ass, I may also not be funny at all, disgusting, and shameful.

You are about to take a romp through some inane, low-brow prose, where most of your beloved conservative and liberal politicians will be roasted, skewed, and served up with gluten-free wasabi (sorry, Ted Cruz, but we're fresh out of the gluten kind).

In other words, if you don't spew coffee through your nose while reading this book, YOU'RE READING IT WRONG!

Sincerely, PJ

* * *

What critics are saying about Politics on the Playground

There's a special spot in hell for writers who parody Hillary Clinton--Madeleine Albright's neighbor's cat

If you publish this book, PJ, I swear I'll turn your house into a parking lot--A lawyer who claims he works for Donald Trump

I think Trump should throw PJ over the wall--An unnamed source who heard it from a friend of a friend of Sean Hannity

This book is a little too gay for me--Someone claiming to be Ted Cruz

Buy this book, and I'll send you a free used cigar--A flasher in the Safeway parking lot claiming to be Bill Clinton

Big Book of Nonsense Part 1

Jam-packed with the very best nonsense rhymes and tricky tongue-twisters, this wonderfully exuberant collection contains quirky, color illustrations from Colin West and lashings of his wildly wacky verse! With sections such as 'Moments with Monsters' and 'Curious Creatures' this brilliant book features poems and wordplay to satisfy nonsense-lovers everywhere!

Meet the WOOF Characters: A Just For Fun Companion Guide Extra (The Woof Books)

This is a fun cast of characters companion guide to the The WOOF Books series. It contains samples, is just for fun, and will be updated as the series requires it. The WOOF Books are light, laugh out loud, heartwarming comedy. With a wily German Shepherd. By an Amazon Best-Selling author. Grab your WOOF Book today!

A Month of Bedtime Stories: the First Five Stories (and off you went to the woods)

The first five stories of the highly praised collection, "A Month of Bedtime Stories".

Children will love being the main character and hearing about the adventures they had earlier in the day. ("You don't remember? It must have been that bonk on the head that made you forget!") Parents too will enjoy the humor and imagination of this book of immersive, read-aloud bedtime tales.

150 Knock! Knock! Jokes

150 hilarious knock knock jokes to keep the kids amused, with lots of charming illustrations.

Taking Off

A few years after graduating college, Ty was fed up with "working" and "acting responsibly like every other adult is expected to," and chose instead to quit his job and backpack across Europe and Asia. Taking Off is the mostly true memoir of his trip.

Yes, this may come as a shock, but a twenty-something wrote about his experiences travelling. Kind of like when Ashley from HR sent you the link to her vacation blog. The differences being that this book is longer, has less pictures of Ashley in a bikini, and gives you no real obligation to read it since you'll never bump into Ty in the break room where he'll ask you how you liked it. But regardless of obligation, you can still appreciate this book, as it consists of several humorous, interesting, and worthwhile anecdotes that are way more interesting than anything that self-absorbed narcissist Ashley could ever write.

This book is completely, 100% free. So if you're interested, give it a read. If you like it, tell a friend about how good it was. If you don't like it, lie to an enemy about how good it was. Either way, make sure to flaunt the book's completion to someone. You're literate for God's sake, and the contemptible people with whom you surround yourself need to be made aware of your superiority.

Losing It: Ten Easy Steps to Losing a Fortune on the Stock Market

Do you have money to burn? Are you over-taxed, bored or self-destructive? Looking for a way to wipe out your savings and lower your standard of living as conventionally understood by today's happening urbanite? Then this is the e-book for you!

Although there's an infinite variety of ways to lose money on the stock market, I will walk you through the ten most effective and efficient strategies currently available. I have personally put years of meticulous research into honing these techniques while losing money hand over fist. Following my sage and hard-earned advice, you too can start losing money today.

Hug (the Pug)

Hug (the Pug) tells the tale of a cute little pug who is on a quest for friendship, however, will his bladder problem prevent him from making friends?

Charlie The Pissed Off Mutt

Charlie is a dog who suffers from anger issues. Trying to impress his owner, his number one goal in life is to become a house dog. Things are looking good until Jasper the stray dog shows up uninvited. Pissed off, Charlie has to come up with a plan to get rid of Jasper once and for all.

Part 2 is Available Now at This Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XO8OXTO

Summer Lovin' (Seasons of Love Book 1)

Everyone should have at least one wild fling on their resume.

Mia volunteers to dogsit for two weeks, giving her a chance to figure out the next step in her life, and career. She discovers it's not easy chasing after a puppy with a shoe fetish, but there's a reward for all her troubles: the hunky guy next door.

Luke is a workaholic chef forced to take two weeks' vacation, and at first he's sure the downtime might kill him. But then he gets to know his temporary neighbor. She's sexy and fun, and all of a sudden, two weeks isn't nearly enough time.

Obey The Rules: A free extract from The Rules

A FREE colour Ebook featuring extracts from The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple - available for a limited time only.



The Velominati embrace cycling not just as a pastime or a means of travel, but as a way of life - as obsessed with style, heritage, authenticity and wisdom as with performance.

THE RULES is their Bible, and is an essential part of every cyclist's arsenal.

Nerd Power (Diary of a Boy Genius Book 1)

Cody Greer has made it. He's finally in the sixth grade and king of the world. Or, at least, king of his school. Cody has a lot going for him but has only one thing on his mind-winning the heart of the new girl in school, Sarah Davis.

But who knew that the sixth grade could be so much work? Almost immediately, Cody defends Sarah's honor, plays his arch-rival, Eric Mullen, in the championship football game and still manages to somehow find time to be the lead in the school play.

And as he navigates through the treacherous waters of his final year at Wenchester Elementary-as he experiences his first love, his first kiss, a painful loss, and more fun and laughs and tears than he ever bargained for-Cody Greer will discover the true meaning of friendship and learn that life has a funny way of throwing you a few curve balls. Luckily, Cody knows just how to keep his eye on the ball.

REVIEWS:

"What a fun ride! Night displays an uncanny knack to capture the thoughts and language of youth. Nerd Power is heroic, funny, and most of all, real."

-Summer Lee, author of Beach Angel

"Nerd Power is pitch-perfect. More than anything, the author is a natural born storyteller. Think Nicholas Sparks meets Judy Blume. The story itself is inspiring and hilarious and will stay with you for some time to come. Night captures the thoughts and feelings of six-graders everywhere in a wonderfully touching and moving tale."

-J.R. Rain, author of The Mystery of the Walking Statue

"This is why I love reading! Nerd Power is hilarious, thought-provoking and poignant!"

-Elaine Babich, author You Never Called Me Princess

"Sweet and heart-warming. I absolutely fell in love with Nerd Power."

-Leilani Bennett, author of As I Fade

Fifty Shades of Neigh - A parody

They say money is a great aphrodisiac, but are there really enough billions in the world to mitigate the many flaws of a man who wears DON'T FRIENDZONE ME t-shirts and thinks all you have to do to acquire old-school, film noir charm is to pop on a fedora and call all women toots?

Can enough money exist to take the edge off a man like Crispian Neigh, a doughy internet billionaire of uncertain provenance and even less certain weight? Is he doomed to be Forever Alone, or is there a woman in the world who can see the man behind the billions, and forgive his habit of drawing busty dwarf erotica based on World of Warcraft characters?

