Humour Books

Barry Loser: My Dad is a Loser (The Barry Loser Series)

My Dad is a Loser is a madcap must-read for boys who love funny books such as Mr Gum and Wimpy Kid.

For all non-loserish dads and their sons. Read this little book to find out why I, Barry Loser, am definitely not at all loserish, even though my dad definitely is. Praise for my other book, I Am Not A Loser, which is about 8 million times longer than this one:

'Brilliant' - My mum.

'Amazing' - Also my mum

Jim Smith's hilarious illustrated books with their distinctive style and comedy genius make him (and Barry, of course) the coolest - or 'keelest' - new writer of books for kids who love to have fun when they read. Fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid or David Walliams will love Barry Loser's stories. Jim is also the creator of Waldo Pancake.

Miranda and Me

Hello and welcome to the first book ever written by a dog - me, Miss Peggy Hart. I just couldn't wait any longer for Miranda's book all about me (Peggy and Me) to come out in October so decided to release my own book ahead of Miranda, and here it is!

It turns out I am not just pretty face. And what a pretty face I hear you say. I know. Just look at me. I like to say I look like a cloud breathed by angels. I just say it how I see it. But my skills are not just my incredible natural beauty, I am also quite the literary whizz. And I hope you like my book .

What's even more exciting is it contains Twitter stories from the nation's own #AndMe moments, the best of which Miranda and I have hand-selected to appear in this ebook! The great British public have spilled the beans on their own doting companions, canine or otherwise. Oh and it also contains a sneak preview from Peggy and Me AND an exclusive introduction from none other than moi and Miranda. Expect laughter and tears - fuelled by a rich reserve of chaotic cats, pompous pooches and the odd human along the way.

I do so hope you like it because I love you very much and want to make you happy. I am lovely like that. Lots of licks and woofs to you and I hope to meet you in person one day.

The Pegster signing out (but do follow me on Twitter @realpeggyhart).

Funny Stories for Kids: Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves: (Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Fractured Fairy Tales, Parody Books, Free Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

What would the story of "Snow White" be like if the princess was an idiot, the evil queen was completely incompetent, and the dwarves, instead of being happy and silly, were instead super gross and mean? The answer: "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves," a comedy short story that is so awesome you'll have to read it to believe it. (Brought to you by the famed Dweezel and Pallie.)

"[A] funny and clever little book... I like this version even better than the original story."

Chytach18, Reviewer for OnlineBookClub.org

"An amazing story, and hilariously funny to boot, perfect for kids and adults alike!"

Angela, Amazon UK reader

"It made me laugh. Grossed me out. Then makes you laugh some more."

Thelma Coots, Amazon reader

"One word : FUNNY! A new way of reading Snow White"

Isienie V., Amazon reader

*****

Take your expectations for a fairy tale and throw them out the window! A noble prince? Lame. A humble princess? What a loser! A happy ending? You wish. This eBook is way better than all that. It will make you giggle, laugh, and ask for more. Either that, or it will make you scream for it all to stop. The only way to know is to read it. Download "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" now!

The Funny Stories for Kids series, written/recorded by Dr. Dexter Dweezel and Professor Parnassus Pallie, is an ongoing effort to make fairy tales less crappy. "Lily White and the Horrible Dwarves" is the first in this series, with more to come.

**Note: This story is not for babies. It can be crude, and has jokes about butts, poo, and drunk people. It also has a bit of cartoony violence. There is no swearing or sexual activity. If this story had a MPGG rating it would probably be PG, and would be comparable to a modern episode of the Simpsons.**

49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom (The 49. Series Book 1)

Is your bedroom a tip?... Did you forget to tidy?... Can you hear the sound of parental footsteps getting closer and closer?... Here's 49 (extremely silly) excuses for not tidying your bedroom!

Join the comical adventure of these mischievous kids who will try absolutely anything to get away with not tidying their bedrooms. With an illustration for each haphazard attempt, you're guaranteed to laugh, smirk, and chuckle for hours.

Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won't help you get away with having a messy bedroom.

Recommended Age: 10+

A Pun in the Oven

More ridiculously funny - and ridiculous - rhymes from the Loonyverse inside Phil Maund's head. Discover how the formerly naked Emperor got his revenge, why Clara the Clairvoyant was so upset, revisit Eentsy Weentsy Spider, and see the truth revealed about Archimedes and his bath. These and more will have you in more stitches than his wife's embroidery machine.

Love and Chaos: (Standalone Bad Boy Romance) (Growing Pains Book 4)

From USA Today Bestselling author, Willow Summers, is a hilarious and steamy romance.

It was supposed to be easy. Just a quick trip to the wine country to help her good friend, Peter.

She never expected to meet his bad boy brother...

Muscled, tattooed, and riding a Harley, Jace has Cassie's heart racing and blood boiling. Struggling to keep her desire on a tight leash, she must do everything she can to keep Peter's secret. But resisting that dimpled smile is harder than she could've ever imagined...

A standalone book based on the bestselling Growing Pains series. HEA. No cliffhanger!

Revolting Rhymers: Competition Winners

The Winning Entries of the most REVOLTING Poetry Competition!



To celebrate the BBC's new two-part animation of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, the Roald Dahl Literary Estate launched a poetry competition with a twist, asking chiddlers far and wide to submit their most revolting - and humorous rhymes. We were inundated with thousands of disgusterous entries! To discover our winners, we waded through burps, farts and rotten eggs; bogies, vile stew and goo to find the funniest and most revolting specimens. This eBook contains the creme de la phlegm-hand picked by children's author, songwriter and McFly frontman, Tom Fletcher, and Wales's Children's Poet Laureate, Anni Llyn.

A huge thank you to our revolting partners Puffin Books, the National Literacy Trust, Literature Wales, Magic Light, and the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre for all their help and support!

Story Stack: Action-packed story starters for ages 6-8 and 9-12

Not sure what to get the kids to read next? Let them decide! Story Stack includes Chapters 1-4 of the following fun, fast-paced and popular illustrated chapter books by Karen Inglis: Henry Haynes and the Great Escape (for 6-8yrs) | Eeek! The Runaway Alien (for 7-10yrs) | Chapter 1 of Walter Brown and the Magician's Hat (for 7-9yrs) PLUS Chapters 1-3 of The Secret Lake (for 8-12 yrs). The Secret Lake is Karen's bestselling time travel mystery adventure story, enjoyed by over 7,000 readers. Karen has been praised by teachers, librarians, parents and reading charities for getting the most reluctant readers turning the pages. Full books available to order in print and/or for Kindle once the kids have had their say :)

Order with one click for free today - we think the kids and preteens will be back for more...!

Best Jokes 2014

One hundred of hilarious and funny jokes !

Have fun and laugh!

Lily Loves to Love: ROM-COM FUN FICTION

Have you ever read a book and thought I do not want the main character to end up with the predictable hero? I wish she had gotten with the other man instead. Well here is your chance to change that scenario and choose whom you would like Lily to love. In this book, many comical things tend to happen to and around Lily Lockhart. As she deals with her job, her love life and her family, not to mention her friends so like a lot of us, she is simply an ordinary woman trying to survive this modern world and not always getting it right before mistakes come back to bite her on the bum. As the quirky but loveable girl just cannot help herself sometimes. This is all before trying her hand at a spot of charity work, when she decides that life is far too short to spend it selfishly.

At the start of the year, she ends her engagement and before long, there is plenty of male interest heading her way. We are talking 'The Handsome One' (Sean) and 'The Funny One' (Tom). In addition, there is also 'The Rich One' (Peter) but Lily cannot choose between them. Therefore, in the closing chapters, it is down to you 'the reader' to decide who wins Lily's heart since there is a fun multiple-choice style ending to the story. Will you pick the boyfriend, the best friend or the boss? Only one problem, she is pregnant so 'who's the daddy'.

poetry book: Einstein’s Cat: short book of funny, illustrated, original quick read poems (Get Your Wordsworth 1)

If Ogden Nash, Dr. Seuss and Friedrich Neitzsche got together to write a book of poetry for emerging adults, they'd probably be disappointed to find Tom Skinner had beaten them to the punch.

For children with inquisitive minds and a sense of adventure, this book of offbeat poetry blends creativity and entertaining turns of phrases to get readers aged 8-15 to think outside any boxes convention may impose.

Taking off on the works of the wild-haired Father of Physics, Einstein's Cat erases the equation from the blackboard and gives your children permission to think on their own. Yes, a clean slate!

This collection of poems will ignite your kids to reason on their own while developing unique views of life with its inconsistencies, diversity and immutable wonder.

