Humour Humorous Verse Books

A Pun in the Oven

More ridiculously funny - and ridiculous - rhymes from the Loonyverse inside Phil Maund's head. Discover how the formerly naked Emperor got his revenge, why Clara the Clairvoyant was so upset, revisit Eentsy Weentsy Spider, and see the truth revealed about Archimedes and his bath. These and more will have you in more stitches than his wife's embroidery machine.

Rhymes My Mother Never Told Me

Recalling Shel Silverstein's "Falling Up" by way of Comedy Central's "South Park," Burkland's collection of bawdy rhymes is as clever as it is irreverent, skewering the politically correct at every turn. Never crossing the line into the profane, he is able to entertain while pushing the limits of the crude, silly, and sophomoric. Perfect bite-sized nuggets of hilarity that are sure to leave you laughing out loud, Rhymes My Mother Never Told Me tickles the funny bone as it challenges the status quo. Wonderfully playful and always mischievous, Burkland's debut defiantly thumbs its nose at the world of propriety and decorum. This collection features beloved classics such as: "Sweet Bread Farts," where Nick's special talent is having the gas he passes smell like freshly baked maple bars; "Tony's Tiny Bladder," where a boy with a tiny bladder goes from disgraced pants-wetter to superhero; and "Sammy Squirrel's Tragic Picnic," where Sammy Squirrel and his animal friends are enjoying a tasty picnic...until a speeding truck puts an end to their fun. The author turns the world on its head to find humor in the oddest of places. Illustrations by Duncan Beedie bring to life the wonderfully twisted world of taunting floaters, adventurous boogers, untimely sneezes and squirrels in imminent danger. Rhymes My Mother Never Told Me includes; Sweet Bread Farts Sammy Squirrel's Tragic Picnic When I sleep, I drool A Baby and his Coffee The Epic Tale of Nate's Booger Egg Salad Toes Jimmy vs. The Floater The Impact of Old Age on Jack, Who Was Once a Nimble Boy The Poop Between Her Toes An Untimely Sneeze The 7th Planet Big Bird and Barney Makeshift Candle The Zit on the Wart on My Chin Idunno & Idontcare Underwear Art Nose Hair Back Splash Sniffer the Dog Distinctive Chins Urinal Cakes An Older Sister's Perspective Santa's Annual Check-up My Spleen Does Very Little Scab Picker (and Eater) Tony's Tiny Bladder Misplacing Baby Emily While Finding a Deal on Beef Stew

poetry book: Einstein’s Cat: short book of funny, illustrated, original quick read poems (Get Your Wordsworth 1)

If Ogden Nash, Dr. Seuss and Friedrich Neitzsche got together to write a book of poetry for emerging adults, they'd probably be disappointed to find Tom Skinner had beaten them to the punch.

For children with inquisitive minds and a sense of adventure, this book of offbeat poetry blends creativity and entertaining turns of phrases to get readers aged 8-15 to think outside any boxes convention may impose.

Taking off on the works of the wild-haired Father of Physics, Einstein's Cat erases the equation from the blackboard and gives your children permission to think on their own. Yes, a clean slate!

This collection of poems will ignite your kids to reason on their own while developing unique views of life with its inconsistencies, diversity and immutable wonder.

Praise for Skinner's work:

'As a teacher, I know that kids and teens love ideas from left field, a play on words that makes them giggle, and stretches their creative language skills. Tom's book lifts poetry, puns and ideas from the ordinariness of life, to playful comments and musings...'

'I love Shel Silverstein books (who doesn't). But this book is something more, something different. The poems are full of voluptuous words and pleasurable word play that sit in your mouth like pieces of melting chocolate. Yes, they are that good.'

Some writers mistakenly talk down to young readers, while Tom speaks with his audience in a unique voice that is refreshing, encouraging, and adventurous.

So go ahead and read along with your kids and wrap your brains around such works as Einstein's Cat, Woks Happ'ning Bro? and Stop and Smell the (Grumpy) Roses.

Einstein's Cat is the first standalone book in the unconventional poetry-prose fusion collection, Get Your Wordsworth.

***For a limited time, you can get the latest book in the Get Your Wordsworth poetry collection, Overload, for free - click here to find out more > http://bit.do/TomsWordPlayRocks (just copy and paste into your browser)***

Interview with the AuthorQ - So, what makes the Get Your Wordsworth series special?

A - When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create a new type of poetry. A poetry-prose hybrid that was much less rigid, formal or technical than the traditional model and one that did not bore the buttocks off bright young people.

Overall, the Get Your Wordsworth series is designed for those, young and old alike, who appreciate the English language in all its nuanced, layered and textured glory and who can handle a judicious mix of the super silly and gently philosophical all imbued with a healthy dose of wry and dry humor!

Q - What order should I read the books in?

A - I've written the series so you can read the books in any order. If you do want to read them in the order they were written:

- Einstein's Cat

- Pavlov's Dog

- It's Slapstick

- Plain Crazy

- Too Much TV

- Tractor Gate

- Overload

Q - So, why should readers give these books a try?

A - Because the Get Your Wordsworth series is for mavericks and early adopters who are looking for urban, contemporary poetry prose with a twist for Generation Z who may not have the time, attention or inclination for more traditional poetry styles.