Step forward Hanna Squeal - literature student and insurance risk, a self-proclaimed intellectual so alarmingly dim that she thinks Camus is a chickpea-based dip flavoured with garlic.

When Hanna stumbles, glissades and finally faceplants in front of him, Crispian Neigh is enraptured by her beauty, her implausible innocence and her shatteringly low self-esteem.

Cue several hundred pages of poorly-written, repetitive 'kinky' sex. Flogging, whipping, fisting, anal intercourse and things that would give even James Joyce cause to pause - none of these things happen in this book. Due to a sheltered girlhood (I'm not kidding - she's never even leaned up against the washing machine on the spin cycle.) Hanna doesn't even know the difference between an orgasm and a sneeze.

Also he's got that thing that hasn't quite cleared up yet.

But when Crispian makes Hanna an offer she can't refuse (Severed horse heads a very real possibility.) she is determined to forge on with the relationship in spite of the objections of her stoner friend Kate, her polyamorous Etsy addict mother and the rude retorts of her spiteful Inner Goddess.

Can Hanna change him? (No) Can she turn him into the kind of boyfriend she's always wanted? (Nope) And can she get over his deepest, darkest, pinkest secret and bring herself to love and tolerate My Little Brony? (Probably not - not if we want to wring a sequel out of this thing.)

Love Hurts

"Let me tell you something about love. They say love hurts, well my love killed a whole town. Only a small town mind, but a whole town all the same. Love doesn't just hurt, it maims, cripples and kills. I know, I've seen it in action.

This introduction put Russell on the runner-up list for The Independent newspaper's 'Opening Gambits' competition.

Here is the full book, enjoy.

Life Lessons, By Year

The saying "You're only young once" isn't really applicable to our generation. The time capsule that is Thought Catalog lets readers live it and relive it again. Many of our writers have gotten into a habit of composing year-in-review lists on the eve of their birthdays. Here, we've combined essays from writers 18-31 years of age. While desires and reactions might change from year to year, you'll notice that at every age, we all want the same thing: to waste less time worrying and more time doing.

Strange Thoughts, Random Mutterings

Why is work better than sex?

Do Bond villains lack ambition?

Are you an alien terrorist?

Is the world getting better or worse?

What is the best undead creature to actually be?

How can you reliably predict the future?

How do wasps get into the house?

How can you live to be 100?

Do we possess free will?

What are brains for?

If you enjoy asking unusual questions and getting unexpected answers, this book is for you.

In a collection of his 100 best blog articles, the writer Jackson Radcliffe spans a diverse range of topics, from comedy to spirituality, and from tax forms to philosophy & science.

Short and witty, Radcliffe captures an entertaining and stimulating vision of the world in friendly, bite-sized chunks.

The blog articles are divided into 19 sections:

Life (life, death and all the funny bits in between, what is comedy? why do we laugh? happiness, aliens, bin laden, success and failure, why I love Americans)

The internet (computers, photos of cats, videos of people falling over, privacy, twitter, facebook and social media, stupidity and the internet, Google)

Blogging (what is a blog? the modern diary, stats addiction, more twitter, how to get more blog followers, humour and comedy)

An uncertain world (uncertainty, problems, solutions, life is a mystery, why we should fear aliens)

Technology (from smart phones to the technological singularity, life in a virtual world, the myth of finite resources, inventing the future, why technology means freedom)

Books and movies (book reviews, vampires, James Bond villains, Darth Vader and Star Wars, movies for fathers and sons to watch together)

Health and fitness (old age, secrets of longevity, how to live to a hundred, food for longevity, Ikaria, Okinawa, Andorra)

Christmas (Santa Claus, New Years resolutions)

Self-pity (chronic fatigue syndrome, CFS)

Politics (Democracy, liberals, conservatives, fascism, communism, does free speech matter, ideas and ideals)

Science (maths jokes, the fallacy of reductionism, does free will exist? scientific theories, opinions, facts, evolution)

Creativity (creativity in science and technology, wealth creation, knowledge, smash the glass ceiling)

Philosophy and stuff (the problem of evil, seeking the truth, a sense of wonder, questions and answers, changing your mind, opposing beliefs, the trap of ideas, do ideas deserve respect?)

Atheism (religion, belief systems, agnostics, the book of dawkins, evolution is only a theory, nihilism, the purpose of the universe, the meaning of life)

Money (economics, why is Andorra rich? tax, wealth creation)

Spirituality (searching for spirituality, religion and spirituality, conspiracy theories, the sacred and profane, communion with god, esoteric, yoga, pattern recognition, the quest for meaning, organized religions)

Words and language (swearing, originality, language malfunction, the importance of questions, sincere greetings, the purpose of brains and intelligence, words that should exist but don't)

Talking to myself (narcissism, blogging)

Writing (i am an author, self-publishing, free books, how to self-publish, how to blog, how to write)

Pedaling My Ass Off - A Weight Loss Story - Well, Kinda...

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY**

Pedaling My Ass Off is a weight loss story... well, kinda. It's a short but funny story about an attempt to lose weight by bicycling. Anyone who has tried, and failed, to lose weight - especially by exercising - will appreciate this story. Perfect for a quick read. Includes an excerpt from How to Tell When You're Really Old! Funny Happens When Kids Define Old Age.

Mastering the Real Paleo Diet: All You Can Eat Meat, and All You Can Handle Health and Leanness

"Be Perfect. Be Pure. Be Paleo."

Let's face it, modern humans are sick, fat, and pathetic. If only we could go back in time to the Stone Age when men were virile and strong, and women were free of menstrual cramps and birthed babies while carrying wild game on their backs. But wait, maybe we can! In his latest and most accessible book, Mastering the Real Paleo Diet, Dr. Willy Mammoth lays out the foundations for perfect health. It's simple, really. We just need to go back in time!

Evil Grains, Poisonous Dairy, and Deadly Agriculture

So if our ancestors were so healthy, happy, and strong, what the hell happened to us as a species? The answer is that we started eating all the wrong foods. Who cares if we've been eating grains and dairy for thousands of years--we never should have gone down that treacherous path in the first place. Cancer, heart disease, PMS, erectile dysfunction...it's a wonder we have even survived this long eating bread and cow milk. But survive we did, and now there is only one way back to health: Turn back! Be wild! Be free!

If You're Sitting on a Chair at a Computer, Then You Desperately Need This Book

Our Paleolithic ancestors had perfect posture and could have leaped tall buildings in a single bound (you know, if buildings had existed back then), and they didn't have computers, chairs, or cell phones. Obviously, this is why they enjoyed perfect health. After all, the paleo diet is not just a diet--it's a lifestyle. This book will help you to stop being so sick, sad, and sloppy with lifestyle recommendations that will change your life. You'll learn why it's essential to get out of that chair and start squatting today!

Download Mastering The Real Paleo Diet on Kindle now and read it while you stalk wild game in your loin cloth. (Spear sold separately.)

The Ghostly Ghastlys Book 1: FINDING A HOME (The Ghostly Ghastlys Series)

The Ghastly family are ghosts. They live in the castle above the town. Other ghosts live there too, because it is a haunted castle. Mr and Mrs Ghastly are singers and always busy with rehearsals and performances, so the little Ghastlys often do what they like.