Praise for Skinner's work:

'As a teacher, I know that kids and teens love ideas from left field, a play on words that makes them giggle, and stretches their creative language skills. Tom's book lifts poetry, puns and ideas from the ordinariness of life, to playful comments and musings...'

'I love Shel Silverstein books (who doesn't). But this book is something more, something different. The poems are full of voluptuous words and pleasurable word play that sit in your mouth like pieces of melting chocolate. Yes, they are that good.'

Some writers mistakenly talk down to young readers, while Tom speaks with his audience in a unique voice that is refreshing, encouraging, and adventurous.

So go ahead and read along with your kids and wrap your brains around such works as Einstein's Cat, Woks Happ'ning Bro? and Stop and Smell the (Grumpy) Roses.

Einstein's Cat is the first standalone book in the unconventional poetry-prose fusion collection, Get Your Wordsworth.

***For a limited time, you can get the latest book in the Get Your Wordsworth poetry collection, Overload, for free - click here to find out more > http://bit.do/TomsWordPlayRocks (just copy and paste into your browser)***

Interview with the AuthorQ - So, what makes the Get Your Wordsworth series special?

A - When I set out to write these books, I wanted to create a new type of poetry. A poetry-prose hybrid that was much less rigid, formal or technical than the traditional model and one that did not bore the buttocks off bright young people.

Overall, the Get Your Wordsworth series is designed for those, young and old alike, who appreciate the English language in all its nuanced, layered and textured glory and who can handle a judicious mix of the super silly and gently philosophical all imbued with a healthy dose of wry and dry humor!

Q - What order should I read the books in?

A - I've written the series so you can read the books in any order. If you do want to read them in the order they were written:

- Einstein's Cat

- Pavlov's Dog

- It's Slapstick

- Plain Crazy

- Too Much TV

- Tractor Gate

- Overload

Q - So, why should readers give these books a try?

A - Because the Get Your Wordsworth series is for mavericks and early adopters who are looking for urban, contemporary poetry prose with a twist for Generation Z who may not have the time, attention or inclination for more traditional poetry styles.

Ultimately, readers who think poetry is a tad tedious but who enjoy wit, whimsy, puns, satire and wordplay in a highly succinct, quick-read format, will get a kick out of this series.

Q - Can readers get the whole series in one go?

A - Sure. I've put together a box-set bundle if people want to save a little moolah and grab the first six books in one swoop. Check out my author page here at Amazon for more details, and a full list of my available titles.











The Women Who Love Rome

Rome is a rich, successful movie producer accustomed to having his way; Thursday is sweet, naive, and eager to please. When the two ex-lovers cross paths, it's love at first sight all over again.

After an explosive reunion, Thursday learns that Rome now shares his home with two ladyloves and has every intention of making her his newest conquest. Together, they embark on a daring, unorthodox living arrangement that pushes the boundaries of lust, love, and the forbidden.

101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

Sex and humor. 101 hilarious and dirty jokes for adults.

Burn's World - In every love triangle, a heart must break : A romantic suspense, Interracial romance book: (Book 1)

"If you've ever stalked your ex on Facebook, or cried when the man you loved married another, then you will love Burn's World." Amazon Reviewer for romantic crime stories

******

"If you've ever stalked your ex on Facebook, or cried when the man you loved married another, then you will love Burn's World." Amazon Reviewer

*********

When the school star athlete, blue-eyed, blonde haired, Brody McGraw asks Burn out, she can hardly believe her luck. Brody is crazy about Burn, she is crazy about Brody, and it is a huge thrill to finally change her relationship status on Facebook to 'In a relationship.'

However, Brody's mother has huge political plans for her family, and she makes it clear that they do not include someone like mixed-race Burn. Because of Dawn's rejection, Burn suffers severe bouts of self-loathing and eventually makes a decision that breaks her heart - she walks away from Brody and his racist family. Brody is crushed and tries desperately to change Burn's mind.

Enter Trojan Catrell, a street thug, and an enemy of Brody McGraw. He's noticed Brody and Burn together, and since he holds a grudge against the over privileged Brody, he decides that he's going to make Burn his. Bad boy Trojan sets about wooing Burn.

There's a problem: Burn's not interested in Trojan and his tattoos. Her heart still longs for Brody McGraw, despite everything. There's a bigger problem: Trojan has no intention of taking no for an answer. In fact, when Burn rejects him, he becomes obsessed with her, especially since he's never been rejected by a woman before.

Then there's an even bigger problem: Brody is furious at Trojan's gall, and swears to find a way to get even with Trojan.

Then there's an even bigger problem, huge! Trojan is possessive, jealous and dangerous. He is not someone you should cross. Ever.

Yet ... Burn manages to cross him. The result is an explosion of epic proportion.

Book Two of Burn's World - When You Touch Me Like That, is available for sale and is free on kindleunlimited.

Reviews:

"Once you read this book every other book you read after it pales in comparison."

"If you see Eve Rabi as the author of a book, you can guarantee it will be well worth the money to read. Her Burn series are exciting, sensual, and realistic." Amazon reviewer

"Very good read. I just started reading it yesterday and I just couldn't put it down."

"This book was great. Rabi writing was unique and interesting. I was laughing and reading, even took a longer break just to keep reading."

"I loved it. I laughed, I got angry enough to pause my kindle, and I cried. I'm a picky reader and I'm glad this book didn't leave me asking for a refund."

"This is a smokin' hot series. I am addicted, I can't wait for each book."

YouTube video:

http://youtu.be/JAXPeXrP5

Have you got Eve's Rabi's free books? If you haven't, click on www.everabi.wordpress.com & for a limited time download 4 free books!

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134.2 QI Facts to Leave You Flabbergasted: Free EBook Sampler

'This may look like a free ebook sampler, but it's actually a portal. While you may read this in just twenty minutes, each little nugget is only the visible tip of an information iceberg.'

In this free ebook sampler to accompany the new book 1,342 QI Facts To Leave You Flabbergasted, come face-to-face with some of the most mind-blowing facts in the QI universe, such as: The sun gets 4 million tons lighter every second; The first scientifically named dinosaur bone was called Scrotum humanum because it looked like a giant pair of human testicles; A 'batman' was a unit of weight in the Ottoman Empire. Ben Affleck weighs about nine batmans; Making all the chain mail for The Lord of the Rings wore the costume designers' fingerprints away.

Enjoy the incredible world of QI facts.

150 Knock! Knock! Jokes

150 hilarious knock knock jokes to keep the kids amused, with lots of charming illustrations.

Nerd Power (Diary of a Boy Genius Book 1)

Cody Greer has made it. He's finally in the sixth grade and king of the world. Or, at least, king of his school. Cody has a lot going for him but has only one thing on his mind-winning the heart of the new girl in school, Sarah Davis.

But who knew that the sixth grade could be so much work? Almost immediately, Cody defends Sarah's honor, plays his arch-rival, Eric Mullen, in the championship football game and still manages to somehow find time to be the lead in the school play.

And as he navigates through the treacherous waters of his final year at Wenchester Elementary-as he experiences his first love, his first kiss, a painful loss, and more fun and laughs and tears than he ever bargained for-Cody Greer will discover the true meaning of friendship and learn that life has a funny way of throwing you a few curve balls. Luckily, Cody knows just how to keep his eye on the ball.

REVIEWS:

"What a fun ride! Night displays an uncanny knack to capture the thoughts and language of youth. Nerd Power is heroic, funny, and most of all, real."

-Summer Lee, author of Beach Angel

"Nerd Power is pitch-perfect. More than anything, the author is a natural born storyteller. Think Nicholas Sparks meets Judy Blume. The story itself is inspiring and hilarious and will stay with you for some time to come. Night captures the thoughts and feelings of six-graders everywhere in a wonderfully touching and moving tale."

-J.R. Rain, author of The Mystery of the Walking Statue

"This is why I love reading! Nerd Power is hilarious, thought-provoking and poignant!"

-Elaine Babich, author You Never Called Me Princess

"Sweet and heart-warming. I absolutely fell in love with Nerd Power."

-Leilani Bennett, author of As I Fade

The Haunted Dollhouse (The Ghost Store)

Lottie Landers is 15 years old. She can see ghosts and she helps them with any unfinished business.

In this first story, Lottie's dad brings a dollhouse into the family store. A ghost is attached to it. It doesn't take Lottie long to connect with the ghost, but when she does, her heart fills with sadness.

This is going to be a difficult case for Lottie, but she is determined to help the ghost.