Ultimately, readers who think poetry is a tad tedious but who enjoy wit, whimsy, puns, satire and wordplay in a highly succinct, quick-read format, will get a kick out of this series.

Q - Can readers get the whole series in one go?

A - Sure. I've put together a box-set bundle if people want to save a little moolah and grab the first six books in one swoop. Check out my author page here at Amazon for more details, and a full list of my available titles.











Make Me Laugh Rhymes Vol 4: Humorous Kids Poems

Make Me Laugh Rhymes are full of clever concepts, interesting characters, strong rhymes and fun twists that tickle the funny bone of kids at all ages. Volume 4 includes, "Hoop Dreams", "Fatal Error", and "Little Debbie". These books have adorable illustrations to keep the pages turning. Enjoy the poems as fun bedtime bed-rhyme readers or anytime you want a laugh! Read them to your kids, or let them read the poems on their own. They will come to love poetry while they laugh.

Excerpt from "Little Debbie"

I have the sweetest sweetheart,

Little Debbie is her name.

I've loved her since my childhood,

My lunchtime playground flame.

Her kisses taste like chocolate,

She's soft and sweet inside.

I think that I'm addicted

To her cakes and rolls and pies.

- Download the book for the full content and have a giggle with your littles tonight!

I fancied you until I saw you yawn

A collection of short, dark and spectacularly funny poetry that explores an alternative view of modern life. From using the cash machine, to sitting on the loo, "I fancied you until I saw you yawn" will take you on a journey you'll never forget. Brace yourself for the ride of your life!

Awarewolf & Other Crhymes Against Humanity (Vot could be Verse?): A spasm of 49 vitriolic verses, hellacious haiku, pustulent poems, satanic sonnets and odious odes.

We all hate poetry, right? But we hate it a little less when it's hellgrown, twisted and wicked. Epic, even.

If this book were a pie, it would contain more than a measly four and twenty blackbirds, But it's not a pie, it's a spasm. Which is another word for pie, in a language you don't know. In fact it's even more than a spasm. It's a devil's banquet of adults-only offal comprising nine and forty (49) satanic sonnets, vitriolic verses and odious odes, Excerpts below:

AWAREWOLF

I came upon a golem

"encountered" one might say

eating dust as golems must

all bloody, muddy day.

WHO PUT THE ANAL IN ANALYSE

If all of the dead numbered more than the living

would reincarnation be viewed with misgiving?

Would the dead grit their teeth while waiting to rise?

(Oh who put the anal in analyse?)

THE WOLVES THAT WAS

Once a month beneath the moon

Their evil crimes recur

The wolves that was is incorrect

It is the wolves that were.

CIGARETTE BLUES

my teeth are yeller, my teeth are grey and brown

my teeth are yeller, my teeth are grey and brown

frickin' dentist, Lord, richest man in town

SHALL I SING TO THEE OF HATRED?

As you feed, the gentle drops of blood

caress thy cheeks like crimson tears, my love

calling forth sweet morphogenetic memories

of all the times we've slain together

the line of carcasses

stretching to eternity.

WARNING! Immature content. Unsuitable for adults.

The Pact

Do You Believe in Mermaids?

Who Put the Anal in Analyse?

How the Wizard Lost His Mojo

The Riddler

Drunken-Hearted Man

One Wonders Why Oneness

The Wolves That Was

Cigarette Blues

Awarewolf

The Ogre of Broken Hill

If Humans Are So Smart

Prey to Slay Today

140 Bird-Brained Stupidities

Patricidal

Limiting Limblessness

What is and What Will Never Be

Tea With Entropy

Divine Masturbation

Sex Now and Then

In The Office of The Lost & Found

Always Right

Global Warming's Habit-Forming

My Old Friend Zorro

Time for a Higher Orbit

Us and Them

Verisimilitude (Baked Liverwurst)

Written on the Sky

Left is Right

Day of Hammers

Tuesday: Size Matters But...

If My Thighs

Second Coming: in the Neighbourhood

The Traitor Word

Dark Sprite

On Writing for Posterity

Meditations in the Garden of the Beauvallon Bay Hotel

Childish Limerick

Disappointment

Not Easy Being Me

Dark Before the Dawn

The Secret of No Pain

Actually, Anne Actuary

Nightmare City

Killing Floor

Reading the Runes

The Prison of My Own Devising

Meaningless Crap, Illustrated

Shall I Sing to Thee Of Hatred?

Higher Quality Beatings

The Magic Money Tree

Big Book of Nonsense Part 1

Jam-packed with the very best nonsense rhymes and tricky tongue-twisters, this wonderfully exuberant collection contains quirky, color illustrations from Colin West and lashings of his wildly wacky verse! With sections such as 'Moments with Monsters' and 'Curious Creatures' this brilliant book features poems and wordplay to satisfy nonsense-lovers everywhere!

DREAMS AND THINGS

BUY THE BEAUTIFUL, FULL-COLOR PAPERBACK AT WWW.RYAN4A.COM

Dreams And Things is a picture poetry-book written by a Teacher to his Students. Each poem focuses on the topics of self-trust, choices, dealing with negativity, delayed gratification and more!

Come along as we dream, laugh, and learn!