What they like doing is to make the visitors scream. The little Ghastlys are very good at playing tricks, and people love to come and be frightened. But the other castle ghosts are mean and don't like that the little Ghastlys are more popular than them.

When the ghost children play tricks on the other ghosts, the Ghastly family is thrown out of the castle.

Finding a new home isn't easy. There is something wrong with everywhere they go: too shiny, too narrow, too open, too modern, too many people. At last they discover an old museum that hasn't been open for years. It seems ideal, but could other ghosts are already living there? If so, how will they get on with the mischievous little Ghastlys?

This is the first book in a new series called The Ghostly Ghastlys. The next book is called Branwing and Book 3 is Alfonso. Follow the adventures of the little Ghastlys and their friends.

To Cast A Cliche´ (A Just For Sh*#& and Giggles Short Story Book 2)

The evil Queen Lucinda exacts revenge on a royal poet by casting a spell of never-ending cliches upon the kingdom. Will the clever King Richard thwart his stepmother's magic and save the good people of Maxim? Test your literary knowledge and enjoy an entertaining spoof on fairytales.

Pathetic Sick Sniffy Pants: A funny, read-aloud, bedtime story for kids aged 5 to 9

[Insert the name of your child] travels back in time to Camelot and has some amazing - and rather odd - adventures while on a quest ... for shampoo.

This story appears in the collection "The Revolting Brains".

How To Keep Sparkly Emo Vampires Off Your Lawn

Back in the day, we never had a problem with these pesky sparkly vampires. Oh, we would get an occasional deer in the yard, or a squirrel, or even a raccoon, but never vampires. It was a peaceful, quiet little town in the Pacific Northwest called Spoon. We never caused anyone any trouble and they left us well enough alone.

But those days are gone. Now these emo vampires are everywhere. Not to mention those dang waxing werewolves. It's getting to the point where you can't even have a beer in the backyard without some blood sucking freak moping about.

From the Bottom Drawer of: Alan Zweibel: The Prize, The Ride Home, Sexting with Alan Dershowitz

Alan Zweibel dusts off some hilarious material written years ago that stand the test of time. An original Saturday Night Live writer, award winning author and playwright, Zweibel releases three never before published short stories: "The Prize", "The Ride Home", and "Sexting with Alan Dershowitz" pulled from Alan's Bottom Drawer delivered directly to your eReader. You'll be laughing within seconds...Okay, minutes...Okay, the next day. But that's still good, right?

"One of the best comedy writers around, Alan Zweibel is my bounce guy. We've been friends for so long we have our own comedic shorthand. We totally get each other's sense of humor."

- Larry David

"He's wonderfully funny and very smart and he's a big guy, but very sensitive."

- Billy Crystal

"Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world."

- Dave Barry

"Read Alan Zweibel and you'll be reminded of the likes of Robert Benchley and S.J. Perelman. You can't help but be moved by his warmth and insight even as you laugh your ass off."

- David Steinberg

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

An original Saturday Night Live writer who the New York Times said has "earned a place in the pantheon of American pop culture," Alan Zweibel has won multiple Emmy, Writers Guild, and TV Critics awards for his work in television which also includes "It's Garry Shandling's Show", "Monk", PBS's "Great Performances", and "Curb Your Enthusiasm".

A frequent guest on talk shows such as "The Late Show with David Letterman", Alan's many theatrical contributions include the Tony Award winning play "700 Sundays" which he collaborated on with Billy Crystal, Martin Short's Broadway hit "Fame Becomes Me", and the off-Broadway play "Bunny Bunny - Gilda Radner: A Sort of Romantic Comedy" which he adapted from his best-selling book.

Alan has written the 2006 Thurber Prize winning novel "The Other Shulman", the popular children's book "Our Tree Named Steve", and a collection of short stories and essays titled "Clothing Optional". His humor has also appeared in such diverse publications as Esquire, The Atlantic Monthly, The New York Times Op-Ed page, The Huffington Post, and MAD Magazine.

The co-writer of the screenplays for the films "Dragnet", "North", and "The Story of Us", Alan recently received an honorary PhD. from the State University of New York and in 2010 the Writers Guild, East gave him a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Alan is currently working with Billy Crystal on the feature film version of "700 Sundays" to be directed by Barry Levinson, executive producing a documentary mini-series for Showtime with Steve Carell and David Steinberg and writing a novel titled "Lunatics" with Dave Barry which Putnam is publishing in January. And on the TV screen he will be appearing as a new character in the upcoming season of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and in a short film for "Funny or Die".

But the production that Alan is most proud of is the family he's co-produced with his wife Robin, their children Lindsay, Sari, and Adam, Adam's wife Cori, and grandchildren Zachary and Alexis.

Cool as a Cucumber (The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs Book 2)

When there's a cockroach outbreak in the town of Cornville, only one man is as cool as a cucumber.

Mr Griffs isn't at all fazed by the cockroaches - not when he has a garden full of cucumbers. When news of his alternative remedy gets out, Mr Griffs is faced with an angry mob. Led by Steve Moran, Mr Griffs' arch nemesis, the cucumber thieves will stop at nothing to get what they want. Mr Griffs is forced to put aside his scientific research on wild bush turkeys and must do whatever is necessary to protect his flowerbeds, his garden, his house and his friends. Even if it means teaching Steve a lesson or two and setting the local council straight.

'Yes, the rumours are true. I do have home grown cucumbers and their skins deter cockroaches. They're also quite delicious, if I do say so myself. You can pickle them, put them in salads or even just eat them whole.'

The best sarcasm collection: fantastic sarcastic memes (sarcasm memes Book 5)

Are you looking to have fun? Then go on and read the perfect fit for your needs. In short, this book can make you laugh with over 600-700 memes that occur in our real lives.

April Fools Pranks: 31 Pranks for the Office

31 April Fools Day Pranks you can play at the office. Rock solid full of good clean fun that should be ok for most office settings. If you have ever wanted to play a good April Fools Day Joke on someone and didn't know what to do, this little joke book has 31 good choices.

There are even good suggestions for what you can do even if you aren't good at playing practical jokes on your co-workers. Very little preparation or cost involved. Most of the 31 April Fools practical jokes cost nothing.

April 1st is coming and if you don't have this little April Fool prank book - you can be assured someone in your office does. Be warned!

A Gila Monster From aFarr

When a science teacher finds himself cursed to live the life of a Gila monster, he must convince a high school student to help him break the spell.

hilarious school memes: remembering days of school

This book is meant to be read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

In this book, I've collected over 700+ funny school memes which makes you remember your lovely days at school.

I hope you enjoy a lot.

Ultimate sarcasm memes: sarcasm memes

sarcasm memes make us go crazy as most of the things relate to us in our real lives. In this book, I've gathered over more than 600 memes which makes you delighted. I hope you enjoy the sarcastic memes a lot.

fabulous school memes : funny memes: memes for kids

This book is meant to be read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

In this book, I've collected over 800+ funny school memes which makes you remember your lovely days at school.

I hope you enjoy a lot.

pokemon comic memes book : comic memes: funny pokemon memes

Pokemon is loved by all of us. In this book, I have made over 800+ memes which are very funny and awesome. I hope you enjoy the memes and forward it to your friends if you love and enjoy it.

Fabulous Tom and Jerry comic book

Tom and Jerry is loved by everyone irrespective of age and mostly loved by kids. I have collected over 600+ memes of Tom and Jerry. Hope you enjoy them a lot.