Sinister Inventions (For Smoother Living)

Innocence, the stupidest boy in the world, is convinced killer mosquitoes from the sun are coming to destroy Earth. So he sets out on a quest to persuade Liquorice, a reclusive inventor girl, to sew up the hole in the Ozone layer to keep them out. Together they must save the world! (If only Liquorice would take him seriously...)

It's got KitKat-addicted pheasants, it's got a space rocket, it's got mouldy orange juice, it's got a shady-eyed, evil boss... And yes, it's even got a curly-whiskered cat called Dame Bartholomew Crustacean!

Sooner or Later...You Will Get Caught

**SHORT STORY**TRUE STORY

Kids often do things they know they shouldn't do. And they all think they won't get caught. But this true story proves the adage - "It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but sooner or later....you WILL get caught"

This fun read begins with a young girl, and her budding career in parental note forgery. Thirty years later, it comes back to haunt her in the most amusing way -proving once and for all that what goes around, comes around! Perfect short read for those "waiting for the kids to get out of school/practice/dance/etc." moments.

Includes a bonus excerpt from Stranger Danger - How to Talk to Kids About Strangers.

The Submarine Full of Bees: A Bedtime Story For Kids Aged 5 to 10

A Bedtime Story With Added Buzz

This story is a little bit different from other stories. Usually stories are about other people but this story is about you. And usually stories are made up but this story is all true. It's about the amazing underwater adventure you had today with those bees.

I know what you're thinking: you're thinking: I didn't have an adventure with any bees today!

Oh yes you did! But you can't remember because that magic flower made you forget.

Let me explain ...

****************************

In this humorous and wildly imaginative read-aloud bedtime tale, the listener hears about a submarine expedition he/she embarked upon earlier that day to explore the uncharted depths of a muddy puddle. It's one of the thirty-one stories that make up the critically acclaimed collection A Month of Bedtime Stories, oh yes it is!

Reviews of A Month of Bedtime Stories:

A wonderful book well worth adding to any collection - Book Reviews and Giveaways

I loved each one and never once was ready to put the book down - Chodi Kid Books

Looney, wacky, imaginative and borderline crazy tales that McFarlane pens with absolute abandon - Grady Harp, Hall of Fame Top 100 Reviewer / Vine Voice

Grab a copy today

Contaminated Samples

A free sampler containing the outrageous first chapters from Frankie's three books My Shit Life So Far, Work! Consume! Die! and Scotland's Jesus. Perfect for when you want to feel deeply offended.

MY SHIT LIFE SO FAR: 'I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking "Why would anyone want to know this shit?" I've always read them thinking "I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!"'

So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it.

WORK! CONSUME DIE!: Stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell.

SCOTLAND'S JESUS: Reading Scotland's Jesus should be like being called into the living room by your child shouting that they see a little red dot on the head of a TV newscaster, then riding the white hot bullet through the propaganda circuitry of his or her exploding brain.

Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)

In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.

Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.

Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.

Double the excitement.

Triple the laughs.

Paintbrush illustrations.

This is...

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Two Legs, Three Legs, Four Legs: More Rescue Dog Stories With Duncan the Canine Tripod and his Friends Seamus, Shannon and Minnie (The Long, The Short and The Tall Book 2)

Meet the "Gang of Four", Seamus, Shannon, Minnie and Duncan the Canine Tripod.

All Rescue Dogs, they became firm friends over the years. Their story was told in Book One. "The Long, The Short and The Tall. Life with Rescue Dogs."

Now the Gang rides again! Read some more of their stories: happy stories, scary stories, but always true stories. Enjoy a walk out with them over Pendle Hill. Learn how Duncan almost lost another leg!

Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you. Whether you laugh or cry, this book will move you.

Hug (the Pug)

Hug (the Pug) tells the tale of a cute little pug who is on a quest for friendship, however, will his bladder problem prevent him from making friends?

Ward of the Flies: A Child Counselor's F*ck-My-Life True Story

Clint Looney baby-sits the insane.

To land his dream job in gifted education, Clint needs experience. He takes the only position available: counselor at a summer camp for disturbed children. But school never taught him to handle real-world crazy.

To get the job recommendations they need, Clint and his co-workers must wow their A-hole boss. Only the swarming, psychotic, merciless kids stand in their way.

From the hick towns of upstate New York to the rampant, muggy forests of the Hudson River Valley, Clint and company match wits with America's worst young minds. Watch as they scale the treetops, dodge flying poo and chase naked, howling teens through the forest. They wanted a resume builder. They got a marathon of madness. Will they go on to bigger, better lives, or work at camp forever? Can Clint escape the Ward of the Flies?

A Lonely Dog on Christmas

Christmas Day is fast approaching. For Beckham, the family bulldog, it means just another year of being ignored while chaos and mayhem reign throughout the house. In this holiday short story full of laughter and family dysfunction, Beckham narrates an ill-conceived plan to create an unforgettable landmark moment in order to reclaim the spotlight as the center of attention. As the extended family gathers to make merry and observe their annual tradition, Beckham has another idea in mind to celebrate and make it a day to remember.

A Lonely Dog on Christmas is not intended for children and contains language unsuitable for young readers.

Risking it All: The Rosewoods - A Short Story

Things are not going well for Brady Fleming, Rosewood equestrian coach and Olympic hopeful. Thanks to a careless fall off his horse, he is now on crutches - out of training and a job. Not to mention he's had to promise Brooklyn he'll back off so they could be just friends, which is the last thing he wants. The worst part is he knows she's into him too; she's as much as admitted it. And that kiss... There is no denying their chemistry after that kiss at the costume dance. But he can't date a student and he balked when she asked him if he was willing to risk it all to be with her. Now that his job and training are on hold, his outlook has changed and he's beginning to realize what really matters and what he wants from his life.

Maybe that girl who showed up on campus and turned his heart inside out is worth risking everything for after all.

Read Risking it All, a short story from Brady's perspective, in preparation for Making Ripples, The Rosewoods book 6.

A Month of Bedtime Stories: the First Five Stories (and off you went to the woods)

The first five stories of the highly praised collection, "A Month of Bedtime Stories".

Children will love being the main character and hearing about the adventures they had earlier in the day. ("You don't remember? It must have been that bonk on the head that made you forget!") Parents too will enjoy the humor and imagination of this book of immersive, read-aloud bedtime tales.

Angry Granny (Angry Granny Adventures Book 1)

Hilarious adventures abound as Granny comes to live with her grandson and his parents. It is rarely an easy transition when aging parents and grandparents find they need to live with their children, and Angry Granny is no exception. But, on top of Granny's declining memory, she has lost her filter. So, be prepared because even though her grandson isn't used to hearing curse words Angry Granny is about to change that as she regularly let's the a-word fly. It's cute. It's funny. And, it's touching as the experience of having Angry Granny in the house will take you from laughing to saying "oh my" and right back to giggling again.

Rob Alex and Boegley Alex co-wrote Angry Granny, but it all started when Daddy (Rob) started telling Angry Granny bedtime stories to Boegley. The laughter and giggles that poured forth from the bedroom could be heard all the way downstairs. After a few weeks and a long list of Angry Granny adventures, this father-son duo decided to share their knee slapping and sometimes shocking stories with the world. Get ready because these two will take you on quite a journey alongside Angry Granny, and they just may share more of Granny's adventures as time goes by.

Quinceys Quirky Quiz Books Photo Dingbats Volume One: Photo Puzzles Volume 1

If you like to watch Catchphrase, then take a look at this book of Photo Dingbats that I have created.

These puzzles are known by various names such as Rebuses, Pictograms and Dingbats. They consist of a picture that represents a well known saying or word or phrase.

Keep your brain active with this volume of fifty puzzles.

Stare into the Cat: And Other Poems About Animals and Nihilism

Enter the void with your favorite pet or trash-eating animal friend. Stare Into the Cat is a modern and absurd dive into existential nihilism through whimsical poetry. Joining you on this mind-warping journey are various cats, dogs, and opossums. Illustrated in glorious black and white by the author. Includes poems such as "Cats are Aliens," "The Secret About Possums," "Evil Babies," "You Can't Handle the Void," "Harrison Ford's Nose," "Shipwrecked on the Isle of Marriage," "Heavy Metal," "Slapstick," "Cosmic Lasagna," "Smarty Cat," and many more.

Hettford Witch Hunt, Series One: Comedy Horror

"With subtle humor and a charming regional voice, James Rhodes cleverly crafts a story of vengeance, mystery and witchcraft. Deftly weaving the ordinary and supernatural Rhodes leads readers along a path strewn with dreary workaday details offset by exciting glimpses of an otherworld that threatens to destroy the safety of the mundane."