Hilarious Tom and jerry memes

Tom and Jerry is a fun for every one irrespective of the age. In this book, I have made over 850+ memes. I can assure you that all the fans of Tom and Jerry love these memes a lot.

The Bramble Patch of Katmandoodoo

A 2nd-person, read-aloud bedtime story for kids aged 4 to infinity ... where the listener is the star!

Onions make sandwiches tangy, so [insert the name of your child] goes off to the woods in search of the only onion in the world. But in the great Bramble Patch of Katmandoodoo lurk the dreaded Flinty-eyed Ninjas of Razzamatazz ...

Tom and Jerry memes : Crazy memes

Tom and Jerry is loved by all people irrespective of age and mostly loved by kids. I have collected over 300+ memes of Tom and Jerry. Hope you enjoy the memes a lot.

Legally Blonde in UAE: A Mini-Memoir

A mini-memoir about some hilarious times while Marsha Marie, an American, was living in United Arab Emirates as an English teacher. Not allowed to return to the States, Marsha chose UAE to be her new home.

Fabulous Pokemon memes : best pokemon memes

Pokemon is loved by all of us. In this book, I have made over 800+ memes which are very funny and awesome. I hope you enjoy the memes and forward it to your friends if you love and enjoy it. My suggestion for this book is to read until the end of the book so that you will find many surprising memes in the book.

Tiddlywink the Mouse

A collection of oddly surreal stories for unusual children, featuring a mouse and his friends - a squirrel, an elephant, a limpet and a fish - along with an assortment of mischievous clouds and cowardly mushrooms.

How to Master the Power of the Web: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died from heart failure, chronic valvular heart disease, and arteriosclerotic heart disease at age 85 in my home in Florida in 2000.

In life, I became a film star from the late 1930s to the 1950s. I appeared in numerous popular feature films, including Algiers (1938), I Take This Woman (1940), Comrade X (1940), Come Live With Me (1941), H.M. Pulham, Esq. (1941), and Samson and Delilah (1949).

I walked away from an unhappy marriage to an Austrian Fascist weapons manufacturer in 1937. In an attempt to stall my acting career, he brought me to his business meetings where I found myself listening to "fat bastards argue antiaircraft this, vacuum tube that."

I realized that by transmitting radio signals along rapidly changing, or "hopping," frequencies, American radio-guided weapons would be far more resilient to detection and jamming. The sequence of frequencies would be known by both the transmitter and receiver ahead of time, but to the German detectors their message would seem like gibberish.

The technology was far ahead of its time. Although my ideas were at first ignored, the technology was later used by the military--during the Cuban missile crisis in October 1962--and more recently employed in wireless technologies like smart phones.

As is the case with many of the famous women inventors, I received very little recognition of my innovative talent at the time; but before my death, I was showered with praise for my groundbreaking invention. In 1997, the Electronic Frontier Foundation honored me with a special Pioneer Award; and I became the first woman to receive the Invention Convention's BULBIE Gnass Spirit of Achievement Bronze Award, ironically the Academy Award of inventing.

Proving I was much more than just another pretty face, I shattered stereotypes and earned a place among the 20th century's most important women inventors. I was truly a visionary whose technological acumen was far ahead of its time.

Fed up with the nonsense tolerated on the World Wide Web, I want to help you master the power of the Web--to increase profits, promote security, and expand your brand!

>>> How to Master the Power of the Web is comprehensive, yet concise.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

How Not to Run for Pope

There once was a pope from Kentucky, or at least there almost was. The true story of one man's unintentionally humorous quest for Vatican power is finally being told.

The Dennis for Pope campaign promised to lower the tithing rate, shorten church services, and end "meatless Fridays" once and for all. This irreverent short book documents the outsider candidacy that challenged conventional wisdom and tested the boundaries of religion, politics, and (occasionally) good taste.

All Men Are Dogs

Dogs & Cats... Mars & Venus... Men & Women.

All men are dogs, and they only come in two types: those who think they aren't... and those who know they are.

And while they may come in a wide variety and multitude of shapes and sizes, the fact remains: they are still all dogs.

This eBook explores the canine and feline aspects of men and women while also being a celebration of all the animals we encounter on a typical day who make us all smile and say "Hooray!"

It includes animal-inspired slick-sayings, the ways of a manly man's man, cool quotes, a dog song sing-along, perspectives on why all dogs go to Heaven, and a fun survey titled: "100 Names of Dogs and Cats."

If you're an animal lover of any kind, this book is for you.

It celebrates the animal spirit in us all.

best collection of pokemon memes : latest pokemon memes: pokemon memes

Pokemon is loved by all of us. In this book, I have made over 1000+ memes which are very funny and awesome. I hope you enjoy the memes and forward it to your friends if you love and enjoy it.

Hilarious pokemon memes : super memes: Pokemon memes

Pokemon is loved by all of us. In this book, I have made over 700+ memes which are very funny and awesome. I hope you enjoy the memes and forward it to your friends if you love and enjoy it. My suggestion for this book is to read until the end of the book so that you will find many surprising memes in the book.

Are You Managing Your Website, Or Is the Web Managing You?: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died on October 5, 2011, at age 56, of pancreatic cancer--way too young to go.

In life, I was a computing entrepreneur and inventor; and I was the co-founder, chairman, and recognizable face of the world's greatest multinational technology company. I was the man behind the astonishing success of computer animation. I did more to determine what films we watch, how we listen to music, and how we work and play than any other person on the planet.

On my first job interview, I was competing against a Ph.D. in computer science and two candidates with MBAs. I had no academic credentials. But I was hired because I taught myself how to use and program a computer. My first boss told me he hired me because in the computer game, any device or program is obsolete when it first hits the showroom or the Internet. The critical key to computers is the feel that comes from trial and error, curiosity, and play. No institution of higher learning can prepare anyone to succeed in the computer game.

One of the things I've always found is that you've got to start with the customer experience and work backwards to the technology. You can't start with the technology and try to figure out where you are going to try to sell it. I've made this mistake probably more than anybody else, and I've gotten the scar tissue to prove it.

As I have tried to come up with a strategy and a vision for manufacturing computers, I asked, "What incredible benefits can we give to the customer? Where can we take the customer? Not with "Let's sit down with the engineers and figure out what awesome technology we have, and how are we going to market that."

I was described as a control freak and was known to have rejected hundreds of ideas in the quest for my idea of perfection. I frequently apologized for putting a bullet in the head of some things being working on, but I always had a larger vision. I said: "Focusing is about saying no. You've got to say no, no, no ... and the result of that focus is going to be some really great products where the total is much greater than the sum of the parts."

This inspired almost evangelical devotion among techno-geeks. I was the high-priest of the personal computer religion. My public performances were adulatory affairs akin to revivalist rallies. I wore a black turtleneck, jeans, and trainers. I preached the message that salvation lay in my latest gadget. I was the poet of the computer world. I'd gone to India and become a Buddhist. I took LSD and believed it had opened my mind to new ways of thinking.

My story - humble birth, rise and fall, miraculous comeback - was even likened by fanatical fans to the life of Christ.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

Sweet Sue's Golf Instruction for Women: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

In life, I became one of history's first female sports stars by mastering everything from basketball and track and field to softball, tennis, and even bowling. I broke records as a golfer, winning an unprecedented 82 amateur and professional tournaments before my untimely death at age 45.

After spending my youth beating the neighborhood boys in pickup sports games, I became a standout performer on my high school's basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis, golf, and swimming teams. At age 18, my skills caught the eye of the Employers Casualty Insurance Company who convinced me to quit school and play for its women's basketball team in the Amateur Athletic Union. It wasn't long before a brash and boastful "Sweet Sue" staked a claim as the league's top forward. I led my team in scoring during my debut game and was selected as an all-American for three straight years from 1930 to 1932.

Billing myself as the "World's Greatest Woman Athlete," I toured Chicago and New York with a variety show that included singing, harmonica playing, and sports-related stunts such as hitting plastic golf balls into the crowd. During an era when most women were making mere cents an hour, my wildly popular performances earned me as much as $1,200 per week.

I faced jabs from reporters that believed women had no place in athletics. "It would be much better if she and her ilk stayed at home, got themselves prettied up, and waited for the phone to ring," one sports columnist wrote in the New York World-Telegram. Other reporters demeaned me for being unladylike or claimed that I only excelled at sports because I couldn't attract attention from men. A few even suggested that I was a man in disguise.

In 1934, I turned my attention to playing competitive golf that I described as "a game of coordination, rhythm and grace." Four years later, I made history by entering the all-male Los Angeles Open, the first event on the Professional Golfers' Association calendar. I struggled at the tournament and missed the 36-hole cut, but my appearance marked the first time that a woman competed in a PGA Tour event.

My outsized ego often grated on my fellow golfers--I was fond of informing them that they were all playing for second--but I backed up my boasts with results. Between 1946 and 1947, I won 14 golf tournaments in a row, often annihilating my opponents in match play. The run also included a victory at the British Women's Amateur Championship that had never been won by an American. To this day, my 14-tournament winning streak remains the longest in golf history.

In 1953, I was diagnosed with colon cancer and forced to undergo emergency surgery and a colostomy. It was reported that I would never play golf again, but I returned to my winning ways a little more than a year later when I trounced the field at the 1954 U.S. Women's Open by a record margin of 12 strokes. My comeback saw me voted the Associated Press "Female Athlete of the Year" for the sixth time in my career.

My illness continued to intensify, however, and I passed away on September 27, 1956, at the age of 45.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

America First!: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I died at age 102 on February 6, 2017, in Manhattan. I had been sick earlier in 2017-- but I was sent home from the hospital after seeming to recover. My last meal consisted of ice cream and egg drop soup.

With an impish grin and wild hair, I was a nightclub and talk-show fixture and worked with stars from Jackie Gleason to Woody Allen. My admirers ranged from Damon Runyon to Lenny Bruce.

Billed as "The World's Foremost Authority," my guise as an absent-minded professor offered a way to poke fun at multisyllabic jargon and those who use it. When political or scientific authorities seemed to annex a chunk of language, there I was to claw it back -- a very human antidote to our complicated modern times.

My surreal brand of comedy was most potent when delivered in my seemingly nonsensical stream of non sequiturs. But the breadth of my career hints at my creative genius: Who else could have appeared in the 1976 film Car Wash two years after accepting a National Book Award on behalf of the reclusive Thomas Pynchon?

I thrived not only on lampooning the pretentious, but also on satirizing social institutions. In 1959-60, I ran for President years before Pat Paulsen of the Smothers Brothers fame did it. My campaign, on Hugh Hefner's Playboy ticket, mocked the system: "I will run for any party with bottle in hand," I said.

Dressed in my trademark outfit -- black swallowtail coat, string tie, and sneakers -- with my hair marching in several directions at once, I was a caricature of every windbag who ever emptied his lungs. I was also taking aim at everyone who did not share my unrepentant view of the world.

As Resident World Famous Authority, I spend my days and nights at the International Intelligence Institute with the ghosts of Albert Einstein and Kurt Godel. We are feverishly working on a time machine that can send a Portuguese Water Dog 10 minutes into the future.

Open Access Policy

You are free to share, copy, or redistribute the materials in this text in any medium or format. You are free to adapt, reuse, modify, transform, or build upon the materials in this text for any purpose whatsoever.

pokemon memes for kids : ultimate memes: memes for kids

Pokemon is loved by all of us. In this book, I have made over 700+ memes which are very funny and awesome. I hope you enjoy the memes and forward it to your friends if you love and enjoy it. My suggestion for this book is to read until the end of the book so that you will find many surprising memes in the book.

SOUNDS LIKE A COCONUT: CHIEF AND CHICKEN

A humorous commentary about conflict between friends or husband and wife

L.P. and the Skid: How did Skid get a date

Follow basement dwellers L.P. and the Skid solve some life mysteries. Like is Mom mad, How did Skid get a date, and why aren't there any Battle bot cover girls.

24 Modernized Aesop Fables: Teaching your children morals through storytelling

Aesop's Fables are a collection of fables credited to the great ancient Greek storyteller Aesop. His fables have been children's and adult's favorite fables through-out the centuries. Simple stories with powerful messages. This book, written by an English teacher, provides a humorous, modernized version of the fables. Most importantly it provides a thorough guide for parents on how to use the stories to educate their young ones. Dozens of morals, discussion topics, questions, fun activities and games are provided. A must for every parent.

Long Midnight of Barney Thomson (Book 1)

Barney Thomson, awkward, diffident, Glasgow barber, lives a life of desperate mediocrity. Shunned at work and at home, unable to break out of a twenty year rut, each dull day blends seamlessly into the next. However, there is no life so tedious that it cannot be spiced up by inadvertent murder, and a deranged psychopath.

Work Wife Balance

'This is well-written, very funny and I raced through it, occasionally squealing in horror at the antics of Kate's colleagues. It's also a joy to read about a strong woman with a big job and fiery opinions, a nice antidote to the sugary sweet sort of chick lit.' DAILY MAIL. Kate King is furiously flailing to keep afloat. As her team bicker, finger-point and cheat their way through rumours of sackings and site closures, her ill-tempered husband is becoming increasingly embittered and secretive. Kate knows she must address his petulant question: "Surely there's more to life than this?" but all her energies are required to dodge the corporate bullets constantly fired in her direction. Under pressure from an attractive, younger colleague, Kate is also concerned by her sudden invisibility to the opposite sex and the alarming appearance of back fat. Disturbingly, beige knitwear has started to call to her from the shelves of M&S. Growing more and more suspicious of her husband's activities, pressure builds on Kate both at work and at home until her turbulent year reaches its climactic end. Can she continue to balance precariously between work and marriage, or is one end of the scales going to hit the ground with a resounding thud?

Gobsmacked

Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge (The Bex Carter Series)

Thirteen-year-old Bex Carter has a lot on her plate. Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies. It turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her? Grades 5-8

Winging It!: Confessions of an Angel In Training

Ever decided to do something that seemed like a good idea and in the second before there's no turning back think, I musta been totally mental when I came up with this? And, then, Oh, well, here goes. That's how Angel-In-Training Grace Lightbourne felt right before she asked the Big Kahuna to go straight to Earth on a mission as a Guardian Angel. The problem? She never was a great student and now she won't even finish her last three years of school. To make matters worse, Archangel Michael isn't happy about her special assignment, but Grace is convinced she's on a fast track to her wings. How hard can it be? She's working with humans, after all. Winging It!, the first book in the Angel-in-Training series, is an irreverent, light hearted take on Angels, Heaven and everything else that's divine.