-Kirsten Imani Kasai, Author: Ice Song, Tattoo, Del Rey Books

Gary Turlough is falling deeper into his post-graduate slump as each day goes by. He is in a dead-end job with no prospects and, following a slight indiscretion with a local goth, his girlfriend is one more mistake away from heading back to New Zealand. Life in the small village of Hettford would be tough enough without the spirits of two 18th Century witches plotting to kill his only two friends.

Milton and Dan are the real ale drinking hill-walkers of witch hunting: Nobody may believe them, nobody may reward them and they might not ever accomplish very much but nonetheless they remain devoted to their cause. With a slick sitcom format this novel is a must have for fans of paranormal comedy.

SERIES TWO: Available now!

The Book That Proves Time Travel Happens - FREE PREVIEW EDITION (The First 7 Chapters)



This never-before-seen twist on time travel adventure explores the theme of accepting those who are different--and having the courage to join them. The moment Ambrose Brody steps into a fortune-teller's tent, he is whisked into a quest that spans millennia with his best friend, an enigmatic carnival girl, and an unusual family heirloom that drops them into the middle of the nineteenth century!

The year 1852 is a dangerous time for three non-white children, and they must work together to dodge slave-catchers and save ancestors from certain death--all while figuring out how to get back to the future. Fortunately, they have a guide in the helpful hints embedded in an ancient Chinese text called the I-Ching, which they interpret using Morse Code. But how can a three-thousand-year-old book be sending messages into the future through a code developed in the 1830s? Find out in this mind-bending, time-bending adventure!

Taking Off

A few years after graduating college, Ty was fed up with "working" and "acting responsibly like every other adult is expected to," and chose instead to quit his job and backpack across Europe and Asia. Taking Off is the mostly true memoir of his trip.

Yes, this may come as a shock, but a twenty-something wrote about his experiences travelling. Kind of like when Ashley from HR sent you the link to her vacation blog. The differences being that this book is longer, has less pictures of Ashley in a bikini, and gives you no real obligation to read it since you'll never bump into Ty in the break room where he'll ask you how you liked it. But regardless of obligation, you can still appreciate this book, as it consists of several humorous, interesting, and worthwhile anecdotes that are way more interesting than anything that self-absorbed narcissist Ashley could ever write.

This book is completely, 100% free. So if you're interested, give it a read. If you like it, tell a friend about how good it was. If you don't like it, lie to an enemy about how good it was. Either way, make sure to flaunt the book's completion to someone. You're literate for God's sake, and the contemptible people with whom you surround yourself need to be made aware of your superiority.

Summer Lovin' (Seasons of Love Book 1)

Everyone should have at least one wild fling on their resume.

Mia volunteers to dogsit for two weeks, giving her a chance to figure out the next step in her life, and career. She discovers it's not easy chasing after a puppy with a shoe fetish, but there's a reward for all her troubles: the hunky guy next door.

Luke is a workaholic chef forced to take two weeks' vacation, and at first he's sure the downtime might kill him. But then he gets to know his temporary neighbor. She's sexy and fun, and all of a sudden, two weeks isn't nearly enough time.

Hot Shots FC

This is the first book in the 'stupidly funny' football series, Hot Shots FC. It is for children aimed 6-12 who like football, or being silly, or laughing out loud again and again!

It follows the fortunes of Hat Trick Boy, who is selected to join local side Hammers FC. But there is a problem: his friends aren't picked. So Hat Trick Boy has to choose between his friends and his football, and he makes a mistake. He deserts his friends and decides to join the rather rough Hammers FC. But he doesn't know his friends are about to set up the greatest junior football club ever, Hot Shots FC...

Ink (Short Films Book 1)

It's Victoria 1945, and a lady's high tea is never meant to be this shocking.

Obey The Rules: A free extract from The Rules

A FREE colour Ebook featuring extracts from The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple - available for a limited time only.



The Velominati embrace cycling not just as a pastime or a means of travel, but as a way of life - as obsessed with style, heritage, authenticity and wisdom as with performance.

THE RULES is their Bible, and is an essential part of every cyclist's arsenal.

The Epic Santa Chase: An Angus Adams Christmas Short Story

What would you do if a thief in a Santa costume took off with your iPad? If you're anything like Angus Adams, you might embark on a wild chase across the city, although perhaps not with a giant chicken and a nun in tow. Determined to stop the thief, Angus uses everything he's got and more. This fast paced story will have you running alongside him right up until the surprise ending that you won't see coming.

(A Christmas short-story for kids 9-12 years.)

They Win. You Lose.: Sex, Violence & Songs from the Shows (The Implosion Saga (Book 1))

They Win. You Lose. By Stan Arnold

Sex, Violence and Songs from the Shows.

They Win. You Lose. is the first book of The Implosion Saga. It's a very funny thriller. Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers. They drink too much and don't earn enough.

So when the Mafia come calling, demanding back rent of ?6,000, they have ten minutes to do a runner. All they have is an old Morris Traveller (a Woodie, if you're in the US) and a tank full of petrol.

Their sudden flight takes them to the sex trade in Southsea, out-of-body experiences, horrendous amateur dramatics, Death Metal pubs, foul-mouthed, 80-year-old punk grannies and hit men dressed in pink Mexican outfits.

Under constant threat from enforcers, they get offered a mystery job in Las Vegas. When they arrive, six Reservoir Dogs' lookalikes are waiting for them. They make their escape using the world's most mercenary taxi driver.

During the next 24 hours, they chicken out a freight train, walk six moonlit miles across the desert with cactus-punctured groins, find out what badly manufactured LSD can do to you, avoid Thelma and Louise suicide-a-likes, have sex with Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, make a commitment in front of a Bourbon-fuelled Elvis at Big Derek's Gay Marriage Emporium and blow up a Harley Davidson. The final showdown takes place with the mafia boss in the world's most unspeakably lurid theatrical environment. A very neat twist propels them from sudden death into a totally different way of life.

Or does it?

Charlie The Pissed Off Mutt

Charlie is a dog who suffers from anger issues. Trying to impress his owner, his number one goal in life is to become a house dog. Things are looking good until Jasper the stray dog shows up uninvited. Pissed off, Charlie has to come up with a plan to get rid of Jasper once and for all.

Part 2 is Available Now at This Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XO8OXTO

Useless Crap From Around the House: The Sullivan Family Garage Sale

Comedy writer Danno Sullivan has LOTS of useless crap--and now it's for sale!

This parody-style book of comedy and wordplay features very funny for-sale adverts and means you may finally be able to buy things like:

-Gluten-free gluten.

-Archaic measurements

-Boring speaker presentation kit

-Big Book of Presidential Knock-Knock Jokes

-Constant ongoing banging sound with echo

-Faulty palindrome

-Rare recording of Abraham Lincoln's voice

Over 200 useless items, complete with comic descriptions and fake prices.

For fans of funny wordplay in the vein of Benchley, Thurber, and Groucho Marx, or fans of classic comedy like the Goons, Monty Python, and Groucho Marx, this little book will likely be a huge disapointment, but it's mostly spelled and punctuated correctly, so at least there's that.

Scroll up now to click that big, friendly button and get your copy!

Zitch the Witch in the Halloween Cat-astrophe

It's Halloween, and Zitch is ready to celebrate in all her witchy goodness...but then, her cat goes missing!

She's not too worried until she finds a note and realizes that her cat might have been cat-napped by a bunch of zombies!

Find out what happens in this, the second book featuring Zitch the Witch.

A short story written in rhyming couplets.

A Beginners Guide to Criminality: how to be a successful villain

So you're thinking of converting to a life of crime; contemplating turning your back on society and normality for an alternative vocation; giving serious consideration to saying "t'hell with the laws of the land!" and "I'm going out to take what's not rightfully mine!"?

Who can blame you! In these times of high unemployment, low wages, austerity cuts, increased cost of living and social decay (not to mention a faltering judicial system) why wouldn't you consider a slightly unorthodox profession? After all, the latest games consoles, interactive TV's and new cars don't come cheap - not to mention booze and cigarettes!

Maybe you've tried the conventional Monday to Friday, nine to five existence and decided that lifestyle just isn't for you. Perhaps you've never worked a day in your life and criminality comes naturally to your clan and as such a life of crime is your destiny - upholding the proud family name.

Venturing down the criminal path is not a decision to be taken lightly though; there are many factors you must consider in advance if you want to make the most of your villainous plans. This short guide will provide all you need to know about crossing over to the dark side and setting off on your journey of self-discovery and debauchery as you pillage and plunder your way up the criminal ladder from petty thief, to powerful crime lord.