Shopping for a Billionaire 1

When mystery shopper Shannon Jacoby meets billionaire Declan McCormick with her hand down a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores, it's love at first flush in this hilarious new romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Julia Kent.

I fancied you until I saw you yawn

A collection of short, dark and spectacularly funny poetry that explores an alternative view of modern life. From using the cash machine, to sitting on the loo, "I fancied you until I saw you yawn" will take you on a journey you'll never forget. Brace yourself for the ride of your life!

Angus Adams: the adventures of a free-range kid: Volume 1 (The Free-Range Kid Mysteries)

As a free range kid, Angus is allowed to do things other kids his age aren't - like play in the street and hang out at the park without adults (shock, horror!) But when he's accused of stealing an iPhone from school, Angus must use all of his brains, resilience, and courage to catch the real thief, clear his name, and outwit the seriously bad dudes hot on his tail!

Year of the Brute (A Brute Story)

The Law of Attraction: Volume 1 (Lawyers In Love)

A funny, hot, and sexy new release from N.M. Silber Once upon a time two lawyers fell in love across a courtroom ... Gabrielle Ginsberg was a public defender with plenty of nerve and Braden Pierce was an assistant district attorney with a whole lot of swagger. Gabrielle wanted Braden and Braden wanted Gabrielle. And Cameron wanted Gabrielle. And Marla wanted Braden. And Cole wanted Gabrielle. And Mrs. Mason wanted Braden. And an anonymous letter writer wanted to keep Gabrielle and Braden apart. Together Gabrielle and Braden discovered many important things, like which doors at the courthouse actually locked, and that desks could be useful for more than writing. They also found out that the path of love was not always smooth, and it was sometimes trod upon by some really wacky people, like a confused fanny grabber, an eighty-two year old pothead and a gentleman who threw a wine and cheese party in his pants. Could true love overcome a lack of privacy, interference by jealous rivals and the insanity of the criminal court system? NOTICE: This book contains explicit descriptions of sexual situations and mature language. It is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.

Sergeant Smelly & Captain Chunder Save The Day

Will the evil Onionman conquer the world and fulfil his dream of world domination? Will Sergeant Smelly's fire-farts defeat the evil forces of doom and despair? Can the newly formed superhero duo of Sergeant Smelly and Captain Chunder save the day? Will farting ever stop being funny? Find out the answers to these questions and many more in the hilarious adventures of Sergeant Smelly and Captain Chunder.

Giggle Poetry Reading Lessons: A Successful Reading-Fluency Program Parents and Teachers Can Use to Dramatically Improve Reading Skills and Scores

Amy Buswell and Bruce Lansky's "Giggle Poetry Reading Lessons" turns struggling readers into happy readers For Grades 2 5. Many struggling readers are embarrassed to read aloud. They are often intimidated or bored by texts that conventional programs require them to practice. So, instead of catching up, they fall further behind. Currently 67% of American fourth graders can t read grade-level text. Reading specialist Amy Buswell has spent eight years looking for remediation methods that work. What is needed, Buswell explains, is a program that improves the motivation of struggling readers, because that accounts for 90% of the problem. Four years ago, Buswell came up with a brainstorm. She knew her best readers enjoyed reading Bruce Lansky s poetry books for pleasure. The more poems they read, the better the reading got. Why not use Lansky s kid-tested poems as texts struggling readers could practice on to improve their reading using six research-based strategies: choral reading, echo reading, paired reading, repeated reading, sustained silent reading and say it like the character reading. This book is the result of that brainstorm and the resulting collaboration between Buswell and Lansky. It gives teachers and parents everything they need to help children improve their reading: -35 kid-tested poems by Bruce Lansky -35 customized reading lessons by Amy Buswell -35 off-the-wall illustrations by Stephen Carpenter -35 sets of zany performance tips by Bruce Lansky all of which is designed to make the process of reading improvement more like fun than work. What Amy Buswell and Bruce Lansky have created is the most entertaining fluency intervention ever. That s why it is so successful at overcoming negative attitudes to improve reading skills and scores. Ninety-five percent of participating students made significant improvement in their fluency (reading rate). And average reading scores on the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test (FCAT) for Buswell s school raised her scho

Confessions of a Queen B*: Volume 1 (The Queen B*)

Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B-the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposes on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who's posting X-rated videos from the girls' locker room, she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she's never questioned-until now."

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

This book is wildly funny. I lost track of how many times I laughed out loud. - Kathleen, Amazon Reviewer Author Al Macy is a character and a tightwad with a unique sense of humor. He and his wife squirreled away enough money to retire early, do interesting things, and take unusual trips. As he puts it: "Every day I wake up with nothing to do, and by the end of the day, I've only gotten half of it done." During his working life, Macy was a neuroscientist, computer game programmer, jazz trombonist, chef, CEO, piano player, clam digger, and technical writer. The book is a journal of a car/bicycle/camping trip from California to St. Louis and back, but Macy promises that "if it starts sounding like one of your brother-in-law's boring slide shows, I will stop this book, and we'll turn around and go home. I mean it." Interspersed with the journal chapters, you'll find thought-provoking life tips, stories from the past, and descriptions of Al's wacky inventions. You'll hear poignant anecdotes about what happened when doctors discovered a golf-ball-sized tumor in his wife's brain and how everything they owned burned. But it's not a downer--trust me!

Claiming Victory: A Romantic Comedy: Volume 1 (The Dartmouth Diaries)

Claiming Victory is a funny contemporary romantic comedy that will appeal to every woman who still believes fairy tales can come true... ..."So let me get this straight Admiral. Your plan is to somehow get the most famous actor in the world, to fall in love with your daughter Victory, who we both love dearly, but - and please don't take offence Sir - who you yourself admit is built generously across the aft, and whose face is unlikely to launch the Dartmouth ferry, let alone a thousand ships..." Victory Shackleford is a spinster, or at least well on the way to becoming one. She is thirty two years old, still lives with her father - an eccentric retired Admiral, and the love of her life is a dog. She thinks her father is reckless, irresponsible, and totally incapable of looking after himself. He thinks his daughter is a boring nagging harpy with no imagination or sense of adventure and what's more, he's determined to get her married off. Unfortunately there's no one in the picturesque yachting town of Dartmouth that Tory is remotely interested in, despite her father's best efforts. But all that is about to change when she discovers that her madcap father has rented out their house as a location shoot for the biggest blockbuster of the year. As cast and crew descend, Tory's humdrum orderly existence is turned completely upside down, especially as the lead actor has just been voted the sexiest man on the planet... Full of romantic humor, Claiming Victory is a must for fans of funny love stories - especially quirky British Romantic comedies.

The Troll Trap (Smelly Trolls)

'Brilliant - Kids will laugh themselves silly' - The Independent. Rufus Sebbleford is the only boy in the world to have ever seen a real troll. So, when he finds out that trolls plan to attack Sludgeside School, he must stop them with the help of his good friend Polly. Meanwhile, the Super-Troll-Knobbly-Foot family decide to turn their backs on smelly bottoms and eating children. They don't want to be bad any more. So, they paint themselves orange and try to live like humans. However, being enormous, horned and slimy makes it difficult to blend in. Will Sludgeside ever be safe from the disgusting bad trolls and their horrifying leader, The Ogre of Uggle? A stinky, squelchy adventure packed with secret dens, tree climbing, troll traps and lots and lots of revolting smells. Reading age 8-10. Ideal to read aloud to younger children.