PC Allo Allo Allo IQ & PC Truncheon Carrier: Car Crash

PC Allo Allo Allo IQ and PC Truncheon Carrier are at the scene of a car crash. Contains violence, strong language and adult themes. Adult Comic Strip. WARNING: For adults only.

Raise Your Glass: Stuck in the Twilight Saga SPECIAL EDITION!

Often wonder what it is like from a guy's perceptive, being stuck in a line between two Twilight fans? This writer does! 'Raise Your Glass' is a harmless jab at the Twilight saga buzz.

It might offend some 'Twi-Hards' out there.

****

Reviews:

"This is really funny. My sister and my friend are on Team Edward and me and my friend's sister are on Team Jacob. We've had countless arguments like this when we're walking home from school. You captured the heated moments between Team Jacob fans and Team Edward fans. Awesome job."

"I've raised my beer to Ron, the next one will be raise in his honor as well. I watched the first Twilight movie and mourn that time lost. I also know what it's like to be forced to do something you don't want to by someone you love."

****

Reviews:

"I AM one of those crazy Twilight fans, and I appreciated this slice of TwiLife from the put-upon husband's point of view. "Next time you go to the bar, drink to Sir Ron: the man of all men." Cheers to you, Sir Ron. Lit-crazed book girls like me do indeed drag our boyfriends/girlfriends to things like this, so it made me smile."

"Wow... What a man! That woman has a good husband."

"This was hilarious."

The Ghostly Ghastlys Book 1: FINDING A HOME (The Ghostly Ghastlys Series)

The Ghastly family are ghosts. They live in the castle above the town. Other ghosts live there too, because it is a haunted castle. Mr and Mrs Ghastly are singers and always busy with rehearsals and performances, so the little Ghastlys often do what they like.

What they like doing is to make the visitors scream. The little Ghastlys are very good at playing tricks, and people love to come and be frightened. But the other castle ghosts are mean and don't like that the little Ghastlys are more popular than them.

When the ghost children play tricks on the other ghosts, the Ghastly family is thrown out of the castle.

Finding a new home isn't easy. There is something wrong with everywhere they go: too shiny, too narrow, too open, too modern, too many people. At last they discover an old museum that hasn't been open for years. It seems ideal, but could other ghosts are already living there? If so, how will they get on with the mischievous little Ghastlys?

This is the first book in a new series called The Ghostly Ghastlys. The next book is called Branwing and Book 3 is Alfonso. Follow the adventures of the little Ghastlys and their friends.

Smug Slug

The small-but-mighty tale of a sea slug who proves that he has what it takes to defeat a Great White shark, a venomous sea snake, and even a Giant Squid! Hilarious inspiration for kids, new graduates, and anyone else that needs a boost in confidence.

Knock Knock Jokes: Funniest Knock knock jokes For everyone.

Funniest Knock knock jokes For everyone.

The Heiress & The Detective: The Thin Man's Nick & Nora: Origin (Scott F Neve's Prequels, Sequels and Parodies Book 7)

A series of tragic events precedes the marriage of the classiest sleuthing couple ever. The west coast heiress meets the east coast detective for the first time in San Francisco. The life of the girl's father is being threatened by a blackmailer who is someone very close to the family. Trigger-happy cops, high society dames, and murderous fugitives cause mayhem for the heiress. Can the detective solve the mystery, foil the villain, and win the girl's heart? Or will this really be his last case?

Big Book of Nonsense Part 1

Jam-packed with the very best nonsense rhymes and tricky tongue-twisters, this wonderfully exuberant collection contains quirky, color illustrations from Colin West and lashings of his wildly wacky verse! With sections such as 'Moments with Monsters' and 'Curious Creatures' this brilliant book features poems and wordplay to satisfy nonsense-lovers everywhere!

It's Destiny, My Love: Romance, Surprise & Drama !!

"May destiny be in your favour

The more you chase it, the further it slips away.

Aditya's tryst with fate and the unbeatable combination between destiny and desire reinvents and reshapes his life journey.

Family disappointments, a broken love affair and workplace challenges force him to rise to the occasion and transform himself from a subdued into a rebellious survivor.

Will he be able to rise to the occasion and deliver his best?

Beat the same people who think he is a toddler at their own game?

Will he realize his dream of acquiring a personal jetliner, a metaphor and a benchmark for pursuit of success?

Read this gripping & inspiring story of; love and break up, deceit and success, against all odds."

Romance, Surprise & Drama !

Sponsored by the Mob: An Improbable Dream A Ruthless Mobster An Opportunity You Can't Refuse

The Godfather becomes a multilevel marketing distributor.

And while most MLM entrepreneurs abandon their dream after the forth or fifth prospect tells them to take a hike, Don Vespucci demonstrates that a guy really can succeed in this business.

One simply needs to be known as a serious man to be treated with respect. And that he is.

Before federal authorities or the other New York crime families know what's going on, the Vespucci gang is getting filthy rich moving truckloads of vitamins, cosmetics, and weight loss shakes.

But their biggest seller is Low Suds Detergent 25--LSD25 for short. And that acronym incites even more confusion amongst gangsters, news reporters, and law enforcement.

Before the story reaches its exciting climax at the Annual Corporate Awards Convention in Hawaii, multiple government agencies, U.S. Senators, and even a sitting United States president have gotten mixed up in a nefarious enterprise that intertwines drugs, prostitution, and cleaning products.

The final shootout at the convention takes a twist that forever changes the American entrepreneurial landscape.

This darkly humorous romp through two misunderstood enterprises may be just what you need to get your own business underway--whether it is one of those misunderstood home-based dreams, or some other undertaking for which success or failure hinges upon your persistence, your persuasiveness, and your reputation.

Mr. Bond and the Last Laugh (Scott F Neve's Prequels, Sequels and Parodies Book 6)

Mr. Bond was the type of British gentleman who enjoyed the best. Yet now he was not wearing a playboy's smoking jacket. He was trapped in an ornate silk straight jacket. There was no Swedish masseuse or nubile protege to rescue him from his boredom. This was all too real. The dapper hero of the world was imprisoned in a mental hospital being interviewed by his Oriental physician. "Tell me all about your love life," the doctor demanded with dry humor. The handsome spy's face twisted into a wry grin as he laughed and then he asked, "Where should I begin?"

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE.

A collection of short story writing that eventually got me asked to leave our local U3A writing group!

I ask any reader to assess what was wrong, and why I should be ostracised.

I hope you enjoy what is written, perhaps a room filled with laughter and sometimes pathos is "not quite the done thing" in any local U3A?

Make Me Laugh Rhymes Vol 1: Humorous Poems for Kids

Make Me Laugh Rhymes are funny poems full of clever concepts, interesting characters, strong rhymes and fun twists that tickle the funny bone of kids at all ages. Volume 1 includes, "Spooks in My Closet", "Creepy Camp out", and "Witches for Hire". These books have adorable illustrations to keep the pages turning. Enjoy the poems as fun bedtime bed-rhyme readers or anytime you want a laugh!

Excerpt from "Witches for Hire"

Wizards and warlocks and witches galore,

Are all for rent at my magical store.

Did you miss your flight, need to get there quick?

We sell cheap rides on our new broomstick.

- Download the book for the full content and have a giggle with your littles tonight!

40 Strange Groups

Do YOU have trouble putting IKEA furniture together? Yes? Here's a Buddhist group who can help

40 secret groups that are surrounded in mystery. Little is known about them, hence the shortness of the book and the low price.

Buddhists for Peaceful Ikea Furniture Assembly (BPIFA)

Buddhists belonging to this group can be phoned by purchasers of Ikea flat-pack furniture and asked to come along to the purchaser's home to provide a peaceful environment when the furniture is being put together. BPIFA have discovered a more harmonious environment promotes more peaceful furniture assemblage and encourage IKEA customers to use their services.

The BPIFA even bring along spare Allen keys just in case there aren't enough provided. One satisfied customer, George T Trent of Oklahoma said, "Without those Buddhists, why that furniture might still be unmade to this day - those Oms really calmed me down, especially when I felt like shooting the instructions with ma shotgun. Those Buddhists really made things easy. They were non-threatening in every way, but I am not sure I could wear orange all day."

The Islay Whisky Cyclists.

There are 8 whisky distilleries on the isle of Islay. Ardbeg, Bowmore, Bruichladdich, Bunnahabhain, Caol Ila, Kilchoman, Lagavulin, and Laphroaig. The IWC holds an annual cycle race between all 8 distilleries. The public roads are shut for the day and the cyclists are only allowed to eat food once they have crossed the finishing line, though few people manage this feat and most of them don't remember doing so.