101+ Insect Jokes: Funny Bug Jokes

Max's Revenge: A wedding, a party and a plate of dog food stew: Volume 1 (The Max Books)

Max is out for revenge. In The Wedding, Max gets dumped from being the pageboy at his uncle's wedding. A five year old takes his place. Max isn't happy and he knows who is to blame. His evil aunt. Max wants revenge. Not just any revenge; but clever, satisfying revenge. Will he get his chance before the wedding is over? In Dog Food Stew, Max uncovers his aunt's evil plan to sell his nanna's house. But Max has a plan of his own. Will he stop his nanna's house from being sold and get revenge on his evil aunt? Revenge can be sweet, but it can also leave a funny taste. Book Categories: Adventure books for kids 9-12 Action books for kids 9-12 Series books for kids age 9-12 Children's adventure books age 9-12 Please scroll up and click the Look Inside feature on the top left hand side of the page.

151+ Blonde Jokes: Funny Blonde Jokes

The Funniest Blonde Jokes in the World!Did you know that laughing can have a positive physical and mental effects on the body! Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today!151+ funny blonde jokesHilarious blonde insults and humorHours of funny jokes and entertainmentAre you looking for funny and hilarious blonde jokes?With this MASSIVE collection of funny blonde jokes you can make everyone laugh! This book full of funny blonde jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book.Uses for funny jokes...Can aid in story-tellingGreat for conversation startersImproves conversation and social skillsCan make others laugh, smile, and be more playfulCan lighten tense moods and create repoire with othersLaugh until it hurts...Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?A: Someone said that the drinks were on the house.Funny Blonde Jokes!Q: How would a blonde kill a fish?A: She would try to drown it.HAHA!Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?A: Put her in front of a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say hello.Funny Blonde Jokes!Q: Why don't blondes like audio-books?A: There are no pictures.HAHA!Q: What is dumber than the blonde jokes above?A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.Funny Blonde Jokes!LOL Funny Jokes ClubThe LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Laugh until it hurts!Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!Tags: blonde jokes, b

Baby Love

The Future and Why We Should Avoid It: Killer Robots, the Apocalypse and Other Topics of Mild Concern

The future holds many unknowns: advances in medical technology, increased airport security and critical new inventions like sentient, polygraph-enabled, wireless toasters. Luckily, Maclean's columnist Scott Feschuk has written a survival guide -- part how-to manual, part product guide, part apocalypse analysis and part sardonic observation -- to help us navigate these troubled times. Or at least make us laugh while we try. The Future and Why We Should Avoid It envisions the daunting, depressing era we have to look forward to with the best of Feschuk's musings on aging, death, technology, inventions, health and leisure. Combining quizzes, voiceovers and speeches, and employing snark, innuendo, toilet humor and shameless mockery -- because how else do you cope with the fact that one day you will die? -- Feschuk contemplates the fate of humanity and the planet in the upcoming years, poking fun, provoking thought and dredging up silver linings in even the darkest forecasts.

Foggy's Blog

The Mucky Princess

A Very Foggy Christmas

I am Morten Astley Fogarty - insurance complaint handler, part-time barista and all-round entertainer. My career at the Perypils call centre has really taken off since my colleagues all voted for me to leave the team and transfer to complaints; I was chuffed to bits at being chosen! I love helping our customers resolve their concerns and as I've only received three death threats so far, I'm clearly doing something right. On Sundays, I work with an extremely talented Chef, Joe, who trained under the calming influence of Gordon Ramsay. Joe's party-trick is to hurl his bread knife through the kitchen hatch towards my head. He always deliberately misses, of course; we do have such fun! My girlfriend, Myra, is a wonderful actress and our director has tried her in lots of different positions. I know Myra is desperate to secure a leading part in our Christmas production, The Wizard of Oz and she has been scouring eBay for ruby slippers, size 9. Let's hope she can continue to satisfy the director!

Senseless Attraction

Poverty Reduction Policies and Practices in Developing Asia (Economic Studies in Inequality, Social Exclusion and Well-Being)

This book looks at the major policy challenges facing developing Asia and how the region sustains rapid economic growth to reduce multidimensional poverty through socially inclusive and environmentally sustainable measures. Asia is facing many challenges arising from population growth, rapid urbanization, provision of services, climate change and the need to redress declining growth after the global financial crisis. This book examines poverty and related issues and aims to advance the development of new tools and measurement of multidimensional poverty and poverty reduction policy analysis. The book covers a wide range of issues, including determinants and causes of poverty and its changes; consequences and impacts of poverty on human capital formation, growth and consumption; assessment of poverty strategies and policies; the role of government, NGOs and other institutions in poverty reduction; rural-urban migration and poverty; vulnerability to poverty; breakdown of poverty into chronic and transitory components; and a comparative study on poverty issues in Asia and other regions. The book will appeal to all those interested in economic development, resources, policies and economic welfare and growth.

Love Love

Gabrielle Willis is smart. She's funny. And oh yes, she's a bit klutzy. When Gabrielle left sunny California bound for the energy of Manhattan, she was willingly leaving the life she had known for the new life she would create. But was she really leaving something behind or was she running away? On the outside, Gabrielle Willis has it all under control. A new life in Manhattan, a great roommate, and a good job. But she is haunted. Haunted by a memory she's tried to forget and by a family who's abandoned her. But what happens when what's on the outside is only an illusion and in perfect contradiction to what's buried deep within? Enter Dane Rhodes. He's gorgeous, smart, and sexy as hell. Just what Gabby wants, or so she thinks. But when she meets Brad Dixon, the sweet guy with the crooked smile, he begins to make her see that the very thing she is trying to run from is the very thing that just may push her to see the light. **This book contains mature language and sexual content and is only recommended for readers 17 and older.**

Book Simulator

Off The Frame

After a tongue-in-cheek beginning that will seem very familiar, especially to younger readers, this short story bounces like a mis-hit tennis ball from one episode to another as it follows the progress of would-be tennis champ Jez on the trail to Wimbledon.

Chez Stinky: Volume 1 (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy)

Kat Stevens is a slightly insecure, mostly bored technical writer who likes her cat a lot more than her boss. She hasn't laid eyes on her great aunt Abigail since she was eight, so she's stumped when she inherits Abgail's house in the small hamlet of Alpine Grove. Kat's uncomplicated life gets decidedly less so when she discovers the inheritance comes with some hairy conditions: four dogs and five cats that her aunt wanted her to love as her own. Of course, the house smells like a barn - with a touch of antique skunk - and, naturally, has serious roof issues. And that's before the three-legged cat gets stuck in the wall and the shower goes kablooey. When Kat meets Joel, an unemployed techie type with no love lost for his sister, Kat looks past his obvious flaws, given his timely and desirable skill set: a talent for fixing things (and his own tools). Despite out-of-control dogs, cat fights, dust dinosaurs, massive spiders and an old grizzled hippie passed out in the yard, Kat discovers the tranquility of the forests of Alpine Grove starting to seep into her soul. And why she can't she stop thinking about Joel?