The race begins at 8am in the capital of Islay, Bowmore. The cyclists are only allowed to drink a maximum of one pint of water during the race. Each of the distilleries is visited in alphabetical order in even-numbered years and in reverse-alphabetical order in odd-numbered years. At each stop, the cyclist must drink an eighth of a pint of whisky from that distillery before getting on their bike and wobbling off towards the next distillery, which is signposted. Cyclists can stop and wheel their bikes or even fall asleep at the side of the road for an hour, if they wish. Cyclists must finish with the bike they started with.

Where is Freddie cat?

Where is Freddie?

Is he in the washing machine or under the bath, behind the dry stone wall, or trying to climb the tall tree in the corner of the garden?

Freddie was a cat who loved bread and would steal it whenever he could, even if it meant biting into a sandwich that was on my plate when I was holding it. We would then play tug-of-war with the sandwich, which wasn't designed to be used for this sport. Freddie would take the sandwich somewhere inaccessible and I would have to clean up the mess.

The Woman Who Met Her Match

After yet another disaster, Lorrie is calling time on online dating. She might be single in her forties, but she's got a good job, wonderful children and she's happy. This, Lorrie decides, is going to have to be enough. That is, until she receives a very unexpected request from France. Antoine Rousseau, who had once turned a lonely French exchange trip into a summer of romance, wants to see her - after thirty years. But Lorrie is a responsible woman. She can't exactly run off to Nice with the man who broke her teenage heart . . . can she? This paperback book has 378 pages and measures: 19.8 x 12.9 x 2.5cm approx.

Candide

Candide is a French satire first published in 1759 by Voltaire, a philosopher of the Age of Enlightenment. The novella has been widely translated, with English versions titled Candide: or, All for the Best (1759); Candide: or, The Optimist (1762); and Candide: or, Optimism (1947). It begins with a young man, Candide, who is living a sheltered life in an Edenic paradise and being indoctrinated with Leibnizian optimism (or simply "optimism") by his mentor, Professor Pangloss. The work describes the abrupt cessation of this lifestyle, followed by Candide's slow, painful disillusionment as he witnesses and experiences great hardships in the world. Voltaire concludes with Candide, if not rejecting optimism outright, advocating a deeply practical precept, "we must cultivate our garden," in lieu of the Leibnizian mantra of Pangloss, "all is for the best" in the "best of all possible worlds." Candide is characterised by its sarcastic tone as well as by its erratic, fantastical and fast-moving plot. A picaresque novel with a story similar to that of a more serious bildungsroman, it parodies many adventure and romance cliches, the struggles of which are caricatured in a tone that is mordantly matter-of-fact. Still, the events discussed are often based on historical happenings, such as the Seven Years' War and the 1755 Lisbon earthquake. As philosophers of Voltaire's day contended with the problem of evil, so too does Candide in this short novel, albeit more directly and humorously. Voltaire ridicules religion, theologians, governments, armies, philosophies, and philosophers through allegory; most conspicuously, he assaults Leibniz and his optimism. As expected by Voltaire, Candide has enjoyed both great success and great scandal. Immediately after its secretive publication, the book was widely banned because it contained religious blasphemy, political sedition and intellectual hostility hidden under a thin veil of naivete. However, with its sharp wit and insightful portrayal

Year of the Brute (A Brute Story)

100+ Knock Knock Jokes: Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Funny Jokes for Kids)

Best-Selling Joke Book for Kids!Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body!This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home.100+ knock knock funny jokesExcellent for early and beginner readersHours of fun and entertainment for kids and childrenGreat for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloudFunny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults.From this Funny Joke Book...Knock knock!Who's there?Bless!Bless who?I didn't sneeze!LOL!Knock knock!Who's there?Auntie!Auntie who?Auntie glad to see me again!HAHA!Knock knock!Who's there?Zeke!Zeke who?Zeke and ye shall find!LOL!Knock knock!Who's there?Arnie!Arnie who!Arnie having fun?HAHA!Knock knock!Who's there?Carl!Carl who?Carl get you there faster than walking will!Best-Selling Author Johnny B. LaughingThe Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs!WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically!Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jo

Diary of NINJA BOY & Fartypants: Everybody hates Mondays

Hi, my name is Manny Monday. I wish my parents could have named me something cool like Mad Dog Monday, or Muscles Monday. But here I am, good ole Manny. At least I have fartypants. He's my best friend. And when things get serious? That's when I become Ninja Boy...people get saved, girlfriends get rescued, and butts get kicked!

The Magic Money Tree

Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge (The Bex Carter Series)

Thirteen-year-old Bex Carter has a lot on her plate. Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies. It turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her? Grades 5-8

Work Wife Balance

'This is well-written, very funny and I raced through it, occasionally squealing in horror at the antics of Kate's colleagues. It's also a joy to read about a strong woman with a big job and fiery opinions, a nice antidote to the sugary sweet sort of chick lit.' DAILY MAIL. Kate King is furiously flailing to keep afloat. As her team bicker, finger-point and cheat their way through rumours of sackings and site closures, her ill-tempered husband is becoming increasingly embittered and secretive. Kate knows she must address his petulant question: "Surely there's more to life than this?" but all her energies are required to dodge the corporate bullets constantly fired in her direction. Under pressure from an attractive, younger colleague, Kate is also concerned by her sudden invisibility to the opposite sex and the alarming appearance of back fat. Disturbingly, beige knitwear has started to call to her from the shelves of M&S. Growing more and more suspicious of her husband's activities, pressure builds on Kate both at work and at home until her turbulent year reaches its climactic end. Can she continue to balance precariously between work and marriage, or is one end of the scales going to hit the ground with a resounding thud?

Angus Adams: the adventures of a free-range kid: Volume 1 (The Free-Range Kid Mysteries)

As a free range kid, Angus is allowed to do things other kids his age aren't - like play in the street and hang out at the park without adults (shock, horror!) But when he's accused of stealing an iPhone from school, Angus must use all of his brains, resilience, and courage to catch the real thief, clear his name, and outwit the seriously bad dudes hot on his tail!

Winging It!: Confessions of an Angel In Training

Ever decided to do something that seemed like a good idea and in the second before there's no turning back think, I musta been totally mental when I came up with this? And, then, Oh, well, here goes. That's how Angel-In-Training Grace Lightbourne felt right before she asked the Big Kahuna to go straight to Earth on a mission as a Guardian Angel. The problem? She never was a great student and now she won't even finish her last three years of school. To make matters worse, Archangel Michael isn't happy about her special assignment, but Grace is convinced she's on a fast track to her wings. How hard can it be? She's working with humans, after all. Winging It!, the first book in the Angel-in-Training series, is an irreverent, light hearted take on Angels, Heaven and everything else that's divine.

I fancied you until I saw you yawn

A collection of short, dark and spectacularly funny poetry that explores an alternative view of modern life. From using the cash machine, to sitting on the loo, "I fancied you until I saw you yawn" will take you on a journey you'll never forget. Brace yourself for the ride of your life!

The Law of Attraction: Volume 1 (Lawyers In Love)

A funny, hot, and sexy new release from N.M. Silber Once upon a time two lawyers fell in love across a courtroom ... Gabrielle Ginsberg was a public defender with plenty of nerve and Braden Pierce was an assistant district attorney with a whole lot of swagger. Gabrielle wanted Braden and Braden wanted Gabrielle. And Cameron wanted Gabrielle. And Marla wanted Braden. And Cole wanted Gabrielle. And Mrs. Mason wanted Braden. And an anonymous letter writer wanted to keep Gabrielle and Braden apart. Together Gabrielle and Braden discovered many important things, like which doors at the courthouse actually locked, and that desks could be useful for more than writing. They also found out that the path of love was not always smooth, and it was sometimes trod upon by some really wacky people, like a confused fanny grabber, an eighty-two year old pothead and a gentleman who threw a wine and cheese party in his pants. Could true love overcome a lack of privacy, interference by jealous rivals and the insanity of the criminal court system? NOTICE: This book contains explicit descriptions of sexual situations and mature language. It is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.

Sergeant Smelly & Captain Chunder Save The Day

Will the evil Onionman conquer the world and fulfil his dream of world domination? Will Sergeant Smelly's fire-farts defeat the evil forces of doom and despair? Can the newly formed superhero duo of Sergeant Smelly and Captain Chunder save the day? Will farting ever stop being funny? Find out the answers to these questions and many more in the hilarious adventures of Sergeant Smelly and Captain Chunder.

Stanley Stickle Hates Homework: Volume 1

Stanley Stickle HATES homework and he'll do almost anything to get out of doing it. In Stanley Stickle HATES homework, Stanley discovers that there is a Big Test coming up at school.To prepare for the Big Test everyone is to be given EXTRA homework and Stanley thinks he gets too much of it already. Stanley hatches a cunning plan to get out of doing the test but when his master plan fails he becomes increasingly desperate.

Human Resources For The Heart, The Soul, and The FunnyBone

Human Resources for the Heart, the Soul, and the FunnyBone is a compilation of real life staffing stories written by HR Professional, Mark Boyer. They were designed to inspire, to motivate and to enlighten professionals in the HR and Staffing industry, as well as those with aspirations to join their ranks. I dedicate these experiences to my peers out there who sometimes need to take a breath, sit back count to ten, and yes, maybe even pick up a book once in a while to remind us exactly why it is we do, what we do. This book is for you.

Confessions of a Queen B*: Volume 1 (The Queen B*)

Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B-the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposes on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who's posting X-rated videos from the girls' locker room, she'll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she's never questioned-until now."

The Troll Trap (Smelly Trolls)

'Brilliant - Kids will laugh themselves silly' - The Independent. Rufus Sebbleford is the only boy in the world to have ever seen a real troll. So, when he finds out that trolls plan to attack Sludgeside School, he must stop them with the help of his good friend Polly. Meanwhile, the Super-Troll-Knobbly-Foot family decide to turn their backs on smelly bottoms and eating children. They don't want to be bad any more. So, they paint themselves orange and try to live like humans. However, being enormous, horned and slimy makes it difficult to blend in. Will Sludgeside ever be safe from the disgusting bad trolls and their horrifying leader, The Ogre of Uggle? A stinky, squelchy adventure packed with secret dens, tree climbing, troll traps and lots and lots of revolting smells. Reading age 8-10. Ideal to read aloud to younger children.

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

This book is wildly funny. I lost track of how many times I laughed out loud. - Kathleen, Amazon Reviewer Author Al Macy is a character and a tightwad with a unique sense of humor. He and his wife squirreled away enough money to retire early, do interesting things, and take unusual trips. As he puts it: "Every day I wake up with nothing to do, and by the end of the day, I've only gotten half of it done." During his working life, Macy was a neuroscientist, computer game programmer, jazz trombonist, chef, CEO, piano player, clam digger, and technical writer. The book is a journal of a car/bicycle/camping trip from California to St. Louis and back, but Macy promises that "if it starts sounding like one of your brother-in-law's boring slide shows, I will stop this book, and we'll turn around and go home. I mean it." Interspersed with the journal chapters, you'll find thought-provoking life tips, stories from the past, and descriptions of Al's wacky inventions. You'll hear poignant anecdotes about what happened when doctors discovered a golf-ball-sized tumor in his wife's brain and how everything they owned burned. But it's not a downer--trust me!

Max's Revenge: A wedding, a party and a plate of dog food stew: Volume 1 (The Max Books)

Max is out for revenge. In The Wedding, Max gets dumped from being the pageboy at his uncle's wedding. A five year old takes his place. Max isn't happy and he knows who is to blame. His evil aunt. Max wants revenge. Not just any revenge; but clever, satisfying revenge. Will he get his chance before the wedding is over? In Dog Food Stew, Max uncovers his aunt's evil plan to sell his nanna's house. But Max has a plan of his own. Will he stop his nanna's house from being sold and get revenge on his evil aunt? Revenge can be sweet, but it can also leave a funny taste. Book Categories: Adventure books for kids 9-12 Action books for kids 9-12 Series books for kids age 9-12 Children's adventure books age 9-12 Please scroll up and click the Look Inside feature on the top left hand side of the page.

Mark Twain on Masturbation:Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism

Title: Mark Twain on Masturbation( Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism) Binding: Paperback Author: MarkTwain Publisher: Createspace

Becoming Us: College love never hurt so good: Volume 1 (London Lovers Series)

The dreaded friend-zone... The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae. I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me. I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking? When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can't feel any lower...Brody stumbles into my path-barefoot no less, and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air. The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I've ever experienced. But Brody has a past. A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be. Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn't a total joke, Jake comes back into my life...and messes things up...possibly for good.

The Future and Why We Should Avoid It: Killer Robots, the Apocalypse and Other Topics of Mild Concern

The future holds many unknowns: advances in medical technology, increased airport security and critical new inventions like sentient, polygraph-enabled, wireless toasters. Luckily, Maclean's columnist Scott Feschuk has written a survival guide -- part how-to manual, part product guide, part apocalypse analysis and part sardonic observation -- to help us navigate these troubled times. Or at least make us laugh while we try. The Future and Why We Should Avoid It envisions the daunting, depressing era we have to look forward to with the best of Feschuk's musings on aging, death, technology, inventions, health and leisure. Combining quizzes, voiceovers and speeches, and employing snark, innuendo, toilet humor and shameless mockery -- because how else do you cope with the fact that one day you will die? -- Feschuk contemplates the fate of humanity and the planet in the upcoming years, poking fun, provoking thought and dredging up silver linings in even the darkest forecasts.

Foggy's Blog

A Very Foggy Christmas

I am Morten Astley Fogarty - insurance complaint handler, part-time barista and all-round entertainer. My career at the Perypils call centre has really taken off since my colleagues all voted for me to leave the team and transfer to complaints; I was chuffed to bits at being chosen! I love helping our customers resolve their concerns and as I've only received three death threats so far, I'm clearly doing something right. On Sundays, I work with an extremely talented Chef, Joe, who trained under the calming influence of Gordon Ramsay. Joe's party-trick is to hurl his bread knife through the kitchen hatch towards my head. He always deliberately misses, of course; we do have such fun! My girlfriend, Myra, is a wonderful actress and our director has tried her in lots of different positions. I know Myra is desperate to secure a leading part in our Christmas production, The Wizard of Oz and she has been scouring eBay for ruby slippers, size 9. Let's hope she can continue to satisfy the director!

Jokes about Russians

Senseless Attraction

Best Jokes 2016

Book Simulator

MachoPoni

The Brainwash Book

Submit. Obey. Consume. This book is screaming to get added to your collection. GIVE UP. QUESTION NOTHING. CONSUME. WASTE. WANT MORE. REPEAT. YOU ARE YOUR JOB. Read it. Live it. Pass it on.

Bearded

Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Aztec Amulet: Volume 1

Flo and Mo are not ordinary babies. Although they are only fourteen months old, they can use a computer, trick any mindless adult they want, and help their goofy detective father solve baffling crimes. Then a mysterious girl comes to their father, claiming that her grandmother has disappeared. Will the babies' superior brains be able to solve the mystery and save their bumbling parents?

Ooh! The Places You'll Go #2

Here's a great gag gift for that recent graduate or just to say congratulations to that newly promoted spouse, married friend or newborn baby... (in a tongue and cheek way). A Poop Spoof by Shawn Wickens about all the wondrous, adventurous places you'll go #2.

Frosted Sweets: Volume 1 (A Taste of Love)

A.M. Willard brings you a romantic comedy with a touch of contemporary romance and a dash of chick lit, which takes you on a journey of friendship. Frosted Sweets is the first installment of A Taste of Love Series in which we follow the lives of Morgan and Jayden, who are discovering life is anything but what it seems. Morgan Lewis, the owner of The Polka Dot Cafe & Bakery, is about to wed the man she's spent the last four years building a life with. What she doesn't know is, that's all about to change. Can her life move past a wedding disaster? Can her crazy friends help her pick up the pieces? And what's in store for this sweet baker? Along with a booming business, the Christmas holiday rush, and her friends, Morgan is really sent into a spin when Jayden Rivers moves to town. Jayden's focus is on his career in production, but what he wasn't expecting was to be knocked off his feet by a woman in the park. Sparks fly, but he's not sure if she's truly available or taken. With a severe sweet tooth and an addiction to Morgan Lewis's treats, he can't seem to stay away. Will it turn into sugar and spice? Or a friendship over some frosted treats?"

Best Adult Jokes 2016- Too Funny!