TOTLANDIA: Book 1 (The Onesies, Fall): Volume 1 (Totlandia Series)

IN BOOK 1 OF THE TOTLANDIA SERIES: The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children's playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city's ultra-competitive elite, the club's ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize. But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there's no room in the club for scandal, bad behavior, or imperfection...from tots or their moms. In a world of power and prestige, no one has more than Bettina. And as every mom in Pacific Heights knows, you simply cannot cross her. But this year's admissions process is more rigorous than ever, pitting prospective members against each other to prove their mettle. But four of the six candidates vying for the remaining four slots have a secret that would knock them out of the running. Jade is a former stripper and porn actress, who has been absent for most of her son's life. Jillian's husband cleaned out their joint accounts and left her for his pregnant assistant. Ally never even had a husband--just a sperm donor--and she's hiding a high-ranking corporate job. And Lorna fears that her son may have special needs... just the excuse her sister-in-law, Bettina, needs to deny her entry to the club. Can these hopeful moms keep up appearances long enough to outlast the competition? Or will their chances--and their private lives--go up in flames? Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. Welcome to Totlandia.

Max

Spud: Volume 1

Tom was just a normal kid who had a dog that was normal.He could chase a bull into a chicken coop and make him bellow. He wasn't scared of anything and had a strong dislike for rabbits. Whoever thought this dog would lead him on a chase across a field running from a scene that was sure to get him in trouble. With Tom crying, because he was laughing so hard. Who never knew that Tom would one day slip and fall. That no-one would be around to catch him, that he would be alone, with no-one around. That he would be drug through the woods, and awake just to find out that it was dark and that he was alone and hurt. Read and find out about Spud.

The United States of Air: A Satire

Food Enforcement Agent Jason Frolick believes in America. He believes in eating air. He struggles to get the food monkey off his back. As part of the Global War on Fat, his job is to put food terrorists in Fat Camp. When a pizza dealer gets whacked in the park across the street from the Thin House, the Prophet Jones himself asks Frolick to investigate. For the first time ever, Frolick solves a murder--but what he finds out shakes his faith. Will he ever be able to eat air again?

Finding Southern Comfort (Windy City Romance)

Harper Kirkpatrick is not what Cameron Bennett expects for the bachelor party in his Savannah mansion. She's desperate when he sends her home. Jobs are scarce and eviction looms. Former boyfriend Billy took off for California and she's too proud to head home to Chicago. Although Cameron may not go for her cheerleader kicks, he does admire Harper's spunk. When she answers his ad for a nanny, she's horrified to find herself back at his mansion. But she can't turn down the generous salary or Bella, the toddler with troubled eyes. Youngest in the Kirkpatrick clan, Harper's not an expert on kids. Neither is the young widower. Her head-strong personality soon puts her at odds with Cameron and his TV personality girlfriend, Kimmy Carrington. When she stands in for Kimmy at a Savannah gala, Harper and Cameron spark a fire that nearly burns down the dance floor. Never has the wrong man felt so right. Never has a boy from the south worked so hard to rev up the charm. Will the Windy City girl be able to put the heart back in his home? How can he convince her that his southern comfort has staying power?

Finding Harmony: Cypress Corners Book 1: Volume 1

A country girl committed to nature. A city guy with his eye on the bottom line. A battle of wills...a battle for balance And a love that can tip the scales Rick Chapman is climbing to the top rung of his father's corporate ladder. Fulfilling Chapman Financial's contract at Cypress Corners, Florida will finally prove his value to the company. And to his father. But one endangered weed, and the pretty plant girl trying to save it, could really screw up his plans. Harmony Brooks loves her job as a plant conservationist at Cypress Corners, and the money she earns allows her to make up for a former boyfriend's betrayal. He not only stole her parents' money, he stole her heart. And that's something she won't ever risk again. But opposites attract, not that she or Rick ever expected to fall in love. Can Harmony prove to Rick that he's worth so much more than his father's approval? Or is Rick so blind he can't see that loving Harmony is worth losing what he's wanted for so long?

Bearded

Tango Boat Dancers

From the earliest of times, leaders encouraged groups of people to accomplish difficult tasks. Issues associated with maintaining high levels of morale were critical to the success of the tasks at hand. During the 1930's, an Admiral seeks advice from a psychologist in regard to maintaining high levels of morale among sailors serving long tours at sea. A male and two female naval officers lead a team in a clinical trial to determine the effectiveness of a doctor's recommended cures to raise morale and cure homesickness.

Postcards From Home

Winner of the 2012 Global eBook Award for Humor, the collection of short stories in Postcards From Home explores the chaotic and often hilarious world of ?life in the family lane?, seen through the eyes of a mother of two precocious children. Tag along with Sylvia on excursions to the supermarket and road trips to the cottage; read about headstrong puppies and Halloween costumes gone wrong; and join the family as they prepare for Father's Day, Christmas holidays, impending job transfers, and the first week of school. Infused with large doses of tongue-in-cheek humor, the collection of stories in Postcards From Home will entertain you and at the same time make you thankful that you're not a member of Sylvia's little family.

Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet: Volume 1

Flo and Mo are not ordinary babies. Although they are only fourteen months old, they can use a computer, trick any mindless adult they want, and help their goofy detective father solve baffling crimes. Then a mysterious girl comes to their father, claiming that her grandmother has disappeared. Will the babies' superior brains be able to solve the mystery and save their bumbling parents?

Annie's 1st Break: The first book in the Annie McCauley romantic comedy mystery series: Volume 1 (The Annie McCauley Romantic Comedy Mysteries)

Look out New York City! Ms. Rayanne "Annie" McCauley from little old Mesa View, Texas has set her sights on being a high fashion model. Despite her humble beginnings in the Mesa View Mobile Home Park, hot tempered Annie thinks she can make it all the way to the cover of Women's Wear Daily (as long as she follows her own rules). She may also snag the heart of sexy Tomi Di Ponti, the CEO of Di Ponti Cosmetics and Fashions, but not without a lot of trouble from her arch rival, Brittany Carstairs, another alumnus of the trailer park and a woman who never met a nasty trick she didn't use. When it looks like things can't get any worse, along comes Luther Grolsch, handsome, dangerous and possibly the most annoying man Annie ever met. Hilarious situations and quirky characters make this romantic, comedy, mystery, adventure a must read. Annie McCauley has been described as the Calamity Jane of high fashion, but she may finally be getting her big break in the modeling world. She's moved to New York and rented a small apartment in Queens. Her best friend, Luis, a diminutive, gay, Latino, makeup artist lives right across the hall. She aced her first interview with handsome, Tomi Di Ponti and is ready for her second interview where she expects to be given the job as spokesmodel for the new Czarina line of cosmetics and fashions. But things rarely go smoothly for Annie and before she knows it, Brittany has pulled one of her dirty tricks and it looks like Annie may not get the job after all. However, with the help of Luis and the understanding of Tomi things seem to be working out. Brittany isn't easily beaten and through an elaborate plan it appears she's working against Annie behind the scenes. Comical mishaps, the Rigatoni, a vertically challenged gang of old world mobsters, and Nonni, the grandmother from hell all make Annie's dream seem just out of reach. Like Stephanie Plum, Annie is a hard working, good-hearted woman who may be in over her head. Enter Ida and her son, Luthe