Welcome to the latest funny jokes of 2016. Original and unique, these are must read jokes. These jokes are great stress busters and will release Dopamine molecules in your brain. Try it out, I promise you quality entertainment through these jokes. These are all dirty jokes, so if you read this book, don't take offense. If you're a kid, stay away from this. tags: funny jokes for adults, adult jokes uncensored, best jokes 2016, adult joke book

Super Giggles Funny Jokes For Kids

The Whimsical Adventures of Mr. Poot and the Scary Baby

Mr. Poot is a very daring cat and his country life is one escapade after another until he finds his delightful world turned upside down. His family has expanded to include a new tiny individual and he isn't sure about the unexpected addition to the household. The baby makes him cautious at first, but then he realizes the little one might just need him. As always, there is no question he is always up for a new madcap adventure....

Old Friends, Epistolary Parody

This book (hardcover) is part of the TREDITION CLASSICS. It contains classical literature works from over two thousand years. Most of these titles have been out of print and off the bookstore shelves for decades. The book series is intended to preserve the cultural legacy and to promote the timeless works of classical literature. Readers of a TREDITION CLASSICS book support the mission to save many of the amazing works of world literature from oblivion. With this series, tredition intends to make thousands of international literature classics available in printed format again - worldwide.

A to Z of Silly Animals - The Best Selling Illustrated Children's Book for All Ages by Sprogling (The Silly Animals Series 1)

A wonderfully silly A to Z picture book of ridiculous mythical animals.

The charming, original illustrations and witty captions are sure to delight children of all ages as well as parents.

Enjoy the A to Z of Silly Animals with your child today!

Food-Free at Last: How I Learned to Eat Air

Get the Monkey Off Your Back! Food is a drug. Break the shackles of addiction and learn to eat air! In this detailed guide, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD gives you the practical, step-by-step advice you need to transition to the air-only diet.



Common Questions About the Air-Only Diet:



Q: Eating air? Are you crazy?



A: I am a medical doctor with more than forty years of clinical experience. An Obesity Epidemic is sweeping across our great nation. Eating air is the answer.



Q: Isn't there a risk of malnutrition?



A: Not at all! Air contains all the vitamins, minerals, electrolytes and essential amino acids your body needs.



Q: A friend of mine went on the air-only diet and starved to death. Will I die too?



A: Lies, lies and more lies! Propaganda spread by the agro-business special interests that run Washington. They will do anything to keep you down, in ignorance of the truth!



A Million Dieters Can't be Wrong!



Every day the emails pour in:



"Thank you, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD! Oh, thank you! I've eaten nothing but air for the last two months and I've lost eight hundred pounds! My husband says I'll make a fine skeleton! I can't wait!!!"



"Damn this air is tasty."



"Dear Dr. Jones, What a discovery! You make Einstein look like an ignoramus. We hereby award you the Prizes for Medicine, Chemistry and Peace." - the Nobel Committee



Also in This Groundbreaking Diet Book:







Lunge and Chomp - Learn the Secrets of Air-Eating Technique!

The Twelve Steps to Food Freedom - Anyone Can Do It!

The Hidden Menace in Our Society That Can Prevent You From Eating Air - and How We as a Nation Can Overcome It!





About the Author



An acclaimed pioneer in the field of Airitarianism, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD has dedicated his life to freeing food-eaters from slavery to addictive caloric substances. That's why he wrote Food-Free at Lastto expose the truth the agro-business special interests don't want you to know. And that's why he's running for President in 2013. It's time to put this country on a diet - the air-only diet, the only diet proven to work. It's time to cure our great nation of the Obesity Epidemic sweeping from coast to coast. It's time to end the oligarchy's influence on our political process and bring true freedom back to America. Go the Power of Air!

Mouse's Secret Club #1: Let It Snow (Inside the Gym!)

Mouse is rarely seen without one of his beloved pet mice. He is never far from his mystery solving best friend, Rebekah and now he has started his very own secret club.

Join him, Rebekah and 3 other classmates as they set out to have a little fun creating practical jokes and magic tricks while hopefully staying out of trouble in the process.

In Let It Snow, Mouse is determined to create a magnificent magical illusion for his classmates during the first week of school. He has the permission of the new principal and everything seems cool until it goes all wrong!

Prank Gone Wrong: Rebekah, Mouse & RJ: Special Edition

Rebekah, Mouse and RJ each have their own fun short story series and sometimes they come together, bringing you these special editions.



They all love hanging out, solving mysteries and playing pranks together and we hope you will enjoy these special times as well.



It's going to be a great weekend because RJ is coming to Curtis Bay to hang out with his fun detective cousin Rebekah and her best friend Mouse. What RJ doesn't know is that they are planning to introduce and invite him to join Mouse's Secret Club...introduce him to it with a funny prank that is on him until it looks like it might be on the whole town!



Yikes! It looks like the gang might have some explaining to do!

Health and Safety Time Executive

The Greeks were going to use a real horse at Troy until...

This is the diary of a time-travelling health and safety executive who tries to stop accidents through history before they happen.

If Dr Who can travel in time then why can't a Health and Safety Exec do the same? The Exec influences the Greek carpenter Epeius not to use a real horse to hide the soldiers in and to use an anatomically correct wooden horse instead as this will allow the free passage of air through the soldiers' working environment.

When Wyatt Earp is shooting people "full of lead", the Exec points out to Earp that lead is poisonous to people and that he should use silver instead. In Arthurian England, The Lady of the Lake is chastised for not wearing a rubber diving suit for her watery job of distributing swords to passers-by. Attila the Hun is warned to let women and children escape from the villages he is burning to the ground.

Fun Stories for Your Drive to Work

Your commute stinks. Your job's a mess. You didn't win Powerball. Here's help!



Get the first audiobook in the humorous Fun Stories series from award-winning writer R. Scott Murphy. Inspired by Friends, Seinfeld, The Office, Saturday Night Live, and The Far Side, the Fun Stories series offers amusing books, audiobooks, and CDs to help lighten your day.



Part storyteller, part game show host, part DJ, part madcap tour guide, Murphy shares embarrassing work stories, conducts crazy countdowns, sets out on silly Google safaris, and invites your participation through his interactive storytelling game called mental kickball. An accomplished radio and TV personality, game show producer, author, and four-time winner of the Late Show with David Letterman Top 10 List contest, Murphy takes random fun to the next level.



Sample fun:





Top-five theater: Count down the top five shamefully suggestive city names

Mental kickball survey: Is Starbucks more popular than deodorant in your office?

Fun school: Turn an uneasy meeting with a man peeing in the alley into a valuable life lesson

Commuter empowerment: Learn the best ways to make fun of other motorists and give clown commuter awards

Uplifting adventure: How Chick-fil-A makes Scott feel like Leonardo DiCaprio

In a world of superheroes: Proof positive that Scott is the freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling

Secret office tips: How to successfully plant decoy food in your work refrigerator



Your average daily commute now clocks in at a record 52 minutes (Census Bureau). Your total yearly commute time is now more than nine days. Scott says that's longer than some celebrity marriages. You deserve more smiles. Pick up Fun Stories for Your Drive to Work.

Unforgettable Tales from the Rebbe of Szczuczyn: A Book of Revelations

I am a ghost writer.

I was born in Szczuczyn, Poland on January 26, 1839; and I died in Grodno, Poland on September 15, 1933.

I had a shop selling household provisions that my wife managed. However, the business was not successful; and I turned to teaching in order to support myself and my family. From 1864 to 1869, I taught Talmud in Minsk and Washilishok.

I served as the town rabbi of Radin for a short period. I resigned from this position to establish the Yashivas Chaim in Szczuczyn.

My first book Seeker of Life dealt with the Biblical laws of gossip and slander. Guarding of the Tongue is a comprehensive discussion of the Jewish concept of the power of speech. Clarified Teachings is a commentary on Jewish Law. Explanation of the Law contains analyses of halachic rulings. Gate of Distinction clarifies ambiguous statements of Jewish Law. This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen is a collection of tales based on my imprisonment at Auschwitz. Magical Tales from the Rebbe of Szczuczyn is based on tales told by the Szczuczyn Chasidim with whom I grew up.

A discussion of lashon hara (derogatory speech about another person) usually assumes that the prohibition is rooted in the damage that it causes. But what damage do we cause ourselves by owning up to our own negative character traits? I am thinking of people who go beyond proper teshuvah (atoning for their sins) and habitually run themselves down. It is this constant negativity toward oneself that is forbidden because being overly self-critical is a slight on God, the Creator who made us. It's one thing to take honest stock of who we are; it's quite another thing to run ourselves down all the time (even if the charges are mostly true) without simultaneously appreciating what is good, decent, and even Godly within us. The self-directed lashon hara of speaking overly negatively about ourselves ignores the reality of God that forms the essence of every living soul.

In life, I was a modest and humble man. I did Justice; I loved Mercy; and I walked Humbly with my God.

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